Well, I know it has been a while since I have posted one of my "interminable" blogs, but I hope that you will indulge me as I write today about the Great Garage Sale that we held this past Saturday.
We kind of threw this together in a few days as I was unpacking from Gulf Wars. Needless to say, while the Gulf Wars laundry is (mostly) done (except for the cloaks which need to be Dryel-ed), the unpacking is not done because of this garage sale. I looked at the calendar and realized that not only was Easter upon us, but the Bridlewood community sale was coming up, and this is a great weekend for Garage Sales Extraordinary.
Bridlewood is this toney golf course community that is across from Wellington, the cheaper toney community that I live in. We bought the bigger house in Wellington as opposed to the smaller house in snobby Bridlewood (actually, given how snobby even Wellington is, I know we made the right choice). Bridlewood Elementary's PTA dues are three times what our PTA dues are. Our PTA offers constant programming, teacher grants, and even subsidizes class parties, so I can't imagine what their PTA offers that ours doesn't--maybe everyone gets a free pony or something.
Anyway, the Bridlewood sale is huge. Now, I don't actually go and shop because there are so many cars and pickups and flatbeds driving through the community at huge rates of speed that it is just downright dangerous. Plus, I don't need any more junk in my house. But it is a good opportunity to divert some traffic away from the sale and to our house.
I took all the really nice kids clothes that were left over from the spring Divine Consign sale to Once Upon a Child and got $59, then took my nice adult stuff (dressy clothes mostly) to a women's consignment shop, where they will be for 90 days. Fortunately I have now found one in the area (I used to live near one in Dallas). I should make a few bucks from this venture as well, maybe even about $200 or more since I did take 70 pieces (including jewelry). She takes 60% (ouch!) but it's better than I can get at a garage sale. Seriously.
So at our garage sale we had mostly men's casual clothes, a few ladies items that were too shabby for the consignment store, a few kids items that were too shabby for the consignment store, a few purses and accessories and old perfumes and bath products. I got my husband to sell some of his extra tools, drills and so forth, and we had a few housewares but not a lot since I didn't get through the whole kitchen in time.
We made $202 although we had a $4 item stolen and almost lost a brand new copy of High School Musical Extended Edition (duplicate) when a kid tried to run it to the car while I was heavily discounting the kids clothes his mom was buying (selling Gymboree for .50 to $1.00 really frosts me even when I know it's damaged!) We also had the city come through and take down three of our six signs, two of which belonged to a friend, and with it two of our candle lantern stakes were lost (which we reluctantly put on some signs at 2 am when we realized we didn't have anything to stake the signs down with).
But that is making $202 the HARD way, people. I told my husband, next time I will just try prostitution. It's not as much work and it's over faster. And I don't think I would have to haggle as much.
I priced everything at twice what I wanted and I still was amazed at the nerve of some people. I finally let some witch give me $5 for our sandbox turtle, because it was pretty beaten up and starting to crack, and I didn't want to haul it to consignment so I could get $7. But it still hacks me off. That's the Scot in me--I want to sell everything for top dollar. I will spend $50 for something I dont' need, but when I go to sell it I want $45. This is why I have so much crap in my house--because if I can't sell it for what it's worth, I don't want to sell it.
I don't mind when people are poor and want a good deal, but it irritates me when people are taking advantage of me, rich or poor. And that is the problem with garage sales around here--people take advantage. You know, I wouldn't be doing it if I couldn't use the cash, folks. I could be walking the dog and enjoying the beautiful weather, or at my crop that I didn't make it to until 2 pm. Spent too much at Gulf Wars. Need money for Scarborough Faire season. Don't have any other time to do a garage sale this spring.
My friend Lisa and I are going to try to do ANOTHER sale this Good Friday. Her kids were sick last week so she couldn't do it. The kids are off school this Friday but Robert has to work (although he will probably do so from home). In fact, he's on call, which I hope does not blow up in our faces since it's Easter Weekend and we also have Elfsea Defender and the Scarborough Faire dinner on Sunday afternoon. I had hoped to take the kids to the Arboretum but it's always so crowded on Good Friday (unless it rains, of course).
Besides, Lisa has an ebay store and she is really good at the retailing thing, so I want to see how she does a Garage Sale. Maybe I can pick up some pointers.
OK, have to run. The nurse just called. Amelia vomited at school so now she has to come home. It's a good thing I don't have a real job.
Pleasant Valley Mom (dreading going to school--did not shower yet)
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Gulf Wars Groupie
Well, we are home from Gulf Wars and tired but happy. It was a fabulous experience that I hope will soon be repeated, not just one of those once in a lifetime experiences. We got to stay in the marquee tent belonging to our friends Regan and Faelen (thanks, guys!) and in the words of Owen, currently King of Ansteorra, it was AWESOME!!!! It was like having a great big medieval room to live in. We had rugs over most of the tarp, including big ones under the two beds (cots, ours with an air matress on it). I think we need a new airmatress though. We were airing it up every night and by the end, once you were out of it, you couldn't really get back in. At some point it was like being in more of a hammock or on a waterbed or something. I had lots of fleece and fake fur to layer over the sleeping bags so we were comfy during the chilly nights, even though it was in the 40's. At least, I was comfy unless I had to get up to use the potty and then it was frigging COLD!!!
For those of you who are not in the SCA or have not been to Gulf Wares, it was amazing. My husband and Amelia counted license plates from 37 states and Ontario, although we know that there were people from Quebec there as well. Just about all the Kingdoms in the Known World were represented except for the European kingdom, which I think is Drachenwald. In other words, there were people from everywhere, coming in all week long, even Saturday for just the day. As Miranda said, it was like being in a Medieval Town all week. Many people especially down toward the fields had period encampments; ours was less so, regrettably, but still fun. We were camped on top of Namron (northern Oklahoma) and they got a kick out of hearing the encampment referred to as "Stamron" (Steppes/Namron). There was little extra room at the Ansteorra campground!
There was an opening procession where all the royalty and entourage processed in the morning, with the kings, queens and heirs on horseback. The current Queen of Ansteorra is blind so her horse was led by appropriately dressed persons, but she rode it nonetheless!!! (She's a brave lady). I don't have a great camera but I took lots of pictures and we were down front for all of the pageantry. The Kingdom of Glenn Ahban (Lousiana, probably spelled the kindgdom name wrong) hosts this event in Mississipi (which is part of the Kingdom of Meridies), so they are the "hosts" but it is a war between Ansteorra (Oklahoma and Texas) and Trimaris (Florida). I don't even know the official results yet although I understand we kicked butt in a lot of the battles, and we always kick butt in the Arts and Sciences competition. There is so much to do that I didn't even see anything except for one battle, and didn't see the rapier or the youth boffer either. Or the Bardic competition, although I heard a lot of the bards who competed, including the first and second place bards, at the Green Dragon.
So what did we do all that time if we weren't doing the other things? Well, we took lots of classes. The girls wanted to do Page School, which they loved. They met three of the four queens, had tea on the rapier field, made period fishing poles and went fishing, made bath salts, made a booklet, painted plaster figures, played games, and did lots of other cool stuff. The children's activities were four hours a day with a break for lunch, so it was close to the classes and easiest for us to do, especially since they WANTED to go. Plus it was close to the vendors (I did a bit of shopping too, in fact, quite a lot of shopping and looking and talking to vendors). I took classes in Lampwork, Naalbinding, the Bayeux Tapestry stitch, and the Florilegium (my beading class got cancelled so I slipped into this at the last minute; this was about Stephan's project to collect SCA-related articles and knowlege all in this one website). Two of my classes were cancelled at the last minute but I toured the Arts and Sciences populace display and voted, and Amelia and I toured the barn to see the horses (and we did see some youth boffer and rapier on the way). Miranda and I toured the Greyhound paddock and she got to walk a dog for thirty minutes (R took A down later and they all did this again--it was a big hit). We did not actually see the greyhound coursing or the equestrian events but R was also busy taking classes in a number of macho areas. We observed the leather bottle making and got some materials to do it, and he also took woodscraping, went to see a wood furniture slide show one night, and did a number of other classes. He and Miranda also took an egg basketmaking class and are halfway through an egg basket. He and the girls took a period games class while I was doing lampwork. I skipped the basket making because I unfortunately had burned my finger doing the lampwork (not badly but badly enough that i didn't feel like doing basketry with it). The light was coming into the classroom at a weird angle and I couldn't see the torch so I just took my finger right through it. Next year I want to take some classes in early period life because they have great classes (cooking over an open fire, lots of period stuff). In particular I want R to make the outdoor furnace--there's a class where you can make a little furnace out of a coffee can and mud and use it to start a small fire, kind of like a miniature fire pit--very cool and perfect for roasting marshmallows, and I think you can put charcoal in it.
So I had some mishaps, being accident prone as I am. In addition to burning myself--twice--during lampwork (but not enough to require medical attention), I almost fell off the shower platform in the Namron camp shower and broke my other ankle (keep in mind I was trying to shower at night in the dark with two ten year olds who were screaming that they didn't like showering in the camp shower--Miranda said that was the worst experience of her life). So, no more camp shower in the dark with twins for me. I offered to escort them to one of the bathhouses so they could shower again, but indicated that I would not be walking all over camp in my non period bathrobe, so they decided that one shower for the week was enough. So from then on I used the camp shower on my own in the daylight--unfortunately I never did figure out how to get the propane on hot though, so my next two showers were very cold. It reminded me of that time I went to Europe and showered three times in one week, and only one of the showers was hot. Well, fortunately it was gorgeous weather and not too hot, so I didn't sweat much, and in the open air you don't smell as bad either. I did bring some perfume. I never did get my hair trimmed but it did OK--I kept it in a snood or under a hat most of the time and tried to brush the tangles out twice a day.
My other mishap was that unfortunately I got the stomach bug that was going around, so I had about 24 hours where I didn't get much accomplished, just laid in bed. Fortunately we brought our portable potty and we weren't that far from the regular port a potties (but far enough!!) However the tent was very comfortable. It only rained once, at night, and that was a good thing because the roads were dusty and it cut the dust and the allergens. My nose had been running steadily and I was using lots of non period tissues (no way to wash hankies really), so it was nice to not have to do that. I thought it was asthma because I went into a portapotty after someone had been smoking in there and had an asthma attack and was violently ill. Then I had to go to the chirgeon tent later and get my husband to bring the nebulizer down (we had no electricity and I didn't realize we could have gotten it for medical reasons). So I had a breathing treatment and so did Amelia, who really needed one. But I still didn't feel well and it turned out I had a stomach bug.
So I had a cold when I got there, allergies, asthma attacks, burned finger twice, almost broke ankle, and stomach virus. All in all a typical vacation week for me! (I don't know what it is about vacations but it brings out the worst in my health--broke ankle the first time on the ranch vacation walking on the ROAD, not hiking--serious asthma and allergy problems at Disney World the next year, and I bet I had stomach flu or something on a prior vacation if I really think about it).
One of our acquaintences in Steppes was not impressed with the merchants, who she said have been better in prior years, but there was plenty for us to choose from. I enjoyed chatting with the merchants too. One guy and his wife had lovely hand painted wall hangings and I bought a few of the seconds for $1 each. He had taken leave from Iraq just to be there and will be back this week. Turned out he is from Lufkin originally and went to school at a small Christian school here in Flower Mound! So I wish him and his wife the best. They also had lovely hand-carved clay pipes, which I did not buy because I have so many knick knacks and we don't smoke, but they were very nice indeed.
I got some linen, some naalbinding materials, some Viking glass beads (I made a few but they aren't very good), some veils (I can't get the hang of the edge sewing on the veils--it's like making wedding veils, kind of tricky). Some veil pins, some naalbinding needles, some pins, some buttons, etc. (things that don't cost much and are easy to transport back). R got a knife and a new bag and we both got some cheap leather belts that we may decorate later with some conchos or something. We got a pack of harder leather and some leather ties, and the girls also learned from the leather guy how to braid one or two strings of the leather into belts and bracelets and hat bands. I got some books in kuminhimo (Japanese braiding) so maybe now I can use my loom to full advantage, plus I got the little foamy things, numbered like the book, to use while sitting in bed watching TV. Amelia made me buy some buttons but I don't know what those are for, exactly. The girls got some honeysticks and some other little tchotskes, and I got some inexpensive cloak clasps (mine is still not sewed on and I have to re-do R's but at least we have something--we decided we didn't like the pins I have been holding for us since the Scottish festival). I got them some Viking pins for their little aprons. What I didn't get but wanted was something from the Scandanavian booth that had items made from all over the world by Viking Reinactors, including lanterns made from wood and sheep's bladder, weaving, pottery, beautiful handmade bronze etc. My favorite piece was the $450 coat pin, but of course I didn't get it. Just looked at it three or four times. It was really museum quality stuff. I really wish now that I had gotten the lantern, which was still $90, but I need some veils and linen and stuff more (white linen was $5 a yard and it's $12 a yard on line and never less than about $8 here in town, if you can even find it. At Perth Street linen is $6 a yard but they rarely have black, brown or white). Well, maybe they will come next year. They were very expensive but had beautiful work--it's just that I focused on basics instead this year. Oh, and don't forget the Gulf Wars t shirts!
The trip didn't seem that long for me. It was about 12 to 13 hours with all the stops but I was sewing all the way down and most of the way back except when it was dark. We did have bad weather warnings on the way back (and snow in Dallas) so we stopped in Ruston and spent the night at a Holiday Inn express--got cleaned up and had an awesome breakfast. I also don't know the name of it but there is a fabulous truck stop between Lufkin and Tyler that has marble bathrooms and serves great Barb-B-Que, although it's not cheap ($9 a plate, $2 for extra sides). I got Amelia two sides and Miranda insisted on getting her own meal, but I took the leftovers home and had them for lunch Monday. The Barbeque is not as good as the Bodacious Barbeque which is in the same general area, but it is not bad. Only in Texas do the truck stops have Marble Bathrooms. Welcome back to civilization. It was snowing (flurries) and I wore my cloak inside so I got some strange looks, especially since our wardrobe by then was not very coordinated (whatever was clean, basically, and R was wearing my Big Rock Ranch shirt--hopefully no one knew it was from a Scrapbooking retreat).
But back to Gulf Wars. The best part of Gulf Wars for me was going to the Green Dragon to hear Heather Dale and other premiere bards, from Ansteorra and other parts of the known World. I didn't buy any CDs because I know I can get them later but the music was fabulous. This is a real pub, and everyone sits around in garb in the candlelight. There is some artificial lighting in period style lamps but not much. There is a gallery overhead where the performers can be or they can be on the main floor. They have beverages and food for a "suggested donation," a whole Ploughman's platter for $3. Presumably if you can't pay you can still eat and drink a bit. (of course there's a lot of free food and booze and the nightly parties too). We heard Ken Theriot (whose SCA name I am blanking out on) sing "To Serve the Lily" from Human History (one of his albums of SCA songs) and Owain Phyfe who we know from Scarborough Faire was also there! He was also at the Mediterranean place the next day (fabulous food there too!) And of course Heather Dale herself, all the way from Canada, although I believe she is going to be giving a house concert here in Dallas soon. She has, as one person in the audience said, the voice of an angel. She made me cry, and the girls were transfixed. We had to leave after her second set because they were getting tired and my stomach was acting up, and there were royals in the gallery so I didn't want to have an accident or something up there, so we sort of snuck away to give them a better seat, but it was marvelous. Except for a vehicle that I saw go by outside (probably a golf cart since most vehicles are parked at the parking lot all week), it was really like being in a medieval pub, except that people probably smelled better and were from all periods of history in their dress. Oh, R and I also really enjoyed the dirty Viking humor on the last night, especially the Odin Revival done in the style of Jimmy Swaggert ("Can I get an Odin? Do I hear an Odin? As opposed to "Amen.") And we weren't even that drunk.
We did take the kids to the Green Dragon a lot (although we left them in bed for the Viking humor part). We went to the Axmore party for Baroness Morgan's Pelican elevation (got our Bob names and everything--tasted some really good trashcan punch and mead). We skipped a lot of the wilder parties, and I was sick or I would have gone over to the Wolfstar party. We did go to the Known World party hosted by Ansteorra, which was Octoberfest--lots of free sausage on a stick and pretzels to die for, and German Bar maids with shots, and mead and beer and some of the sourest cider I think I have ever had. Plus trashcan punch of course, and I was proud to say that we contributed some of the Christmas lights that were decorating the place. This was held inside the fort after the grand court and the elevation ceremony of Baroness Morgan, who gave us all linen handkerchiefs as favors so we could cry with her (and we all got to wave them in the air). Even the girls enjoyed the Known World party, although we did take them home after a short while and put them to bed, then went out again ourselves and back to the Green Dragon and the party. There was lots of drumming and dancing, although I never did make it over to the middle eastern area. Next year maybe we will get out more, since the girls don't mind sleeping in the tent alone now. Unfortunately though, there is not much for teens--they need some teen activities in the evening, or teen parties, because some of the parties will not admit anyone under 21.
Well, enough for now. I will probably be gushing about Gulf Wars all week. The kids are ready now to go to Pennsic. Probably won't go this year, but we are definitely thinking about Lillies War in Kansas this summer!
PleasantValleyMom, sorry to be back in the mundane again
For those of you who are not in the SCA or have not been to Gulf Wares, it was amazing. My husband and Amelia counted license plates from 37 states and Ontario, although we know that there were people from Quebec there as well. Just about all the Kingdoms in the Known World were represented except for the European kingdom, which I think is Drachenwald. In other words, there were people from everywhere, coming in all week long, even Saturday for just the day. As Miranda said, it was like being in a Medieval Town all week. Many people especially down toward the fields had period encampments; ours was less so, regrettably, but still fun. We were camped on top of Namron (northern Oklahoma) and they got a kick out of hearing the encampment referred to as "Stamron" (Steppes/Namron). There was little extra room at the Ansteorra campground!
There was an opening procession where all the royalty and entourage processed in the morning, with the kings, queens and heirs on horseback. The current Queen of Ansteorra is blind so her horse was led by appropriately dressed persons, but she rode it nonetheless!!! (She's a brave lady). I don't have a great camera but I took lots of pictures and we were down front for all of the pageantry. The Kingdom of Glenn Ahban (Lousiana, probably spelled the kindgdom name wrong) hosts this event in Mississipi (which is part of the Kingdom of Meridies), so they are the "hosts" but it is a war between Ansteorra (Oklahoma and Texas) and Trimaris (Florida). I don't even know the official results yet although I understand we kicked butt in a lot of the battles, and we always kick butt in the Arts and Sciences competition. There is so much to do that I didn't even see anything except for one battle, and didn't see the rapier or the youth boffer either. Or the Bardic competition, although I heard a lot of the bards who competed, including the first and second place bards, at the Green Dragon.
So what did we do all that time if we weren't doing the other things? Well, we took lots of classes. The girls wanted to do Page School, which they loved. They met three of the four queens, had tea on the rapier field, made period fishing poles and went fishing, made bath salts, made a booklet, painted plaster figures, played games, and did lots of other cool stuff. The children's activities were four hours a day with a break for lunch, so it was close to the classes and easiest for us to do, especially since they WANTED to go. Plus it was close to the vendors (I did a bit of shopping too, in fact, quite a lot of shopping and looking and talking to vendors). I took classes in Lampwork, Naalbinding, the Bayeux Tapestry stitch, and the Florilegium (my beading class got cancelled so I slipped into this at the last minute; this was about Stephan's project to collect SCA-related articles and knowlege all in this one website). Two of my classes were cancelled at the last minute but I toured the Arts and Sciences populace display and voted, and Amelia and I toured the barn to see the horses (and we did see some youth boffer and rapier on the way). Miranda and I toured the Greyhound paddock and she got to walk a dog for thirty minutes (R took A down later and they all did this again--it was a big hit). We did not actually see the greyhound coursing or the equestrian events but R was also busy taking classes in a number of macho areas. We observed the leather bottle making and got some materials to do it, and he also took woodscraping, went to see a wood furniture slide show one night, and did a number of other classes. He and Miranda also took an egg basketmaking class and are halfway through an egg basket. He and the girls took a period games class while I was doing lampwork. I skipped the basket making because I unfortunately had burned my finger doing the lampwork (not badly but badly enough that i didn't feel like doing basketry with it). The light was coming into the classroom at a weird angle and I couldn't see the torch so I just took my finger right through it. Next year I want to take some classes in early period life because they have great classes (cooking over an open fire, lots of period stuff). In particular I want R to make the outdoor furnace--there's a class where you can make a little furnace out of a coffee can and mud and use it to start a small fire, kind of like a miniature fire pit--very cool and perfect for roasting marshmallows, and I think you can put charcoal in it.
So I had some mishaps, being accident prone as I am. In addition to burning myself--twice--during lampwork (but not enough to require medical attention), I almost fell off the shower platform in the Namron camp shower and broke my other ankle (keep in mind I was trying to shower at night in the dark with two ten year olds who were screaming that they didn't like showering in the camp shower--Miranda said that was the worst experience of her life). So, no more camp shower in the dark with twins for me. I offered to escort them to one of the bathhouses so they could shower again, but indicated that I would not be walking all over camp in my non period bathrobe, so they decided that one shower for the week was enough. So from then on I used the camp shower on my own in the daylight--unfortunately I never did figure out how to get the propane on hot though, so my next two showers were very cold. It reminded me of that time I went to Europe and showered three times in one week, and only one of the showers was hot. Well, fortunately it was gorgeous weather and not too hot, so I didn't sweat much, and in the open air you don't smell as bad either. I did bring some perfume. I never did get my hair trimmed but it did OK--I kept it in a snood or under a hat most of the time and tried to brush the tangles out twice a day.
My other mishap was that unfortunately I got the stomach bug that was going around, so I had about 24 hours where I didn't get much accomplished, just laid in bed. Fortunately we brought our portable potty and we weren't that far from the regular port a potties (but far enough!!) However the tent was very comfortable. It only rained once, at night, and that was a good thing because the roads were dusty and it cut the dust and the allergens. My nose had been running steadily and I was using lots of non period tissues (no way to wash hankies really), so it was nice to not have to do that. I thought it was asthma because I went into a portapotty after someone had been smoking in there and had an asthma attack and was violently ill. Then I had to go to the chirgeon tent later and get my husband to bring the nebulizer down (we had no electricity and I didn't realize we could have gotten it for medical reasons). So I had a breathing treatment and so did Amelia, who really needed one. But I still didn't feel well and it turned out I had a stomach bug.
So I had a cold when I got there, allergies, asthma attacks, burned finger twice, almost broke ankle, and stomach virus. All in all a typical vacation week for me! (I don't know what it is about vacations but it brings out the worst in my health--broke ankle the first time on the ranch vacation walking on the ROAD, not hiking--serious asthma and allergy problems at Disney World the next year, and I bet I had stomach flu or something on a prior vacation if I really think about it).
One of our acquaintences in Steppes was not impressed with the merchants, who she said have been better in prior years, but there was plenty for us to choose from. I enjoyed chatting with the merchants too. One guy and his wife had lovely hand painted wall hangings and I bought a few of the seconds for $1 each. He had taken leave from Iraq just to be there and will be back this week. Turned out he is from Lufkin originally and went to school at a small Christian school here in Flower Mound! So I wish him and his wife the best. They also had lovely hand-carved clay pipes, which I did not buy because I have so many knick knacks and we don't smoke, but they were very nice indeed.
I got some linen, some naalbinding materials, some Viking glass beads (I made a few but they aren't very good), some veils (I can't get the hang of the edge sewing on the veils--it's like making wedding veils, kind of tricky). Some veil pins, some naalbinding needles, some pins, some buttons, etc. (things that don't cost much and are easy to transport back). R got a knife and a new bag and we both got some cheap leather belts that we may decorate later with some conchos or something. We got a pack of harder leather and some leather ties, and the girls also learned from the leather guy how to braid one or two strings of the leather into belts and bracelets and hat bands. I got some books in kuminhimo (Japanese braiding) so maybe now I can use my loom to full advantage, plus I got the little foamy things, numbered like the book, to use while sitting in bed watching TV. Amelia made me buy some buttons but I don't know what those are for, exactly. The girls got some honeysticks and some other little tchotskes, and I got some inexpensive cloak clasps (mine is still not sewed on and I have to re-do R's but at least we have something--we decided we didn't like the pins I have been holding for us since the Scottish festival). I got them some Viking pins for their little aprons. What I didn't get but wanted was something from the Scandanavian booth that had items made from all over the world by Viking Reinactors, including lanterns made from wood and sheep's bladder, weaving, pottery, beautiful handmade bronze etc. My favorite piece was the $450 coat pin, but of course I didn't get it. Just looked at it three or four times. It was really museum quality stuff. I really wish now that I had gotten the lantern, which was still $90, but I need some veils and linen and stuff more (white linen was $5 a yard and it's $12 a yard on line and never less than about $8 here in town, if you can even find it. At Perth Street linen is $6 a yard but they rarely have black, brown or white). Well, maybe they will come next year. They were very expensive but had beautiful work--it's just that I focused on basics instead this year. Oh, and don't forget the Gulf Wars t shirts!
The trip didn't seem that long for me. It was about 12 to 13 hours with all the stops but I was sewing all the way down and most of the way back except when it was dark. We did have bad weather warnings on the way back (and snow in Dallas) so we stopped in Ruston and spent the night at a Holiday Inn express--got cleaned up and had an awesome breakfast. I also don't know the name of it but there is a fabulous truck stop between Lufkin and Tyler that has marble bathrooms and serves great Barb-B-Que, although it's not cheap ($9 a plate, $2 for extra sides). I got Amelia two sides and Miranda insisted on getting her own meal, but I took the leftovers home and had them for lunch Monday. The Barbeque is not as good as the Bodacious Barbeque which is in the same general area, but it is not bad. Only in Texas do the truck stops have Marble Bathrooms. Welcome back to civilization. It was snowing (flurries) and I wore my cloak inside so I got some strange looks, especially since our wardrobe by then was not very coordinated (whatever was clean, basically, and R was wearing my Big Rock Ranch shirt--hopefully no one knew it was from a Scrapbooking retreat).
But back to Gulf Wars. The best part of Gulf Wars for me was going to the Green Dragon to hear Heather Dale and other premiere bards, from Ansteorra and other parts of the known World. I didn't buy any CDs because I know I can get them later but the music was fabulous. This is a real pub, and everyone sits around in garb in the candlelight. There is some artificial lighting in period style lamps but not much. There is a gallery overhead where the performers can be or they can be on the main floor. They have beverages and food for a "suggested donation," a whole Ploughman's platter for $3. Presumably if you can't pay you can still eat and drink a bit. (of course there's a lot of free food and booze and the nightly parties too). We heard Ken Theriot (whose SCA name I am blanking out on) sing "To Serve the Lily" from Human History (one of his albums of SCA songs) and Owain Phyfe who we know from Scarborough Faire was also there! He was also at the Mediterranean place the next day (fabulous food there too!) And of course Heather Dale herself, all the way from Canada, although I believe she is going to be giving a house concert here in Dallas soon. She has, as one person in the audience said, the voice of an angel. She made me cry, and the girls were transfixed. We had to leave after her second set because they were getting tired and my stomach was acting up, and there were royals in the gallery so I didn't want to have an accident or something up there, so we sort of snuck away to give them a better seat, but it was marvelous. Except for a vehicle that I saw go by outside (probably a golf cart since most vehicles are parked at the parking lot all week), it was really like being in a medieval pub, except that people probably smelled better and were from all periods of history in their dress. Oh, R and I also really enjoyed the dirty Viking humor on the last night, especially the Odin Revival done in the style of Jimmy Swaggert ("Can I get an Odin? Do I hear an Odin? As opposed to "Amen.") And we weren't even that drunk.
We did take the kids to the Green Dragon a lot (although we left them in bed for the Viking humor part). We went to the Axmore party for Baroness Morgan's Pelican elevation (got our Bob names and everything--tasted some really good trashcan punch and mead). We skipped a lot of the wilder parties, and I was sick or I would have gone over to the Wolfstar party. We did go to the Known World party hosted by Ansteorra, which was Octoberfest--lots of free sausage on a stick and pretzels to die for, and German Bar maids with shots, and mead and beer and some of the sourest cider I think I have ever had. Plus trashcan punch of course, and I was proud to say that we contributed some of the Christmas lights that were decorating the place. This was held inside the fort after the grand court and the elevation ceremony of Baroness Morgan, who gave us all linen handkerchiefs as favors so we could cry with her (and we all got to wave them in the air). Even the girls enjoyed the Known World party, although we did take them home after a short while and put them to bed, then went out again ourselves and back to the Green Dragon and the party. There was lots of drumming and dancing, although I never did make it over to the middle eastern area. Next year maybe we will get out more, since the girls don't mind sleeping in the tent alone now. Unfortunately though, there is not much for teens--they need some teen activities in the evening, or teen parties, because some of the parties will not admit anyone under 21.
Well, enough for now. I will probably be gushing about Gulf Wars all week. The kids are ready now to go to Pennsic. Probably won't go this year, but we are definitely thinking about Lillies War in Kansas this summer!
PleasantValleyMom, sorry to be back in the mundane again
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Packrats R Us
How did I get so much STUFF? My house looks like World War III. It doesn't help that I am packing for Gulf War, but it was bad before anyway because of DI, Girl Scouts, Scrapbooking, etc. As someone recently said as she walked in the door, "you have a lot going on!"
But how did I get so much stuff? I used to be able to put everything I owned in my Buick Electra. Granted, it was a 1967 Buick Electra and it was HUGE. It held 8 college students. This was my first car, and my grandparents gave it to me my senior year in college. I moved from law school to Atlanta in that car and I put everything I needed for the whole summer in it.
But seriously, I am packing and repacking plastic bins for Gulf Wars and I am amazed. One bin for shoes. One plastic shoe box (small) for belts. One slilghtly larger plastic shoe box for hats. One bin for blankets and insulating stuff for the matresses. One bin for table coverings, cooler coverings, chair coverings, towels and pillows. One bin for kids clothes (period garb or medieval costumes). One bin for adult clothes (also period). One bin for general camping stuff like bug spray and flashlights. One bin for cooking equipment and dishes. Feast gear. Archery stuff. Drum. A & S projects. Sewing. Yikes!! I don't think it will all fit. This does not even include the tent, air mattress, rugs, tarps, four cots, tent poles (some of this stuff is going on the top of the van), cooler, food, bottled water etc. etc. I am seriously amazed. I don't know how we are going to get it all there, or home. Is it too late to buy a trailer?
Christianna aka Pleasant Valley Mom thinking, What Have I gotten Myself Into?
But how did I get so much stuff? I used to be able to put everything I owned in my Buick Electra. Granted, it was a 1967 Buick Electra and it was HUGE. It held 8 college students. This was my first car, and my grandparents gave it to me my senior year in college. I moved from law school to Atlanta in that car and I put everything I needed for the whole summer in it.
But seriously, I am packing and repacking plastic bins for Gulf Wars and I am amazed. One bin for shoes. One plastic shoe box (small) for belts. One slilghtly larger plastic shoe box for hats. One bin for blankets and insulating stuff for the matresses. One bin for table coverings, cooler coverings, chair coverings, towels and pillows. One bin for kids clothes (period garb or medieval costumes). One bin for adult clothes (also period). One bin for general camping stuff like bug spray and flashlights. One bin for cooking equipment and dishes. Feast gear. Archery stuff. Drum. A & S projects. Sewing. Yikes!! I don't think it will all fit. This does not even include the tent, air mattress, rugs, tarps, four cots, tent poles (some of this stuff is going on the top of the van), cooler, food, bottled water etc. etc. I am seriously amazed. I don't know how we are going to get it all there, or home. Is it too late to buy a trailer?
Christianna aka Pleasant Valley Mom thinking, What Have I gotten Myself Into?
Friday, March 5, 2010
How to Overschedule and Burn Out Your Children
OK, it is now about 1:15 am and I am FINALLY finished with the DI paperwork. I copied most of it today but the damned detailed spreadsheet wouldn't work out at 2:30 am yesterday so I finally finished that too. I really did want to make sure I had spent under $125 (the budgeted amount) on this challenge and not $175 like it was telling me. The problem was that I had 25 feet of craft wire listed incorrectly so it was showing at $35 instead of .50. Or at least that was ONE of the problems. Anyway, it doesn't actually agree with what I am giving the appraisers but it is LESS than what I am giving the appraisers (the appraiser sheet estimates too high a cost for duct tape, for example).
I could work on it all night but it would never agree. This is why I hate Quicken and I hate to balance checkbooks. I am no accountant. I had a rough idea of what I had spent (about $110 to $120) and sure enough, one report says $107 and one says $116. So I'm pretty damn close in my head, and I haven't really overspent except for the color copies of the forms today (not part of or included in the budget but would you believe, over $59!!!) I sure hope I don't get audited, as they say. Although I think I am about as accurate as I can be at this point, and I even have receipts. Of course, part of the reason that I am trying to be accurate is so that my husband can write some of it off the taxes, since I always end up spending more of my personal money than my fair share when I do these things. It's one of the reasons I got out of Scouts--the recordkeeping was so burdensome and I always ended up out of pocket.
But I have just about had it with these oversheduled children and their parents! Some months ago I told everyone to totally block out March 6th for the TOURNAMENT because I didn't know for sure when we would be performing, etc. I also asked that the kids be present for the Instant Challenge Workshop where they all need to practice IC as a team, and for the dress rehearsal last Sunday. Well, in all cases (even tomorrow) someone can't be there or couldn't be there for the whole thing. The parents never tell me this until the last minute, as if I am going to argue with them or something. It really hacks me off. Now one little girl needs to go to soccer tomorrow, even though that means that the whole group will have to try to meet up with her mom in the middle of the day so she can go home. I wonder what other surprises are in store for me tomorrow. I sure hope they all show up at 7:30 am.
Now here's the thing about Destination Imagination: although there is a tournament and a competition, it's more about process than product. It's about teamwork and learning how to work together. It's very subjective (well most of it anyway) so you can't really predict how you will do. It's the Ice Dancing of the kids' activities world. Your goal should be do to your personal best. If you can do your personal best, then it is OK if you don't get the gold medal. You may be a bit disappointed but you shouldn't be disappointed if you don't win American Idol when you are next in line behind David Cook. But here's the trick--you get out of Destination Imagination what you put into it. You have fun and you get silly but you work and work and work on stuff. One of our backdrops took over 10 kid hours, and that was with two or three kids on it at all times. Some of the stuff they make can be incredibly involved. And they have all these grandiose ideas at the beginning, many of which turn out not to come to fruition, which is a shame but it's just DI. Sometimes the ideas you have are too grand for the budget and the time you have to complete them.
The other thing about DI that a lot of people don't get is that the kids do all the work. If the parents help or do it for them, it is interference and it's a penalty at the tournament. I am supposed to facilitate and generate ideas but not give them ideas. I am supposed to get them to do research and look at books and such. I am supposed to get them to learn by participating in workshops and trying things out. This year we learned how to make paper pulp and sculpt in clay, and we also learned that our clay puppet head just would not attach well to the body and was very heavy, so we spent a lot of time on a solution that got abandoned. But here again, this was process, not product. (And I also learned that you should never make paper pulp out of newspaper in your kitchen--the ink is a MESS! Finally had to borrow my friend Viv's dye pot--thank God for the SCA, where people who live in apartments own pots that you can use to make a big mess in.) The next time I'm at a thrift shop or CCA or something, I am looking for a big dye pot myself. Or I could always just keep borrowing someone else's dye pot.
So I'm tired of the constantly overscheduled kids. They don't get the full benefit when they don't participate. Now I could be a meanie like a soccer coach and say if you don't participate for a certain number of hours, you don't get to do X. My friend Cyndy who coaches a high level team that has been to Globals makes her kids sign in and out to see who is putting in the most time. She also told me not to let one girl participate in IC (instant challenge) since she missed the workshop for a drama thing at church. But you know, I'm not that big a hard ass. For one thing, the girl that missed is one of our most experienced team members and I WANT her in IC because she knows what she is doing. Also, the dress rehearsal for the church thing supposedly came up kind of last minute, and these things happen. Finally, her mom is very supportive of DI and is being an appraiser this year, a substantial time commitment. So no, I am not booting her out of IC, in part for political reasons, and except for this one thing, her attendance has been pretty good. But I do think that from now on I may make it a policy that if you miss the IC workshop you can't do IC with the team. Because we have a really good team and we could be great, but only with time and effort and commitment, just like a sports team. We have the brains--we need the focus and the unscheduled blocks of time. And that is the hardest thing of all to come by in our overstructured and overscheduled society.
My girls participate in Destination Imagination, which I coach, and Scouts. Because we do the SCA thing and the Ren Faire thing in the spring, we aren't in sports right now. The last time we tried it, it severely limited what we could do on Saturdays with our other activities. If my girls were really talented at sports it would be one thing, but they are small for their age and don't have a lot of sports aptitude. M was really good at soccer but when the field got larger and the girls got taller, they mowed over her (even her own teammates). She was a great ball handler but they just took it away from her (even her own teammates) and then missed the goal. I mean, M could score 6 goals in a game when the field was small, but she couldn't keep up with the running. And A in particular struggled with her asthma in the spring. They play in February around here and it was really cold this year, so I was glad that we were out of it. Plus, it looks like they are going to be around 5 feet tall IF we are lucky.
We have tried gymnastics and dance but with the ADHD they are both so distracted that it just becomes extended playtime. And dance gets really expensive with two girls, about $1000 a semester around here by the time you buy all the costumes and the shoes and pay for all the lessons. So I haven't done it. I got M a guitar for Christmas and I got A the small drumset from Target and I would like to get them into music, but not until DI is over. Plus they have Scouts and scout campouts and such, and it often conflicts even with DI (they are missing the Father Daughter Girl Scout Dance this year, unfortunately, because of this conflict). The DI state tournament, which we were going to go to and watch even if we didn't place high enough to go and perform, is here locally this year. Unfortunately it conflicts with the big Girl Scout campout. So if our team makes it to the State Tournament, we will have a big brouhaha about all of that, since five of our six team members are supposed to go on the campout.
(send me a note if you know how to spell that "brou ha ha" word, OK)??
I guess I am not feeling very amused right now. I am so tired of kids missing DI because of all of these other things that they are doing. The girl down the street has soccer, hockey, student council and jump rope team. And she's 9. Another girl I know who doesn't have time for DI does gymnastics 5 days a week. Another kid I know is in three sports. The Tae Kwon Do and Karate people do it 3-4 times a week. Plus in addition to the games there are bithday parties and family things, and so forth and so on. Two of the girls missed dress rehearsal, one because of a family thing that was important (90th birthday party of grandpa), but it would have been nice if she had told me in advance so I could have rescheduled. The other missed dress rehearsal because her family decided to take an impromptu vacation and forgot totally about it. So I had to schedule ANOTHER one, because with only 4 girls to do a skit that was intended for 6, the firs dress rehearsal was a total train wreck. We have it on tape. I am trying to read the parts of the other two girls and keep time. It's a mess.
We finally ALL practiced today and all I could think of was how much better this skit would have been if we had all practiced together Sunday or even before. But we couldn't get our props, including the giant Chinese Dragon Puppet, done in time to practice much before, plus it has been way too cold in the garage and because we live out here in Texas, we don't have a basement. In fact, we didn't even paint anything this year except a few chairs because it just wasn't warm enough most of the time to paint outside or in the garage. And we had several days where we had three of the six show up for work sessions (two of them being my kids, of course).
My daughters get a little frustrated because if there is anything that needs to be done in DI they end up having to do it. But I have explained that this actually benefits them, and that if they want me to coach they need to put in the extra time too. In fact, I do have one rule: they can't take unfinished stuff to tournament. If they scale back the original idea, that's fine--but they can't take a half finished backdrop or puppet or something to tournament. They must finish their props, costumes, etc. to take them. The items don't have to be perfect and some of them don't even have to be good but they do need to be DONE. Finish what you start.
I am not sure where all this overscheduling of 9 year olds will lead. I think it will lead to total burnout, and that some of these kids will decide not to go to college or will not want to do much with extracurriculars even in high school. Others will be so specialized by the time they are 12 that they won't have anything to fall back on if whatever their specialty is doesn't work out in the long run. I remember meeting kids at Target who weren't in college and had very little future, and in one case it was a gal who was a great soccer player but dropped it for political reasons after her junior year of high school. She did complete high school but she had nothing at all to fall back on and couldn't afford to go to school, got no soccer scholarship, and for all I know she is still folding towels in Domestics like I was. The difference being that I wanted to be there and make a little Christmas money and get away from 4 year old toddlers for a few hours, and for her it was a career.
Now those of you who know me from high school know that I was overscheduled, but I did this myself (not my parents). And I learned the hard way senior year that being the News Editor of the Paper and the Literary Magazine Editor and in NHS and Key Club and Latin Club and all of these other things--and I didn't do sports--was very difficult. It led to a lot of late nights and a lot of tears sometimes as I tried to balance schoolwork with all the writing and the other more academic interests. I was on the Certamen team (college bowl for Latin geeks). I flirted with chess club and debate team (or at least with the guys--my kind of guys!!!) I studied Mythology and took the exam at the Latin convention and was third in the state, two years running (see, always an also-ran). I was fourth in the class (again, always a bridesmaid, never the bride). I thought I was really hot shit, let me tell you.
When I got to college things were different. My parents wanted me in a sorority because I went to their college and that was the thing to do at William and Mary, so I was in a sorority, Kappa Alpha Theta. Not really my thing, being around all those women with all their hormones, but there were some good experiences that came out of there and I learned a lot about "corporate" leadership skills, although unfortunately since there were no men involved it wasn't very realistic. But a sorority is generally very well run from a business perspective--a sorority is a little on campus business. They are in the business of self promotion so they are always reminding you when to wear your pin (and when not to, like when you are drunk). On Mondays we were supposed to dress up (plaid kilts and sweaters and clogs, really!) and wear our pins because that was Meeting Day. On Fridays it was Jersey Day and you wore your Kappa Alpha Theta black and gold jersey but not your pin. Because on Friday you just might go out and party or something in college. Go figure. Anyway, other than Theta and studying with my graduate student boyfriend (who took me to the library every night from after dinner until 10 pm, and I am not kidding), the only other activity I had was literary magazine, where I was a mere staffer for three years. I didn't have time to write for the college paper; I tried but it was too much like an unpaid job. I was spending the rest of my time either studying my ass off at William and Mary or having sex. Seriously. And the studying was much more prolific than the sex too. No wonder I made Phi Beta Kappa ahead of my much brighter friend Rise, and got nearly straight A's, was 12th in the class, and went on to a bright future at UVA Law School. Hopefully you can read between the lines and catch a bit of the sarcasm here because I'm not trying to brag. I really did do all these things, but it turned out that law wasn't exactly what it was cracked up to be for me, although that's a whole different essay.
The point is that I didn't burn myself out with activities in college because I learned my lesson in high school. College was harder than high school so I concentrated on my studies. It paid off. In law school, my extracurriculars (other than sex of course) were the Journal of Law and Politics (ironic since I don't really follow politics much but this journal specialized in things like election law, which I find fascinating, and had people of both political parties involved in it), and Moot Court, which I only did briefly because my partner was a lovely woman and a space cadet with a huge brain but very little common sense. She had the longest hair I've ever seen and she would have LOVED the SCA. She was very bright but she was a bigger pointy headed geek than even me, and she struggled with appellate argument although this would have been a good place for her in the legal world. I wish I knew what happened to her--I miss her. Maybe she is on FB. Anyway, between me and my partner, with whom I was probably very well-matched, we just weren't practical enough and just didn't have enough of that killer instinct, so we didn't advance beyond the first round. My boyfriend at the time went on to the final round of Moot Court--he wouldn't be partners with me though because he didn't think I was smart enough and after all, I was only a woman. I didn't realize until I got to law school how sexist life out there could be, at least in the 1980's--I had been sheltered by sorority life, I guess.
My favorite part of law school was my trial practice class, where we got to do a criminal defense case and I put panty hose over my head at closing argument. It was a lot of fun, even though I got reamed by the judge ( a REAL judge in real life) becuase of course I couldn't have gotten away with that in a real trial. But it got a laugh out of the jury and we won our case. That's me, Liz Wilson, Comedy Trial Lawyer. Not that I ever really wanted to do criminal defense work (corporate defense work being so much more on the morally high ground, you know), but I sure did enjoy that trial!!!
Well, I should really go to bed because I have a 14 hour day tomorrow with six (well, now it may be down to 5) 10 year olds and I suppose I need some sleep. And my Earl Gray Lady tea and Samoas are gone so I guess it's time to go push the dogs off my pillow and wake up my husband briefly and climb back into bed. Tomorrow is another day. In fact, since it's already Saturday, tomorrow is Sunday and by then the DI tournament will be OVER!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!
Pleasant Valley Mom, wondering if she can get away with visiting the Team Manager lounge this year and switching off with Hubby. He can visit it too if he likes.
I could work on it all night but it would never agree. This is why I hate Quicken and I hate to balance checkbooks. I am no accountant. I had a rough idea of what I had spent (about $110 to $120) and sure enough, one report says $107 and one says $116. So I'm pretty damn close in my head, and I haven't really overspent except for the color copies of the forms today (not part of or included in the budget but would you believe, over $59!!!) I sure hope I don't get audited, as they say. Although I think I am about as accurate as I can be at this point, and I even have receipts. Of course, part of the reason that I am trying to be accurate is so that my husband can write some of it off the taxes, since I always end up spending more of my personal money than my fair share when I do these things. It's one of the reasons I got out of Scouts--the recordkeeping was so burdensome and I always ended up out of pocket.
But I have just about had it with these oversheduled children and their parents! Some months ago I told everyone to totally block out March 6th for the TOURNAMENT because I didn't know for sure when we would be performing, etc. I also asked that the kids be present for the Instant Challenge Workshop where they all need to practice IC as a team, and for the dress rehearsal last Sunday. Well, in all cases (even tomorrow) someone can't be there or couldn't be there for the whole thing. The parents never tell me this until the last minute, as if I am going to argue with them or something. It really hacks me off. Now one little girl needs to go to soccer tomorrow, even though that means that the whole group will have to try to meet up with her mom in the middle of the day so she can go home. I wonder what other surprises are in store for me tomorrow. I sure hope they all show up at 7:30 am.
Now here's the thing about Destination Imagination: although there is a tournament and a competition, it's more about process than product. It's about teamwork and learning how to work together. It's very subjective (well most of it anyway) so you can't really predict how you will do. It's the Ice Dancing of the kids' activities world. Your goal should be do to your personal best. If you can do your personal best, then it is OK if you don't get the gold medal. You may be a bit disappointed but you shouldn't be disappointed if you don't win American Idol when you are next in line behind David Cook. But here's the trick--you get out of Destination Imagination what you put into it. You have fun and you get silly but you work and work and work on stuff. One of our backdrops took over 10 kid hours, and that was with two or three kids on it at all times. Some of the stuff they make can be incredibly involved. And they have all these grandiose ideas at the beginning, many of which turn out not to come to fruition, which is a shame but it's just DI. Sometimes the ideas you have are too grand for the budget and the time you have to complete them.
The other thing about DI that a lot of people don't get is that the kids do all the work. If the parents help or do it for them, it is interference and it's a penalty at the tournament. I am supposed to facilitate and generate ideas but not give them ideas. I am supposed to get them to do research and look at books and such. I am supposed to get them to learn by participating in workshops and trying things out. This year we learned how to make paper pulp and sculpt in clay, and we also learned that our clay puppet head just would not attach well to the body and was very heavy, so we spent a lot of time on a solution that got abandoned. But here again, this was process, not product. (And I also learned that you should never make paper pulp out of newspaper in your kitchen--the ink is a MESS! Finally had to borrow my friend Viv's dye pot--thank God for the SCA, where people who live in apartments own pots that you can use to make a big mess in.) The next time I'm at a thrift shop or CCA or something, I am looking for a big dye pot myself. Or I could always just keep borrowing someone else's dye pot.
So I'm tired of the constantly overscheduled kids. They don't get the full benefit when they don't participate. Now I could be a meanie like a soccer coach and say if you don't participate for a certain number of hours, you don't get to do X. My friend Cyndy who coaches a high level team that has been to Globals makes her kids sign in and out to see who is putting in the most time. She also told me not to let one girl participate in IC (instant challenge) since she missed the workshop for a drama thing at church. But you know, I'm not that big a hard ass. For one thing, the girl that missed is one of our most experienced team members and I WANT her in IC because she knows what she is doing. Also, the dress rehearsal for the church thing supposedly came up kind of last minute, and these things happen. Finally, her mom is very supportive of DI and is being an appraiser this year, a substantial time commitment. So no, I am not booting her out of IC, in part for political reasons, and except for this one thing, her attendance has been pretty good. But I do think that from now on I may make it a policy that if you miss the IC workshop you can't do IC with the team. Because we have a really good team and we could be great, but only with time and effort and commitment, just like a sports team. We have the brains--we need the focus and the unscheduled blocks of time. And that is the hardest thing of all to come by in our overstructured and overscheduled society.
My girls participate in Destination Imagination, which I coach, and Scouts. Because we do the SCA thing and the Ren Faire thing in the spring, we aren't in sports right now. The last time we tried it, it severely limited what we could do on Saturdays with our other activities. If my girls were really talented at sports it would be one thing, but they are small for their age and don't have a lot of sports aptitude. M was really good at soccer but when the field got larger and the girls got taller, they mowed over her (even her own teammates). She was a great ball handler but they just took it away from her (even her own teammates) and then missed the goal. I mean, M could score 6 goals in a game when the field was small, but she couldn't keep up with the running. And A in particular struggled with her asthma in the spring. They play in February around here and it was really cold this year, so I was glad that we were out of it. Plus, it looks like they are going to be around 5 feet tall IF we are lucky.
We have tried gymnastics and dance but with the ADHD they are both so distracted that it just becomes extended playtime. And dance gets really expensive with two girls, about $1000 a semester around here by the time you buy all the costumes and the shoes and pay for all the lessons. So I haven't done it. I got M a guitar for Christmas and I got A the small drumset from Target and I would like to get them into music, but not until DI is over. Plus they have Scouts and scout campouts and such, and it often conflicts even with DI (they are missing the Father Daughter Girl Scout Dance this year, unfortunately, because of this conflict). The DI state tournament, which we were going to go to and watch even if we didn't place high enough to go and perform, is here locally this year. Unfortunately it conflicts with the big Girl Scout campout. So if our team makes it to the State Tournament, we will have a big brouhaha about all of that, since five of our six team members are supposed to go on the campout.
(send me a note if you know how to spell that "brou ha ha" word, OK)??
I guess I am not feeling very amused right now. I am so tired of kids missing DI because of all of these other things that they are doing. The girl down the street has soccer, hockey, student council and jump rope team. And she's 9. Another girl I know who doesn't have time for DI does gymnastics 5 days a week. Another kid I know is in three sports. The Tae Kwon Do and Karate people do it 3-4 times a week. Plus in addition to the games there are bithday parties and family things, and so forth and so on. Two of the girls missed dress rehearsal, one because of a family thing that was important (90th birthday party of grandpa), but it would have been nice if she had told me in advance so I could have rescheduled. The other missed dress rehearsal because her family decided to take an impromptu vacation and forgot totally about it. So I had to schedule ANOTHER one, because with only 4 girls to do a skit that was intended for 6, the firs dress rehearsal was a total train wreck. We have it on tape. I am trying to read the parts of the other two girls and keep time. It's a mess.
We finally ALL practiced today and all I could think of was how much better this skit would have been if we had all practiced together Sunday or even before. But we couldn't get our props, including the giant Chinese Dragon Puppet, done in time to practice much before, plus it has been way too cold in the garage and because we live out here in Texas, we don't have a basement. In fact, we didn't even paint anything this year except a few chairs because it just wasn't warm enough most of the time to paint outside or in the garage. And we had several days where we had three of the six show up for work sessions (two of them being my kids, of course).
My daughters get a little frustrated because if there is anything that needs to be done in DI they end up having to do it. But I have explained that this actually benefits them, and that if they want me to coach they need to put in the extra time too. In fact, I do have one rule: they can't take unfinished stuff to tournament. If they scale back the original idea, that's fine--but they can't take a half finished backdrop or puppet or something to tournament. They must finish their props, costumes, etc. to take them. The items don't have to be perfect and some of them don't even have to be good but they do need to be DONE. Finish what you start.
I am not sure where all this overscheduling of 9 year olds will lead. I think it will lead to total burnout, and that some of these kids will decide not to go to college or will not want to do much with extracurriculars even in high school. Others will be so specialized by the time they are 12 that they won't have anything to fall back on if whatever their specialty is doesn't work out in the long run. I remember meeting kids at Target who weren't in college and had very little future, and in one case it was a gal who was a great soccer player but dropped it for political reasons after her junior year of high school. She did complete high school but she had nothing at all to fall back on and couldn't afford to go to school, got no soccer scholarship, and for all I know she is still folding towels in Domestics like I was. The difference being that I wanted to be there and make a little Christmas money and get away from 4 year old toddlers for a few hours, and for her it was a career.
Now those of you who know me from high school know that I was overscheduled, but I did this myself (not my parents). And I learned the hard way senior year that being the News Editor of the Paper and the Literary Magazine Editor and in NHS and Key Club and Latin Club and all of these other things--and I didn't do sports--was very difficult. It led to a lot of late nights and a lot of tears sometimes as I tried to balance schoolwork with all the writing and the other more academic interests. I was on the Certamen team (college bowl for Latin geeks). I flirted with chess club and debate team (or at least with the guys--my kind of guys!!!) I studied Mythology and took the exam at the Latin convention and was third in the state, two years running (see, always an also-ran). I was fourth in the class (again, always a bridesmaid, never the bride). I thought I was really hot shit, let me tell you.
When I got to college things were different. My parents wanted me in a sorority because I went to their college and that was the thing to do at William and Mary, so I was in a sorority, Kappa Alpha Theta. Not really my thing, being around all those women with all their hormones, but there were some good experiences that came out of there and I learned a lot about "corporate" leadership skills, although unfortunately since there were no men involved it wasn't very realistic. But a sorority is generally very well run from a business perspective--a sorority is a little on campus business. They are in the business of self promotion so they are always reminding you when to wear your pin (and when not to, like when you are drunk). On Mondays we were supposed to dress up (plaid kilts and sweaters and clogs, really!) and wear our pins because that was Meeting Day. On Fridays it was Jersey Day and you wore your Kappa Alpha Theta black and gold jersey but not your pin. Because on Friday you just might go out and party or something in college. Go figure. Anyway, other than Theta and studying with my graduate student boyfriend (who took me to the library every night from after dinner until 10 pm, and I am not kidding), the only other activity I had was literary magazine, where I was a mere staffer for three years. I didn't have time to write for the college paper; I tried but it was too much like an unpaid job. I was spending the rest of my time either studying my ass off at William and Mary or having sex. Seriously. And the studying was much more prolific than the sex too. No wonder I made Phi Beta Kappa ahead of my much brighter friend Rise, and got nearly straight A's, was 12th in the class, and went on to a bright future at UVA Law School. Hopefully you can read between the lines and catch a bit of the sarcasm here because I'm not trying to brag. I really did do all these things, but it turned out that law wasn't exactly what it was cracked up to be for me, although that's a whole different essay.
The point is that I didn't burn myself out with activities in college because I learned my lesson in high school. College was harder than high school so I concentrated on my studies. It paid off. In law school, my extracurriculars (other than sex of course) were the Journal of Law and Politics (ironic since I don't really follow politics much but this journal specialized in things like election law, which I find fascinating, and had people of both political parties involved in it), and Moot Court, which I only did briefly because my partner was a lovely woman and a space cadet with a huge brain but very little common sense. She had the longest hair I've ever seen and she would have LOVED the SCA. She was very bright but she was a bigger pointy headed geek than even me, and she struggled with appellate argument although this would have been a good place for her in the legal world. I wish I knew what happened to her--I miss her. Maybe she is on FB. Anyway, between me and my partner, with whom I was probably very well-matched, we just weren't practical enough and just didn't have enough of that killer instinct, so we didn't advance beyond the first round. My boyfriend at the time went on to the final round of Moot Court--he wouldn't be partners with me though because he didn't think I was smart enough and after all, I was only a woman. I didn't realize until I got to law school how sexist life out there could be, at least in the 1980's--I had been sheltered by sorority life, I guess.
My favorite part of law school was my trial practice class, where we got to do a criminal defense case and I put panty hose over my head at closing argument. It was a lot of fun, even though I got reamed by the judge ( a REAL judge in real life) becuase of course I couldn't have gotten away with that in a real trial. But it got a laugh out of the jury and we won our case. That's me, Liz Wilson, Comedy Trial Lawyer. Not that I ever really wanted to do criminal defense work (corporate defense work being so much more on the morally high ground, you know), but I sure did enjoy that trial!!!
Well, I should really go to bed because I have a 14 hour day tomorrow with six (well, now it may be down to 5) 10 year olds and I suppose I need some sleep. And my Earl Gray Lady tea and Samoas are gone so I guess it's time to go push the dogs off my pillow and wake up my husband briefly and climb back into bed. Tomorrow is another day. In fact, since it's already Saturday, tomorrow is Sunday and by then the DI tournament will be OVER!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!
Pleasant Valley Mom, wondering if she can get away with visiting the Team Manager lounge this year and switching off with Hubby. He can visit it too if he likes.
Monday, March 1, 2010
The Great Lemon Chalet Cookie Recall
Well, it's Girl Scout Cookie time again, and I am steamed. This year, some of the Little Brownie Bakery Lemon Chalet cookies have been recalled, not for safety issues but because some of them "tasted funny." It seems they used some rancid coconut oil or something in the baking process. This won't make you sick but rancid oil is not pleasant. I should know; I've accidentally cooked with rancid cooking oil before and actually SERVED the food before I realized. Fortunately the people that ate it thought it was marvelous and wanted to know how I got that unusual flavor. I ate some after the party to try to figure out what they were talking about and, EEWWW! So I never cook with oid now without checking it first, even though I don't think I got caught that time.
Well, they have recalled about 10 different lot numbers and it affects only 6.5 % of the LCC's (that's Girl Scout for Lemon Chalet Creme) nationwide. But of course MINE are all in one of the affected lot numbers and I suspect it's the same with my whole troop. So now I have to turn them all in (which amounts to close to 2 cases, or $84 worth) and get replacement cookies. The problem with this is that one of my big deliveries is tonight. The girls are going with us to the SCA business meeting and we are delivering about four or five cases of cookies (the SCA people are very generous and many are former scouts, so we have sold a good many to them). About four or five boxes of the LCCs are for the SCA people, so I won't be able to give them theirs and will have to either substitute something or get up with them later. Unfortunately I don't see some of these folks every month, so I expect I will be spending quite a lot in gas to put this right.
I have actually eaten (well, not me personally but my family, which means me in large part) two boxes of the LCCs and they were fine. Not as good as I remembered (and a customer who already ate hers says the same thing) but not rancid by any means. I would know the taste of rancid oil, seriously. Of course, without opening them I can't tell you about the other boxes I have.
Well, I have two boxes that belong to someone down the street who is a former leader on top of it. We made two attempts to deliver, IN uniform and on one attempt someone looked out the blinds (I saw the fingers) and did not open the door. It looked like a woman's hand, not a teen or kid. I also called and left a message and heard nothing, not even "I don't want them any more." Now they are recalled so I am trying to just return those. I can always fill the order out of my replacements IF I can even get the lady to take them, but it really ticks me off. We are on the hook for $7 of those cookies because they pre-ordered them. Not the troop, not the council--us personally. And this is one of our neighbors and former leaders. I know people are broke but really, can't she find a way to come up with $7 dollars? I would wait until payday, I really would. What is going on is: (1) someone ordered them without her permission and they don't need them but she doesn't want to tell us that; (2) they can't afford them because they are much harder up financially than anyone knows, but she doesn't want to tell us that either. Believe me, I am not very happy with her right now. If she would just call us back and tell us it was a mistake and they don't want them, or make up some reason like the recent recall, I would be fine with it. Just call us and tell us what to to with your frigging cookies!!! [Are we allowed to use this word on Blog.spot.com????]
One year we sold door to door in a neighborhood and sold about 60 boxes. When we went to deliver, there were at least 14 boxes that we could not deliver. One guy ordered 6 and then told us to come back later. We came back twice and no one was home. Two gave us numbers that turned out to be bad; one moved. Anyway, 14 boxes was more than a case, or about $47 worth. We were able to roll these over into a booth sale and sell them but I was really ticked off and I said that we would not sell door to door again unless it was on our street. But every year even on our street we have one "problem customer" who either doesn't pay or we can't get ahold of them or we have to make about 6 attempts. This year we only did part of the street, 6 houses and we STILL have one.
Lately the girls and I are selling most of our cookies to people in the SCA or at ALL Con. This is a convention for science fiction and fantasy fans, and the SCA is kindly allowing us to participate as part of our demo booth and sell cookies. We will probably sell over 100 boxes here if we do it for three or four hours. At least I hope so. The economy was bad last year and at regular booth sales we were selling maybe 20 per hour or 60 per door (like at a grocery store or something). At All Con we could sell 60 in about an hour and a half, even though they didn't sell as well as when the economy was good. This year the economy is worse though. I sure hope we can sell them, including the LCCs.
Recalls are funny. Last year there was a peanut butter recall that didn't affect the GS cookies (in that none were recalled). However, the people in the Western councils who sold earlier got stuck with a lot of Tagalongs and Do Si Dos due to the recall. Now I told my cookie mom to go light on the Do Si Dos and get the Tagalongs because the young singles and college students love those and they don't care much about recalls. We ended up overstocked on Tags and short on Do Si Dos. But a woman from Amarillo told me at All Con that she could have traded me cases of Do Si Dos for some Thin Mints because she was STILL overstocked on those!
On top of everthing, the cookie mom wants the money on March 10 and All Con is not until March 13. She doesn't really have to pay Council until the end of the month; she just wants to wind it up before Spring Break. I don't really know what to do. The cookies I need to pay her for cost over $800 (cash and checks only) and I just won't have all of that until we finish selling cookies at All Con. I can give her what I have (although I would like to keep some of the change back), but I can't give her money I don't have. I didn't know about this when I ordered the cookies or made the plans to sell at All Con so I am really in the soup right now. The other leader is going to talk to her and I can pay the other leader that evening after All Con (because I don't want the money in my house over Spring Break or in my bank account--I just want to turn it over so it doesn't accidentally get spent or something). I am not a happy camper right now. I am supposed to work the March 8 booth sale so I am hoping that if the troop doesn't have much in the way of cookies left to sell, maybe I can sell some of the personal ones there and just not have too many for All Con. They didn't sell well at my husband's office this year either. Everyone is just broke right now.
Well, now we have a recall. They are going to replace the cookies. But my question is, what if they still won't sell after the recall? I really don't want to be purchasing two cases of LCCs. I like them and everything but I don't need 24 boxes of them. That means that I will have to sell all my personal cookies instead to pay for the LCCs that I am getting stuck with.
Fortunately I still have plenty of Thin Mints. Liquid gold. I never met a thin mint I didn't like. They sell like hotcakes. They sell themselves. I have been way overstocked on them every year because I always go heavy on them (they can be easily traded to other troops for the other varieties which is why I do this). I have NEVER had any left over. Even Samoas, which are wonderful and sell well, sometimes sell slowly, but never the Thin Mints.
So wish me luck! If you want to buy some cookies and keep me from being in trouble with my cookie mom let me know. They offered me this job and I should have taken it because then I would control the payments and deposits and I wouldn't be in the soup like this. Just couldn't handle it with DI and Thinking Day and Gulf War and such all happening within the same three week period. My life is already a mess.
But I am really pissed off at Little Brownie Bakers this year for using the rancid oil. The Fort Worth Council, which uses another baker and sells a BETTER variety of lemon cookie, doesn't have this issue. Maybe it's time to move to Arlington.
Wish me luck on my crown today. My appointment is in 30 minutes and I still need to shower. I'm in denial. My husband was supposed to take me because of my dental fears but he had to go in to the office because his laptop wasn't working right and I have a really bad feeling that I will be trying to drive myself home in the rain by myself from this appointment, feeling really awful, and have an accident or something. It's not really that far like the root canal appointment but I am a terrible driver in the rain especially when I am all shaken up by something. And I sure hope his damn flexible spending card works today because I know I don't need THAT hassle either.
So I am really not a happy camper, just a neglected dental phobic today. Maybe I should just conveniently forget the appointment and reschedule for a different day. Seriously thinking about it.
Ok, after a brief delay I'm back. I did indeed cancel the appointment and reschedule for Weds. morning. My husband has to be here that day because we have to take Amelia for another endocrinology appointment on Weds after school (4:30 appointment downtown) and we have to deliver some GS cookies to an SCA person who is ill right now and can't come to business meeting.
Now that the appointment is cancelled I have gone back to what else I am doing today (making chicken soup with homemade stock, getting the most out of my $5 Wally World Chicken). Seriously, I bought a whole chicken for under $5 at Wally World and roasted it. We ate dinner and I ate at least two lunches, and my husband ate a lunch from this chicken (it was big and took about 90 minutes or so to roast). Then I made stock this morning from the carcass (four 750 ml containers). I used one, unstrained, for the soup today with the chicken pieces peeled from the carcass, which also would have made a nice dog snack (you can't give chicken bones to dogs; they splinter). Anyway, now I am making veggie/chicken soup with about $8 of veggies from Wally World and one container of chicken stock and some water, and I am boiling some pasta to put in it too so it will be chicken soup with noodles (so maybe the kids will eat it and some vegetables). My whole house smells yummy. I hope to go watch the exhibition ice skating which is taped from Sat (while I was cropping) and do some Gulf War sewing in my pjs and take a shower about 2 pm. Sounds like a great day here in Pleasant Valley instead of a dreaded dental day.
I think I also would like to curl up on the bed with the Arabian Nights to see if I can find an appropriate story for the kids to dramatize at Warlord. Oh, some days when I am here all by myself with just my computer and my kitchen and my stuff, I am as happy as a clam! Especially if I can put all that damn Cookie Mess out of my head. See, I really am not a frustrated former lawyer, but a domestic goddess.
Since I cancelled my dental appointment, now I don't have to go to Scouts and Business Meeting all doped up (good idea since the moms are supposed to handle the cookie money) and I can enjoy the mediterranean buffet at Dimassi's (folks in the DFW area, this is an all you can eat buffet for $12 and it is delicious. I do hope they charge less for the small fry though, because I really don't want us to pay $48 for dinner tonight).
Pleasant Valley Mom, thinking of relocating to Arlington for the Girl Scout Council and looking forward to a few blissful hours in front of the ice skating show, if I can forward past all the damned skiing.
Well, they have recalled about 10 different lot numbers and it affects only 6.5 % of the LCC's (that's Girl Scout for Lemon Chalet Creme) nationwide. But of course MINE are all in one of the affected lot numbers and I suspect it's the same with my whole troop. So now I have to turn them all in (which amounts to close to 2 cases, or $84 worth) and get replacement cookies. The problem with this is that one of my big deliveries is tonight. The girls are going with us to the SCA business meeting and we are delivering about four or five cases of cookies (the SCA people are very generous and many are former scouts, so we have sold a good many to them). About four or five boxes of the LCCs are for the SCA people, so I won't be able to give them theirs and will have to either substitute something or get up with them later. Unfortunately I don't see some of these folks every month, so I expect I will be spending quite a lot in gas to put this right.
I have actually eaten (well, not me personally but my family, which means me in large part) two boxes of the LCCs and they were fine. Not as good as I remembered (and a customer who already ate hers says the same thing) but not rancid by any means. I would know the taste of rancid oil, seriously. Of course, without opening them I can't tell you about the other boxes I have.
Well, I have two boxes that belong to someone down the street who is a former leader on top of it. We made two attempts to deliver, IN uniform and on one attempt someone looked out the blinds (I saw the fingers) and did not open the door. It looked like a woman's hand, not a teen or kid. I also called and left a message and heard nothing, not even "I don't want them any more." Now they are recalled so I am trying to just return those. I can always fill the order out of my replacements IF I can even get the lady to take them, but it really ticks me off. We are on the hook for $7 of those cookies because they pre-ordered them. Not the troop, not the council--us personally. And this is one of our neighbors and former leaders. I know people are broke but really, can't she find a way to come up with $7 dollars? I would wait until payday, I really would. What is going on is: (1) someone ordered them without her permission and they don't need them but she doesn't want to tell us that; (2) they can't afford them because they are much harder up financially than anyone knows, but she doesn't want to tell us that either. Believe me, I am not very happy with her right now. If she would just call us back and tell us it was a mistake and they don't want them, or make up some reason like the recent recall, I would be fine with it. Just call us and tell us what to to with your frigging cookies!!! [Are we allowed to use this word on Blog.spot.com????]
One year we sold door to door in a neighborhood and sold about 60 boxes. When we went to deliver, there were at least 14 boxes that we could not deliver. One guy ordered 6 and then told us to come back later. We came back twice and no one was home. Two gave us numbers that turned out to be bad; one moved. Anyway, 14 boxes was more than a case, or about $47 worth. We were able to roll these over into a booth sale and sell them but I was really ticked off and I said that we would not sell door to door again unless it was on our street. But every year even on our street we have one "problem customer" who either doesn't pay or we can't get ahold of them or we have to make about 6 attempts. This year we only did part of the street, 6 houses and we STILL have one.
Lately the girls and I are selling most of our cookies to people in the SCA or at ALL Con. This is a convention for science fiction and fantasy fans, and the SCA is kindly allowing us to participate as part of our demo booth and sell cookies. We will probably sell over 100 boxes here if we do it for three or four hours. At least I hope so. The economy was bad last year and at regular booth sales we were selling maybe 20 per hour or 60 per door (like at a grocery store or something). At All Con we could sell 60 in about an hour and a half, even though they didn't sell as well as when the economy was good. This year the economy is worse though. I sure hope we can sell them, including the LCCs.
Recalls are funny. Last year there was a peanut butter recall that didn't affect the GS cookies (in that none were recalled). However, the people in the Western councils who sold earlier got stuck with a lot of Tagalongs and Do Si Dos due to the recall. Now I told my cookie mom to go light on the Do Si Dos and get the Tagalongs because the young singles and college students love those and they don't care much about recalls. We ended up overstocked on Tags and short on Do Si Dos. But a woman from Amarillo told me at All Con that she could have traded me cases of Do Si Dos for some Thin Mints because she was STILL overstocked on those!
On top of everthing, the cookie mom wants the money on March 10 and All Con is not until March 13. She doesn't really have to pay Council until the end of the month; she just wants to wind it up before Spring Break. I don't really know what to do. The cookies I need to pay her for cost over $800 (cash and checks only) and I just won't have all of that until we finish selling cookies at All Con. I can give her what I have (although I would like to keep some of the change back), but I can't give her money I don't have. I didn't know about this when I ordered the cookies or made the plans to sell at All Con so I am really in the soup right now. The other leader is going to talk to her and I can pay the other leader that evening after All Con (because I don't want the money in my house over Spring Break or in my bank account--I just want to turn it over so it doesn't accidentally get spent or something). I am not a happy camper right now. I am supposed to work the March 8 booth sale so I am hoping that if the troop doesn't have much in the way of cookies left to sell, maybe I can sell some of the personal ones there and just not have too many for All Con. They didn't sell well at my husband's office this year either. Everyone is just broke right now.
Well, now we have a recall. They are going to replace the cookies. But my question is, what if they still won't sell after the recall? I really don't want to be purchasing two cases of LCCs. I like them and everything but I don't need 24 boxes of them. That means that I will have to sell all my personal cookies instead to pay for the LCCs that I am getting stuck with.
Fortunately I still have plenty of Thin Mints. Liquid gold. I never met a thin mint I didn't like. They sell like hotcakes. They sell themselves. I have been way overstocked on them every year because I always go heavy on them (they can be easily traded to other troops for the other varieties which is why I do this). I have NEVER had any left over. Even Samoas, which are wonderful and sell well, sometimes sell slowly, but never the Thin Mints.
So wish me luck! If you want to buy some cookies and keep me from being in trouble with my cookie mom let me know. They offered me this job and I should have taken it because then I would control the payments and deposits and I wouldn't be in the soup like this. Just couldn't handle it with DI and Thinking Day and Gulf War and such all happening within the same three week period. My life is already a mess.
But I am really pissed off at Little Brownie Bakers this year for using the rancid oil. The Fort Worth Council, which uses another baker and sells a BETTER variety of lemon cookie, doesn't have this issue. Maybe it's time to move to Arlington.
Wish me luck on my crown today. My appointment is in 30 minutes and I still need to shower. I'm in denial. My husband was supposed to take me because of my dental fears but he had to go in to the office because his laptop wasn't working right and I have a really bad feeling that I will be trying to drive myself home in the rain by myself from this appointment, feeling really awful, and have an accident or something. It's not really that far like the root canal appointment but I am a terrible driver in the rain especially when I am all shaken up by something. And I sure hope his damn flexible spending card works today because I know I don't need THAT hassle either.
So I am really not a happy camper, just a neglected dental phobic today. Maybe I should just conveniently forget the appointment and reschedule for a different day. Seriously thinking about it.
Ok, after a brief delay I'm back. I did indeed cancel the appointment and reschedule for Weds. morning. My husband has to be here that day because we have to take Amelia for another endocrinology appointment on Weds after school (4:30 appointment downtown) and we have to deliver some GS cookies to an SCA person who is ill right now and can't come to business meeting.
Now that the appointment is cancelled I have gone back to what else I am doing today (making chicken soup with homemade stock, getting the most out of my $5 Wally World Chicken). Seriously, I bought a whole chicken for under $5 at Wally World and roasted it. We ate dinner and I ate at least two lunches, and my husband ate a lunch from this chicken (it was big and took about 90 minutes or so to roast). Then I made stock this morning from the carcass (four 750 ml containers). I used one, unstrained, for the soup today with the chicken pieces peeled from the carcass, which also would have made a nice dog snack (you can't give chicken bones to dogs; they splinter). Anyway, now I am making veggie/chicken soup with about $8 of veggies from Wally World and one container of chicken stock and some water, and I am boiling some pasta to put in it too so it will be chicken soup with noodles (so maybe the kids will eat it and some vegetables). My whole house smells yummy. I hope to go watch the exhibition ice skating which is taped from Sat (while I was cropping) and do some Gulf War sewing in my pjs and take a shower about 2 pm. Sounds like a great day here in Pleasant Valley instead of a dreaded dental day.
I think I also would like to curl up on the bed with the Arabian Nights to see if I can find an appropriate story for the kids to dramatize at Warlord. Oh, some days when I am here all by myself with just my computer and my kitchen and my stuff, I am as happy as a clam! Especially if I can put all that damn Cookie Mess out of my head. See, I really am not a frustrated former lawyer, but a domestic goddess.
Since I cancelled my dental appointment, now I don't have to go to Scouts and Business Meeting all doped up (good idea since the moms are supposed to handle the cookie money) and I can enjoy the mediterranean buffet at Dimassi's (folks in the DFW area, this is an all you can eat buffet for $12 and it is delicious. I do hope they charge less for the small fry though, because I really don't want us to pay $48 for dinner tonight).
Pleasant Valley Mom, thinking of relocating to Arlington for the Girl Scout Council and looking forward to a few blissful hours in front of the ice skating show, if I can forward past all the damned skiing.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Scrapbooking--What's It All About and Why Do It?
Yes, I am a major league scrapbooker. This is a mom thing that I do that is fairly conventional, although of course not all scrapbookers are moms. I have been an official "scrapbooker" since my kids were about 7 or 8 months old and I bought my first Creative Memories supplies. However, I have really been a scrapbooker all my life; I just didn't know it. I don't have a lot of scrapbooks from high school or college, but I do have some things that have been gathered and stand the test of time. And I'm certainly a packrat--how many of you have your program from your high school graduation, including all the names?
Lucille Ball was actually a major league scrapbooker in the days before we had acid free paper and pvc-free page protectors and before we talked about "adhesives" instead of "glue." She saved everything, and put it into detailed scrapbooks, particularly after she married Desi Arnez and before they had children. They were Childless for the first ten years of their marriage (or Childfree, the politically correct term that we used to use in RESOLVE because you aren't "less" just because you don't have children, kind of like being "differently abled.")
I don't know why they were Childfree in those days before Birth Control and Infertility Treatment and I haven't seen her biography on A & E in a long time so I don't remember if this is explained, but it doesn't really matter. They eventually had Lucy Arnez and Desi Arnez Junior, and there is a wealth of material, photographs, programs, etc. about their early life together and the founding of their production company Desilu. Now you may not care too much about "I Love Lucy" or think it's kind of silly, but you must admit that this show is an iconic part of television history. So it's great to have all of this old material and I think it gives us a much more accurate picture of Lucille Ball.
Now I'm not famous like Lucille Ball and I don't aspire to be. In fact, my daughter Miranda told me today that she wants to be rich but not famous because if you are famous "no one will leave you alone." Even the kids in her class have realized that being a celebrity, especially in this paparazzi and Internet and instant Twittering age, is not all it was once cracked up to be. Make a few little mistakes in your personal life like Tiger Woods--one little fender bender in your driveway at 2 am--and the whole sordid story of your marital infidelity is plastered all over the grocery store. No thank you. I don't think any of us are perfect enough to live up to media scrutiny for long.
So, why scrapbook? Why do I collect all these pictures of my kids as babies and in their Halloween costumes and such? I also have scrapbooks of our vacations and scrapbooks of Scarborough Faire. If I can ever decide how to approach the project I will eventually have some SCA scrapbooks (it's hard because there are so many events and my camera is just not very good for taking pictures at them, plus I get so busy that I forget. Others take wonderful pictures but I don't necessarily know all the people in the pictures).
After all, my kids don't look at the scrapbooks very often, and my husband NEVER looks. They used to be interested when I got back from cropping but I've done it so often now that they don't even care. I think that they have come to accept that it is a mom getaway and it's more constructive than BUNCO. R also was pleased when I first started doing it because it wasn't nearly as expensive as my collecting hobbies, although of course that was before they invented $50 Cricut Cartridges. Little does he know.
And I do indeed have tons of supplies. And I am not the worst, although I probably had the most at the crop today (and was missing a bunch of stuff, which is what happens when you don't repack your stuff after a weekend retreat). There was a lady there tonight who wanted to leave early so that she could run by Hobby Lobby to get some embellishments that another lady had at the crop. I said, 'are you really going to use those by Monday, or can it wait until Monday?' She said she wasn't going to use them but she doesn't shop during the week, so she HAD to get them TONIGHT! They might be gone by next weekend.
Now an embellishment, for the non scrapbookers out there, is a sticker or three-dimentional sticker or some sort of page decoration (for example, silk flowers or heart stickers or three dimenstional cheerleading jerseys or something of that nature). It goes with some pictures that you either have in your possession or that you know you took at some time in some year. And you have to get it NOW because when you finally get ready to scrapbook those pictures and you want a three-D red cheerleading jersey to go with them, you won't be able to find one. I am really not kidding about this. I know you men out there think I am, but I am deadly serious. Get your embellishments while you can. Gather ye rosebuds while ye may.
Robert Herrick would have made a great scrapbooker.
Now there are men who scrapbook but not very many. It's a chick thing. Of course some of it amounts to catching up with your friends and social networking, and sometimes it gets annoying when people start bragging on their kids or their trips to Bermuda or their new pools. So that's when you put on your Ipod, only I can't find that right now either.
The real point of it is to preserve your family heritage and your family history. For example, you put pictures of your child blowing out birthday candles in a high chair on a page or a 2 page spread (I always work in 2 page spreads but that's all the yearbook and newspaper training). You color coordinate the paper and embellishments (for this spread you need baby and birthday stuff, which is usually in bright colors like gold, red and turquoise for Disney Pooh or pastels for Classic Pooh. Pooh is a popular and unisex theme for first birthdays and we actually had a Disney Pooh birthday for the girls, not knowing we were being so conventional). Anyway, you cut the pictures and mat them and put them on great looking paper and add embellishments and journaling. Crop, Mount, Journal, Embellish, although a lot of us journal later or at home since that's the hard part for most people. Of course, I can write a paragraph and carry on a conversation at the same time, but I still add my journaling last. Don't know why but I just can't get around to describing what is going on until I know what the pages are going to look like and how much room I have. When I type up a bunch of narration in advance for a project, which I do for vacations in particular, the journaling ends up all through the book like a travelogue and it doesn't go with the pictures at all.
So, back to the Baby Pages. You write some trite little copy like: "Miranda enjoys blowing out her candles at her first birthday party! The Theme was Winnie the Pooh and Grandma made the awesome cake!"
Of course, you can imagine that I don't always write it quite like that. But sometimes I do when I am in a hurry and I am feeling lazy. You can write really profound copy if you try, however. Scrapbooking magazines mostly exist to sell paper, embellishments, and other products, but I have seen spreads and narration on suicide, cancer, post-partum depression, and a whole host of things that I don't really want to scrapbook. I actually don't want to write the really introspective stuff because it would be like this blog: I would start and go and go and go like the Energizer bunny. I have difficulty stopping. And I think that the blog is a better format for writing these introspective things anyway. Also, scrapbooking is history. Real, living history that is photo-based. The journaling is mostly important for the context of the photos, and for most of us, there is not enough space on a 12 x 12 page to put photos, embellishments, and lots of intropection; not unless we are using one photo per page like in the magazines. So we scrapbookers are somewhat shallow because we love playing with all the pretty paper and embellishments, and while the journaling is important, it is actually not the central focus. Creative Memories acts like it should be the central focus and they are probably right, but it's just not. Especially since most people can't write their way out of a paper bag, but even people like me are saying "what an awesome first birthday cake!!!" (GAG). It's true that sometimes I read these books and I do just want to gag ("Oh, _____, you are the sweetest little girl when you yawn.") I am sorry, but I can only go so far into Pleasant Valley Momdom--even I am not quite that shallow or sappy, even about my kids whom I adore.
Now I'm not saying that my kids' birthdays or your kids' bar mitzvahs or the Prom of 2010 is all that interesting in particular, but it is in fact living history. If you look at the pictures, you learn a lot about furniture, clothing styles, and values of the people who took them. All the focus on kid-oriented scrapbooking since the late 1990's says something interesting about our socieity: how kid focused we have become and how that affects what is important to us.
Of course, not everyone scrapbooks kids. My friend Patty and her husband Buzz just went on a cruise, and so she is scrapbooking that (Travel and Heritage are popular topics). She and Buzz don't have children but they have a lot of friends at their church, so she also scrapbooks church events, sometimes for herself and sometimes for the church (such as a welcome book for a new minister to help him meet people, or a farewell book as a gift for a minister who is transferring to another assignment). Her books also showcase old photos from her childhood (heritage) and tell us a lot about life in the 1970s and on, as well as about different locations.
Some people even scrapbook collections or hobbies, such as taking pictures of all the quilts they make for a scrapbook. This is because sometimes quilts are sold or given away, and the same sometimes holds true with other collectibles. Some of the different types of themes you can find in a scrapbook that is family oriented are: family yearbook, vacation, seasons, holidays, baby boy, baby girl, toddler, preschool, school days (elementary), middle school, high school (graduation, driving and prom), college,special activities such as dance, soccer, or even destination imagaination. You can scrapbook birthdays and times when you went to various places. You can be introspective and scrapbook the REAL truth about what is going on in your life (I don't do this because I don't always want my kids to read it). I even did a scrapbook as part of a Bible Study one time. We took the Proverbs verses about the virtuous wife who is more precious than diamonds, and scrapbooked how we fit in with or did not fit in with a more modern understanding of the Bible verse. You can do "faithbooking"--scrapbook pictures and use your bible to illustrate the pictures with biblical quotes.
It sounds like a lot of work and it is. It is more work than Golf. I can spend days doing this. I think I could even spend a week doing it but I'm not sure. Because when I do it, I am pretty intense usually. I am one of those annoying people who goes to retreats and gets 50 pages (or a whole large book) done. Of course, this only happens if I put in a number of hours on the front end getting ready for a retreat. If I get shortchanged like last time on my prep time, then I only get about 20 or 30 pages done at Retreat. Today I spent some more time putting together little snowman paper dolls, which has nothing to do with historic preservation but it sure takes your mind off your troubles.
And of course there is the shopping. There is a lot of purchasing products, looking on the Internet, checking out ebay, blogging about scrapbooking, doing yahoo groups on how to use the Cricut, etc. I've never gotten into this much--I'd rather do it than talk about it (kind of like sex). And there is a limit to how much shopping one can do on my budget, and I still can spend money in an extremely fast fashion (because when I was an attorney there was no time to shop, so I am a ruthlessly efficient shopper).
Some people have fancy bags or ribbon holders, or boxes for embellishments. I even have a cool box for the lucite blocks that I use for stamps. And if there was a fire, and the kids and the pets and the husband were OK, I want the photos and completed books first but I want all my supplies second. You can't get into heaven if you don't finish your scrapbooks! She who dies with the most supplies wins. I Scrapbook and there's nothing my husband can do about it. Camp Crop A lot. Eat, Sleep, Scrap. These are real t shirts, folks! It's a national obsession. The economy has hurt it some, of course, but people have always tried to do it cheaply on one hand, and lavishly on the other. Here, let me get a Cricut machine for $300 and some cartridges and I won't need to buy those expensive $4 embellishments. I can make my own. And I can make cards, and cut sheet vinyl, and all kinds of other cool things too.....in my spare time.
And there's the rub. There just isn't any spare time, especially around a house like mine. So we ladies buy all this stuff and then we haul it places for a few hours so we can get out of the house and crop. Some people do work at home on it but it is difficult to make it a regular habit. There is laundry, cooking, homework, cleaning, and activities and jobs that always get in the way.
But I think in the long run we are performing a valuable service, we historians with acid free adhesive and pvc free page protectors. We are preserving our own family memories for our children, but we are doing more than that. Some of these scrapbook pages will end up in the Smithsonian one day to show what live was like in these times. People don't write letters any more, just email, and I don't know how much email will be permanently archived. Phone calls aren't usually recorded (unless the FBI or police is involved or something else weird is going on). The scrapbooks, especially the regular old paper scrapbooks and not the digital ones on the pc, have the potential to represent our historical period.
Looking back on the ones that are 5 to 10 to 30 years old is the most important. I did a very small scrapbook with pictures from my grandmother's life one time. It starts about 1903 with a family portrait. Some of my pictures were color copies and were not that good, and I didn't have much from some periods of my grandmother's ife. My mom and I wrote the copy for it and she added stuff in later, so there are two different handwritings in it. It's not very fancy in terms of embellishments or paper used as it was one of my earlier ones. However, my grandmother looked at it before she died and though she had dementia, it did jog her memory ("I Had a photo just like this one !" she supposedly said--of course, it was a copy of her photo all along). When she passed away at age 99 a few years ago the first thing my mom wanted was for me to bring the scrapbook homs so it could be used in Nana's memorial service.
Once people are gone the photos are all we have left. I took photos at my nephew Will's wedding back in about 1995 or 1996. I have pictures of him with his grandparents the Naglys (now both deceased). I have pictures of Robert's Aunt Ruby and Uncle Arvelle (now both deceased). I have pictures of his Aunt Maurine, who is still very much alive and kicking, and Uncle Archie (he passed away this year). If I hadn't take these pictures and put them in a scrapbook, I don't know who would have done this and we would not have any semi-recent pictures of these people from our family.
There's a Lyle Lovett song: "We're all gonna be here forever. So Mama, don't you make such a stir. Put down that camera, and come on and join us, the last of the family reserve." It's about all the people in the family who pass away over time and how we don't realize it but our families are constantly changing over the years, and sometimes people who have passed on get forgotten.
So keep that in mind next time you want to throw out photos. At least label them and add some notes on the back (use a photo labelling pencil and not a ball--point pen or marker, which can soak through and also get on the fronts of other phtoos). If you have boxes, take a box a month and put some notes on the back for future generations. I am not saying that you need to scrapbook because if you aren't doing it already, you would have to give up something else in order to do it. And I am getting farther and farther behind because the SCA is now encroaching on my cropping life--somehow I need to find a way to do both and still deal with the day to day business of life.
But I hope that my hours and hours at this task will not be in vain. I know, I should be writing a novel or something, but then I can't play with the pretty paper!!
Pleasant Valley Mom, wanting to get back to the scrapbooking table and knowning that she really can't today
Lucille Ball was actually a major league scrapbooker in the days before we had acid free paper and pvc-free page protectors and before we talked about "adhesives" instead of "glue." She saved everything, and put it into detailed scrapbooks, particularly after she married Desi Arnez and before they had children. They were Childless for the first ten years of their marriage (or Childfree, the politically correct term that we used to use in RESOLVE because you aren't "less" just because you don't have children, kind of like being "differently abled.")
I don't know why they were Childfree in those days before Birth Control and Infertility Treatment and I haven't seen her biography on A & E in a long time so I don't remember if this is explained, but it doesn't really matter. They eventually had Lucy Arnez and Desi Arnez Junior, and there is a wealth of material, photographs, programs, etc. about their early life together and the founding of their production company Desilu. Now you may not care too much about "I Love Lucy" or think it's kind of silly, but you must admit that this show is an iconic part of television history. So it's great to have all of this old material and I think it gives us a much more accurate picture of Lucille Ball.
Now I'm not famous like Lucille Ball and I don't aspire to be. In fact, my daughter Miranda told me today that she wants to be rich but not famous because if you are famous "no one will leave you alone." Even the kids in her class have realized that being a celebrity, especially in this paparazzi and Internet and instant Twittering age, is not all it was once cracked up to be. Make a few little mistakes in your personal life like Tiger Woods--one little fender bender in your driveway at 2 am--and the whole sordid story of your marital infidelity is plastered all over the grocery store. No thank you. I don't think any of us are perfect enough to live up to media scrutiny for long.
So, why scrapbook? Why do I collect all these pictures of my kids as babies and in their Halloween costumes and such? I also have scrapbooks of our vacations and scrapbooks of Scarborough Faire. If I can ever decide how to approach the project I will eventually have some SCA scrapbooks (it's hard because there are so many events and my camera is just not very good for taking pictures at them, plus I get so busy that I forget. Others take wonderful pictures but I don't necessarily know all the people in the pictures).
After all, my kids don't look at the scrapbooks very often, and my husband NEVER looks. They used to be interested when I got back from cropping but I've done it so often now that they don't even care. I think that they have come to accept that it is a mom getaway and it's more constructive than BUNCO. R also was pleased when I first started doing it because it wasn't nearly as expensive as my collecting hobbies, although of course that was before they invented $50 Cricut Cartridges. Little does he know.
And I do indeed have tons of supplies. And I am not the worst, although I probably had the most at the crop today (and was missing a bunch of stuff, which is what happens when you don't repack your stuff after a weekend retreat). There was a lady there tonight who wanted to leave early so that she could run by Hobby Lobby to get some embellishments that another lady had at the crop. I said, 'are you really going to use those by Monday, or can it wait until Monday?' She said she wasn't going to use them but she doesn't shop during the week, so she HAD to get them TONIGHT! They might be gone by next weekend.
Now an embellishment, for the non scrapbookers out there, is a sticker or three-dimentional sticker or some sort of page decoration (for example, silk flowers or heart stickers or three dimenstional cheerleading jerseys or something of that nature). It goes with some pictures that you either have in your possession or that you know you took at some time in some year. And you have to get it NOW because when you finally get ready to scrapbook those pictures and you want a three-D red cheerleading jersey to go with them, you won't be able to find one. I am really not kidding about this. I know you men out there think I am, but I am deadly serious. Get your embellishments while you can. Gather ye rosebuds while ye may.
Robert Herrick would have made a great scrapbooker.
Now there are men who scrapbook but not very many. It's a chick thing. Of course some of it amounts to catching up with your friends and social networking, and sometimes it gets annoying when people start bragging on their kids or their trips to Bermuda or their new pools. So that's when you put on your Ipod, only I can't find that right now either.
The real point of it is to preserve your family heritage and your family history. For example, you put pictures of your child blowing out birthday candles in a high chair on a page or a 2 page spread (I always work in 2 page spreads but that's all the yearbook and newspaper training). You color coordinate the paper and embellishments (for this spread you need baby and birthday stuff, which is usually in bright colors like gold, red and turquoise for Disney Pooh or pastels for Classic Pooh. Pooh is a popular and unisex theme for first birthdays and we actually had a Disney Pooh birthday for the girls, not knowing we were being so conventional). Anyway, you cut the pictures and mat them and put them on great looking paper and add embellishments and journaling. Crop, Mount, Journal, Embellish, although a lot of us journal later or at home since that's the hard part for most people. Of course, I can write a paragraph and carry on a conversation at the same time, but I still add my journaling last. Don't know why but I just can't get around to describing what is going on until I know what the pages are going to look like and how much room I have. When I type up a bunch of narration in advance for a project, which I do for vacations in particular, the journaling ends up all through the book like a travelogue and it doesn't go with the pictures at all.
So, back to the Baby Pages. You write some trite little copy like: "Miranda enjoys blowing out her candles at her first birthday party! The Theme was Winnie the Pooh and Grandma made the awesome cake!"
Of course, you can imagine that I don't always write it quite like that. But sometimes I do when I am in a hurry and I am feeling lazy. You can write really profound copy if you try, however. Scrapbooking magazines mostly exist to sell paper, embellishments, and other products, but I have seen spreads and narration on suicide, cancer, post-partum depression, and a whole host of things that I don't really want to scrapbook. I actually don't want to write the really introspective stuff because it would be like this blog: I would start and go and go and go like the Energizer bunny. I have difficulty stopping. And I think that the blog is a better format for writing these introspective things anyway. Also, scrapbooking is history. Real, living history that is photo-based. The journaling is mostly important for the context of the photos, and for most of us, there is not enough space on a 12 x 12 page to put photos, embellishments, and lots of intropection; not unless we are using one photo per page like in the magazines. So we scrapbookers are somewhat shallow because we love playing with all the pretty paper and embellishments, and while the journaling is important, it is actually not the central focus. Creative Memories acts like it should be the central focus and they are probably right, but it's just not. Especially since most people can't write their way out of a paper bag, but even people like me are saying "what an awesome first birthday cake!!!" (GAG). It's true that sometimes I read these books and I do just want to gag ("Oh, _____, you are the sweetest little girl when you yawn.") I am sorry, but I can only go so far into Pleasant Valley Momdom--even I am not quite that shallow or sappy, even about my kids whom I adore.
Now I'm not saying that my kids' birthdays or your kids' bar mitzvahs or the Prom of 2010 is all that interesting in particular, but it is in fact living history. If you look at the pictures, you learn a lot about furniture, clothing styles, and values of the people who took them. All the focus on kid-oriented scrapbooking since the late 1990's says something interesting about our socieity: how kid focused we have become and how that affects what is important to us.
Of course, not everyone scrapbooks kids. My friend Patty and her husband Buzz just went on a cruise, and so she is scrapbooking that (Travel and Heritage are popular topics). She and Buzz don't have children but they have a lot of friends at their church, so she also scrapbooks church events, sometimes for herself and sometimes for the church (such as a welcome book for a new minister to help him meet people, or a farewell book as a gift for a minister who is transferring to another assignment). Her books also showcase old photos from her childhood (heritage) and tell us a lot about life in the 1970s and on, as well as about different locations.
Some people even scrapbook collections or hobbies, such as taking pictures of all the quilts they make for a scrapbook. This is because sometimes quilts are sold or given away, and the same sometimes holds true with other collectibles. Some of the different types of themes you can find in a scrapbook that is family oriented are: family yearbook, vacation, seasons, holidays, baby boy, baby girl, toddler, preschool, school days (elementary), middle school, high school (graduation, driving and prom), college,special activities such as dance, soccer, or even destination imagaination. You can scrapbook birthdays and times when you went to various places. You can be introspective and scrapbook the REAL truth about what is going on in your life (I don't do this because I don't always want my kids to read it). I even did a scrapbook as part of a Bible Study one time. We took the Proverbs verses about the virtuous wife who is more precious than diamonds, and scrapbooked how we fit in with or did not fit in with a more modern understanding of the Bible verse. You can do "faithbooking"--scrapbook pictures and use your bible to illustrate the pictures with biblical quotes.
It sounds like a lot of work and it is. It is more work than Golf. I can spend days doing this. I think I could even spend a week doing it but I'm not sure. Because when I do it, I am pretty intense usually. I am one of those annoying people who goes to retreats and gets 50 pages (or a whole large book) done. Of course, this only happens if I put in a number of hours on the front end getting ready for a retreat. If I get shortchanged like last time on my prep time, then I only get about 20 or 30 pages done at Retreat. Today I spent some more time putting together little snowman paper dolls, which has nothing to do with historic preservation but it sure takes your mind off your troubles.
And of course there is the shopping. There is a lot of purchasing products, looking on the Internet, checking out ebay, blogging about scrapbooking, doing yahoo groups on how to use the Cricut, etc. I've never gotten into this much--I'd rather do it than talk about it (kind of like sex). And there is a limit to how much shopping one can do on my budget, and I still can spend money in an extremely fast fashion (because when I was an attorney there was no time to shop, so I am a ruthlessly efficient shopper).
Some people have fancy bags or ribbon holders, or boxes for embellishments. I even have a cool box for the lucite blocks that I use for stamps. And if there was a fire, and the kids and the pets and the husband were OK, I want the photos and completed books first but I want all my supplies second. You can't get into heaven if you don't finish your scrapbooks! She who dies with the most supplies wins. I Scrapbook and there's nothing my husband can do about it. Camp Crop A lot. Eat, Sleep, Scrap. These are real t shirts, folks! It's a national obsession. The economy has hurt it some, of course, but people have always tried to do it cheaply on one hand, and lavishly on the other. Here, let me get a Cricut machine for $300 and some cartridges and I won't need to buy those expensive $4 embellishments. I can make my own. And I can make cards, and cut sheet vinyl, and all kinds of other cool things too.....in my spare time.
And there's the rub. There just isn't any spare time, especially around a house like mine. So we ladies buy all this stuff and then we haul it places for a few hours so we can get out of the house and crop. Some people do work at home on it but it is difficult to make it a regular habit. There is laundry, cooking, homework, cleaning, and activities and jobs that always get in the way.
But I think in the long run we are performing a valuable service, we historians with acid free adhesive and pvc free page protectors. We are preserving our own family memories for our children, but we are doing more than that. Some of these scrapbook pages will end up in the Smithsonian one day to show what live was like in these times. People don't write letters any more, just email, and I don't know how much email will be permanently archived. Phone calls aren't usually recorded (unless the FBI or police is involved or something else weird is going on). The scrapbooks, especially the regular old paper scrapbooks and not the digital ones on the pc, have the potential to represent our historical period.
Looking back on the ones that are 5 to 10 to 30 years old is the most important. I did a very small scrapbook with pictures from my grandmother's life one time. It starts about 1903 with a family portrait. Some of my pictures were color copies and were not that good, and I didn't have much from some periods of my grandmother's ife. My mom and I wrote the copy for it and she added stuff in later, so there are two different handwritings in it. It's not very fancy in terms of embellishments or paper used as it was one of my earlier ones. However, my grandmother looked at it before she died and though she had dementia, it did jog her memory ("I Had a photo just like this one !" she supposedly said--of course, it was a copy of her photo all along). When she passed away at age 99 a few years ago the first thing my mom wanted was for me to bring the scrapbook homs so it could be used in Nana's memorial service.
Once people are gone the photos are all we have left. I took photos at my nephew Will's wedding back in about 1995 or 1996. I have pictures of him with his grandparents the Naglys (now both deceased). I have pictures of Robert's Aunt Ruby and Uncle Arvelle (now both deceased). I have pictures of his Aunt Maurine, who is still very much alive and kicking, and Uncle Archie (he passed away this year). If I hadn't take these pictures and put them in a scrapbook, I don't know who would have done this and we would not have any semi-recent pictures of these people from our family.
There's a Lyle Lovett song: "We're all gonna be here forever. So Mama, don't you make such a stir. Put down that camera, and come on and join us, the last of the family reserve." It's about all the people in the family who pass away over time and how we don't realize it but our families are constantly changing over the years, and sometimes people who have passed on get forgotten.
So keep that in mind next time you want to throw out photos. At least label them and add some notes on the back (use a photo labelling pencil and not a ball--point pen or marker, which can soak through and also get on the fronts of other phtoos). If you have boxes, take a box a month and put some notes on the back for future generations. I am not saying that you need to scrapbook because if you aren't doing it already, you would have to give up something else in order to do it. And I am getting farther and farther behind because the SCA is now encroaching on my cropping life--somehow I need to find a way to do both and still deal with the day to day business of life.
But I hope that my hours and hours at this task will not be in vain. I know, I should be writing a novel or something, but then I can't play with the pretty paper!!
Pleasant Valley Mom, wanting to get back to the scrapbooking table and knowning that she really can't today
Potato Sack Girls
I can't write long today because I have to go pack my scrapbooking stuff for a crop at 10 am. Somehow I have put off doing this until today, sewing on an impossible dress last night instead. I am just like my mom--I hate sewing on fabric I didn't pick out that I don't like that much. I have worked on this dress for about three nights now (it's a freebie that my friend Vivianna made for one of my girls from a remnant she had, and it's nicely made--I should be grateful). At any rate, the fabric is synthetic and it's difficult to hem, etc. so I finally pulled the whole mess out and decided that I am tired of working on the dress. I have hemmed the neckline and the sleeves and added lace trim, and cut it off because it was way too long for M and taken the shoulders up twice in different ways, then let them down again twice because it didn't hang right, tried it on A and it didn't work for her either, and finally told M to wear a shirt under it if she thinks it's too low cut. Actually she tried it on yesterday and I think it is fine even without the shoulders taken up. So I cut it off so she wouldn't trip on it because it's hard to put a big hem in it due to the fabric (it pulls and puckers so it would need more trim to cover that up, and I don't have any more of that lace). Now even putting a small hem in it is a nightmare. The pins won't stay in and it won't stay rolled and of course I am handsewing and I am not exactly great at it, although I am improving. It needs to just be serged again like Viv did it initially but I don't have a serger, so I just ironed a small hem. I may have to go and get some of that iron on tape that Fiona was recommending. After all, the dress is synthetic with modern lace trim so it's not exactly an Arts and Sciences project, but I have put so much time into fixing it up that it might as well be.
I am just too picky. Most people would have cut off the bottom and sleeves, hemmed the neckline and let the kid wear it ragged. It is, after all, a free dress. But I of course want it to look good on my daughter. Fortunately this is the potato sack daughter. She would look good in a potato sack (just cinch it!!!) And in fact that is kind of what this is, a blue/green potato sack with lace trim. Actually, if I know M, when she wears it she will look like a million bucks. It's actually a pretty good color for her. She's just one of those people. She doesn't have perfect hair because it's curly and all over the place, and it's not a great cut because she's growing out her bangs and doesn't want her hair layered. But she's pretty gorgeous nonetheless. Amelia is very cute too but she is thinner so she has a different look going on, plus she is not a potato sack girl. Clothes just don't fit her in that easy way--everything she puts on looks too big or too small. Well, not everything but it really needs to be just about perfect in order to look right on her, and that's hard when you are a size 8 in height and a size 6 in weight. What really works is size 7 clothes that were a little too big initially and have shrunk a bit, and then wear boots to keep the pants from looking too short. Not so easy to come by those.
Well, enough about fashion. I'm such an expert, anyway. I watch that "What Not To Wear" show and just cringe. I hate that Stacy witch. When they throw out everyone's favorite clothes and replace them with impractical, expensive clothes that require dry cleaning I just want to laugh. The next time I have $5,000 I won't be spending it on my wardrobe. Maybe I will go to Scotland. Isn't it interesting that I hate the female host but the male host (whose name I can't even remember--he's a bit of a milktoast)---well, he doesn't bother me. Clinton. That's his name. He even seems kind of nice, like a good person to have coffee with or something. Of course, he's probably gay, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't be a good person to have coffee with, just coffee without the "tea or me" part.
So, isn't it interesting that even I resent the strong woman and the man doesn't get on my nerves? Even on a stupid tv show? (By the way, R leaves the room if this show is on so I don't watch it often--I think he hates both of them).
Well, fashionistsas, that's all for now. Write with your comments about the fashion industry. It's certainly interesting even though it's extremely shallow. But then appearances are always shallow, aren't they? Don't we all just wear costumes every day? Think about it. Bow ties, long ties, button down collars, designer workout gear, Juicy Couture sunglasses, Prada handbags, Scarborough Faire Motorcycle t shirts with dragons on them. Whatever you wear to work or to shop in or even to hang around in the house in reflects a certain image. My hair is in the SCA mode right now, long and unruly, and it says, "I'm not really a suburban mom. I'm different." (In my town that probably means I look like I'm a Satanist instead of the Christian that I really am. I do have a cross up in my foyer but it's made of real barbed wire so it's just a little uncomfortable for people-- no hearts and flowers here on my cross. And there's a headhunters' mask from New Guinea in the family room--I see it as my own personal welcome sign).
See, if people know what they are looking at in my house I definitely send out some mixed signals. You can learn more about me from my house (artifacts in it, not the actual house) than my clothes.
I even wore my Scarby motorcycle shirt over to SCHOOL the other day although I did zip up my jacket so I wouldn't scare the other moms. I am not exactly the Harley culture anyway since I hate motorcycles (I hate the noise and the danger, not the idea of freedom). I'm not free anyway so why should anyone else be free? None of us are really free. But black with a motorcycle and a dragon? Well, why not? (actually this may be R's shirt--I don't remember).
So, if you are married just wear your husband's clothes today and confuse the hell out of people.
Pleasant Valley Mom, trying to figure out a good cropping and cookie selling outfit.
I am just too picky. Most people would have cut off the bottom and sleeves, hemmed the neckline and let the kid wear it ragged. It is, after all, a free dress. But I of course want it to look good on my daughter. Fortunately this is the potato sack daughter. She would look good in a potato sack (just cinch it!!!) And in fact that is kind of what this is, a blue/green potato sack with lace trim. Actually, if I know M, when she wears it she will look like a million bucks. It's actually a pretty good color for her. She's just one of those people. She doesn't have perfect hair because it's curly and all over the place, and it's not a great cut because she's growing out her bangs and doesn't want her hair layered. But she's pretty gorgeous nonetheless. Amelia is very cute too but she is thinner so she has a different look going on, plus she is not a potato sack girl. Clothes just don't fit her in that easy way--everything she puts on looks too big or too small. Well, not everything but it really needs to be just about perfect in order to look right on her, and that's hard when you are a size 8 in height and a size 6 in weight. What really works is size 7 clothes that were a little too big initially and have shrunk a bit, and then wear boots to keep the pants from looking too short. Not so easy to come by those.
Well, enough about fashion. I'm such an expert, anyway. I watch that "What Not To Wear" show and just cringe. I hate that Stacy witch. When they throw out everyone's favorite clothes and replace them with impractical, expensive clothes that require dry cleaning I just want to laugh. The next time I have $5,000 I won't be spending it on my wardrobe. Maybe I will go to Scotland. Isn't it interesting that I hate the female host but the male host (whose name I can't even remember--he's a bit of a milktoast)---well, he doesn't bother me. Clinton. That's his name. He even seems kind of nice, like a good person to have coffee with or something. Of course, he's probably gay, but that doesn't mean he wouldn't be a good person to have coffee with, just coffee without the "tea or me" part.
So, isn't it interesting that even I resent the strong woman and the man doesn't get on my nerves? Even on a stupid tv show? (By the way, R leaves the room if this show is on so I don't watch it often--I think he hates both of them).
Well, fashionistsas, that's all for now. Write with your comments about the fashion industry. It's certainly interesting even though it's extremely shallow. But then appearances are always shallow, aren't they? Don't we all just wear costumes every day? Think about it. Bow ties, long ties, button down collars, designer workout gear, Juicy Couture sunglasses, Prada handbags, Scarborough Faire Motorcycle t shirts with dragons on them. Whatever you wear to work or to shop in or even to hang around in the house in reflects a certain image. My hair is in the SCA mode right now, long and unruly, and it says, "I'm not really a suburban mom. I'm different." (In my town that probably means I look like I'm a Satanist instead of the Christian that I really am. I do have a cross up in my foyer but it's made of real barbed wire so it's just a little uncomfortable for people-- no hearts and flowers here on my cross. And there's a headhunters' mask from New Guinea in the family room--I see it as my own personal welcome sign).
See, if people know what they are looking at in my house I definitely send out some mixed signals. You can learn more about me from my house (artifacts in it, not the actual house) than my clothes.
I even wore my Scarby motorcycle shirt over to SCHOOL the other day although I did zip up my jacket so I wouldn't scare the other moms. I am not exactly the Harley culture anyway since I hate motorcycles (I hate the noise and the danger, not the idea of freedom). I'm not free anyway so why should anyone else be free? None of us are really free. But black with a motorcycle and a dragon? Well, why not? (actually this may be R's shirt--I don't remember).
So, if you are married just wear your husband's clothes today and confuse the hell out of people.
Pleasant Valley Mom, trying to figure out a good cropping and cookie selling outfit.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Drinking from the Last Bottle
"To die among friends. Can a man ask more? Can the world offer less? Who wants to live 'til the last bottle is empty? It's all-for-one, d'Artagnan, and one for all." Said by Van Heflin as Athos in The Three Muskateers, 1945.
This is the quotation of the month in the Elfsea Tidings, a newsletter from the Barony of Elfsea in the Kingdom of Ansteorra (for those of you not in the SCA, this is the Fort Worth chapter of the Texas/Oklahoma division of the Society for Creative Anachronism). The quotation this month is provided by Don Alaric, who is a sword collector and Rapier Don, Rapier Marshall, and most likely a big fan of the Three Muskateers in just about any form (although he probably isn't crazy about the new Barbie version, where Barbies duel with a rhythmic gymnastics ribbon. You think I'm making this up, right?)
OK, I promise to stay away--far away--from Barbie today. I really love this quotation although I'm not sure why. I am not a "light fighter" or a rapier person, although I really enjoy watching it and I think my kids are interested in learning. I broke my ankle a few years ago and refused to have surgery to put a pin in the ankle because it was "borderline" according to the doctor (and I avoid surgery at all costs). Now the ankle is weak and aches in bad weather, and I am limping. So I am not exactly light on my feet and I am the only person I know that actually tripped and fell on her butt trying to do English Country Dancing (of course I was in a long skirt that was too long for me and Birkenstocks, not exactly Barbie's Twelve Dancing Princesses shoes). So I don't know what you think, but I personally think I would be a menace on the rapier field, and not in a good way (meaning, I would just fall on my ass and embarass myself and possibly accidently bump into someone and hurt them, not that I would actually be any good). Besides, I have heard that it takes muscles that I probably don't have any more. I don't know how many people out there doing it have had three miscarriages and the equivalent of two C sections and countless other abdominal procedures but probably not most of them. Although there are a lot of women who do fight rapier, most of them are younger than I am and I doubt if any of them have my checkered reproductive history.
So, I am hardly one of the Three Muskateers but I do like their spirit. I like those campy Three Muskateers movies from the 1970s, remember? I don't know the particulars but I seem to recall that Michael York (man, he was a hunk) was D'Artanan. I am sorry to say that I don't even know much about The Three Muskateers, other than that there are numerous movies and I believe that one of our SCA members owns ALL of them (EVEN Barbie, which he received as a joke). I don't even remember if there is a book, so let me know because my ignorance is showing and I am not in the mood to research it right now.
I got my temporary crown on today, finally, and let me say this, it was worse than the root canal. I just can't breathe very well during these procedures, and since I'm a mouth breather with asthma who is trying desperately to inhale gas through my nose so that I will be high enough to forget where I am, and it just doesn't work that well...well, I am glad that's over. I never put on the new patient forms that I'm an attorney because it makes people nervous, but I did mention "JCPenney Legal Department" to the dentist (as in, "the dentist I had when I was working for the JCPenney Legal Department"--this makes it sound like I was a secretary or something--. The hygenist actually said she thought I could do this procedure without anesthesia and I said, "well, we will leave that to the dentist--but you are using gas, right?" She seemed surprised but wheeled the tank in. After the dentist spoke with me he not only numbed me but in the middle of the procedure he had to use a bunch of topical anesthesia. She blew a little air on me early on and I jumped about five feet out of my chair, and this was after I was already on the gas and only had one cup of coffee. I think if they could have knocked me out completely they would have.
So I'm not brave like D'Artanan, at least not in the dental chair. And don't put me underground in corridors either very often. Once my husband and I went to the Scarborough Ren Faire's SAPA event (a dinner for Friends of the Faire and the Scarborough Academy of Performing Arts cast) that we do every year. Since we didn't have the kids we went through the Tower of Terror, which is basically a medieval and renaissance execution museum. Now the exhibits don't bother me--they are a little cheesy anyway, and I know most of the methods used because I've seen those History Channel specials and read all that Elizabethan history and everything. I saw The Tudors. I know about the boiling of poisoners in oil and all that stuff, and while I wouldn't want to witness it personally, it really doesn't bother me to talk about it or even see a dramatization on TV. But the Tower of Terror runs underground and we were in these little corridors all by ourselves. I think if lots of people had been in there with us screaming or something I would have been fine, but all I could think about were all the bugs and worms and stuff in the soil, and all the cobwebs since no one had been in there since the previous Halloween, and it just totally creeped me out. I saw the replica of the crown jewels at the bottom (like the Tower of London has only I have seen the real thing before), and I was OUT OF THERE. Yuck. Will not be going back in there any time soon.
So cremate me, please, when I'm gone. The idea of those bugs and things and being in the ground with them is just too much to bear. I think it's a holdover from that song we used to sing in elementary school, you know: "The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, the worms play pinnocle in your snout." OK, even in elementary school it made me want to vomit.
And the Three Muskateers quote above is another, earlier version of the Klingon: "It's a Good Day to Die." This is also lifted by Little John in the BBC Robin Hood series (do those Brits think we don't know that they too have watched Worf and Next Generation???)
Of course, this is clearly a sentiment that is more likely to be expressed by men. I don't happen to think dying among friends is all that great. Maybe because I don't want to die any time soon. I guess dying among friends is better than dying among enemies, and you can hear this same sentiment echoed when Gimli and Legolas talk in the movie version of The Return of the King, as they are all about to get blown away in Mordor, when he says to Legolas that while he never planned to die along side an Elf, dying along side a friend is something that he can do. So men highly value this concept of dying among friends. Which is interesting because a lot of men, like my husband, have very few male friends and their relationships are very different than friendships between women. I'm not saying that male friends never talk about anything serious but a lot of times they do talk about things like sports, etc. and not very often about feelings. Maybe this is a stereotype but I don't think so.
For one thing, if you die in battle, you may die among friends, but isn't the last thing you see your enemy? (Unless you get shot in the back or something, of course).
Also, "Can the world offer less?" Well, yes in fact, it can. How about dying of cancer? Dying in a car wreck? Dying in a stupid accident (like jumping off a cruise ship because you are drunk). Dying unloved or unremembered? Dying estranged from your loved ones, or some of them? Not having your body found for a week because you were an unemployed recluse with very few friends? Yes, the world can definitely offer less in terms of the manner of your death, you had better believe it. Dying in battle is beginning to sound pretty damn good.
My husband and I discussed this quote and whether or not we agreed with it. (OK, I have already said it, we are pointy headed geeks. While other people would be having sex we are having discussions like this). The part that really intrigued us was "Who wants to live 'til the last bottle is empty?" My husband said, "I do. That means I drank it."
I think he has a point. Of course, if it's Geritol or Milk of Magnesia, maybe not so much. But give me a good bottle of Crown or Shiner Bock (and spare me the hangover or the gas from the beer) and I think I agree with him. I think I want to drink the last drops from the last bottle. For me, it's never a Good Day to Die. It just means my time is up and I haven't accomplished everything I meant to accomplish. This doesn't mean that I'm afraid of death, far from it. I'm more afraid, I think, of those bugs underground than I am of death. Presumably, as Christians, we will be taken to a better place and so on, and be with God, so there is nothing to be afraid of (assuming that we aren't going to Hell, of course).
And I just don't believe I'm going to Hell, sorry. I guess my concept of Hell is still very much like that in The Divine Comedy and I just don't believe that I am going there. I'm not a great person and I'm not a great Christian but overall I don't think I'm that bad.
My favorite joke about hell: a guy is getting the tour of Hell and he is asked if he wants to be in the room where everyone is head down in excrement or the one where everyone is at a cocktail party and merely standing around in excrement. He choses door number 2 (sorry for the joke there). Anyway, after he's there about five minutes having a nice cold brewski, one of the devil's messenger boys comes in and says, "Cocktail hour is over, everyone back on your heads!"
Hell is probably just a really cold place where you are not only alone but also remorseful for your lack of kindness to others on earth when you had a chance. Kind of like a cross between Jonathan Livingston Seagull and Dickens, only without Marley's chain.
Well, that's enough about the afterlife. I think it's time for one more bottle.
Pleasant Valley Mom, going back to the Gulf War Sewing and trying to Catch Up on LOST, which I managed to sleep through last night.
This is the quotation of the month in the Elfsea Tidings, a newsletter from the Barony of Elfsea in the Kingdom of Ansteorra (for those of you not in the SCA, this is the Fort Worth chapter of the Texas/Oklahoma division of the Society for Creative Anachronism). The quotation this month is provided by Don Alaric, who is a sword collector and Rapier Don, Rapier Marshall, and most likely a big fan of the Three Muskateers in just about any form (although he probably isn't crazy about the new Barbie version, where Barbies duel with a rhythmic gymnastics ribbon. You think I'm making this up, right?)
OK, I promise to stay away--far away--from Barbie today. I really love this quotation although I'm not sure why. I am not a "light fighter" or a rapier person, although I really enjoy watching it and I think my kids are interested in learning. I broke my ankle a few years ago and refused to have surgery to put a pin in the ankle because it was "borderline" according to the doctor (and I avoid surgery at all costs). Now the ankle is weak and aches in bad weather, and I am limping. So I am not exactly light on my feet and I am the only person I know that actually tripped and fell on her butt trying to do English Country Dancing (of course I was in a long skirt that was too long for me and Birkenstocks, not exactly Barbie's Twelve Dancing Princesses shoes). So I don't know what you think, but I personally think I would be a menace on the rapier field, and not in a good way (meaning, I would just fall on my ass and embarass myself and possibly accidently bump into someone and hurt them, not that I would actually be any good). Besides, I have heard that it takes muscles that I probably don't have any more. I don't know how many people out there doing it have had three miscarriages and the equivalent of two C sections and countless other abdominal procedures but probably not most of them. Although there are a lot of women who do fight rapier, most of them are younger than I am and I doubt if any of them have my checkered reproductive history.
So, I am hardly one of the Three Muskateers but I do like their spirit. I like those campy Three Muskateers movies from the 1970s, remember? I don't know the particulars but I seem to recall that Michael York (man, he was a hunk) was D'Artanan. I am sorry to say that I don't even know much about The Three Muskateers, other than that there are numerous movies and I believe that one of our SCA members owns ALL of them (EVEN Barbie, which he received as a joke). I don't even remember if there is a book, so let me know because my ignorance is showing and I am not in the mood to research it right now.
I got my temporary crown on today, finally, and let me say this, it was worse than the root canal. I just can't breathe very well during these procedures, and since I'm a mouth breather with asthma who is trying desperately to inhale gas through my nose so that I will be high enough to forget where I am, and it just doesn't work that well...well, I am glad that's over. I never put on the new patient forms that I'm an attorney because it makes people nervous, but I did mention "JCPenney Legal Department" to the dentist (as in, "the dentist I had when I was working for the JCPenney Legal Department"--this makes it sound like I was a secretary or something--. The hygenist actually said she thought I could do this procedure without anesthesia and I said, "well, we will leave that to the dentist--but you are using gas, right?" She seemed surprised but wheeled the tank in. After the dentist spoke with me he not only numbed me but in the middle of the procedure he had to use a bunch of topical anesthesia. She blew a little air on me early on and I jumped about five feet out of my chair, and this was after I was already on the gas and only had one cup of coffee. I think if they could have knocked me out completely they would have.
So I'm not brave like D'Artanan, at least not in the dental chair. And don't put me underground in corridors either very often. Once my husband and I went to the Scarborough Ren Faire's SAPA event (a dinner for Friends of the Faire and the Scarborough Academy of Performing Arts cast) that we do every year. Since we didn't have the kids we went through the Tower of Terror, which is basically a medieval and renaissance execution museum. Now the exhibits don't bother me--they are a little cheesy anyway, and I know most of the methods used because I've seen those History Channel specials and read all that Elizabethan history and everything. I saw The Tudors. I know about the boiling of poisoners in oil and all that stuff, and while I wouldn't want to witness it personally, it really doesn't bother me to talk about it or even see a dramatization on TV. But the Tower of Terror runs underground and we were in these little corridors all by ourselves. I think if lots of people had been in there with us screaming or something I would have been fine, but all I could think about were all the bugs and worms and stuff in the soil, and all the cobwebs since no one had been in there since the previous Halloween, and it just totally creeped me out. I saw the replica of the crown jewels at the bottom (like the Tower of London has only I have seen the real thing before), and I was OUT OF THERE. Yuck. Will not be going back in there any time soon.
So cremate me, please, when I'm gone. The idea of those bugs and things and being in the ground with them is just too much to bear. I think it's a holdover from that song we used to sing in elementary school, you know: "The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, the worms play pinnocle in your snout." OK, even in elementary school it made me want to vomit.
And the Three Muskateers quote above is another, earlier version of the Klingon: "It's a Good Day to Die." This is also lifted by Little John in the BBC Robin Hood series (do those Brits think we don't know that they too have watched Worf and Next Generation???)
Of course, this is clearly a sentiment that is more likely to be expressed by men. I don't happen to think dying among friends is all that great. Maybe because I don't want to die any time soon. I guess dying among friends is better than dying among enemies, and you can hear this same sentiment echoed when Gimli and Legolas talk in the movie version of The Return of the King, as they are all about to get blown away in Mordor, when he says to Legolas that while he never planned to die along side an Elf, dying along side a friend is something that he can do. So men highly value this concept of dying among friends. Which is interesting because a lot of men, like my husband, have very few male friends and their relationships are very different than friendships between women. I'm not saying that male friends never talk about anything serious but a lot of times they do talk about things like sports, etc. and not very often about feelings. Maybe this is a stereotype but I don't think so.
For one thing, if you die in battle, you may die among friends, but isn't the last thing you see your enemy? (Unless you get shot in the back or something, of course).
Also, "Can the world offer less?" Well, yes in fact, it can. How about dying of cancer? Dying in a car wreck? Dying in a stupid accident (like jumping off a cruise ship because you are drunk). Dying unloved or unremembered? Dying estranged from your loved ones, or some of them? Not having your body found for a week because you were an unemployed recluse with very few friends? Yes, the world can definitely offer less in terms of the manner of your death, you had better believe it. Dying in battle is beginning to sound pretty damn good.
My husband and I discussed this quote and whether or not we agreed with it. (OK, I have already said it, we are pointy headed geeks. While other people would be having sex we are having discussions like this). The part that really intrigued us was "Who wants to live 'til the last bottle is empty?" My husband said, "I do. That means I drank it."
I think he has a point. Of course, if it's Geritol or Milk of Magnesia, maybe not so much. But give me a good bottle of Crown or Shiner Bock (and spare me the hangover or the gas from the beer) and I think I agree with him. I think I want to drink the last drops from the last bottle. For me, it's never a Good Day to Die. It just means my time is up and I haven't accomplished everything I meant to accomplish. This doesn't mean that I'm afraid of death, far from it. I'm more afraid, I think, of those bugs underground than I am of death. Presumably, as Christians, we will be taken to a better place and so on, and be with God, so there is nothing to be afraid of (assuming that we aren't going to Hell, of course).
And I just don't believe I'm going to Hell, sorry. I guess my concept of Hell is still very much like that in The Divine Comedy and I just don't believe that I am going there. I'm not a great person and I'm not a great Christian but overall I don't think I'm that bad.
My favorite joke about hell: a guy is getting the tour of Hell and he is asked if he wants to be in the room where everyone is head down in excrement or the one where everyone is at a cocktail party and merely standing around in excrement. He choses door number 2 (sorry for the joke there). Anyway, after he's there about five minutes having a nice cold brewski, one of the devil's messenger boys comes in and says, "Cocktail hour is over, everyone back on your heads!"
Hell is probably just a really cold place where you are not only alone but also remorseful for your lack of kindness to others on earth when you had a chance. Kind of like a cross between Jonathan Livingston Seagull and Dickens, only without Marley's chain.
Well, that's enough about the afterlife. I think it's time for one more bottle.
Pleasant Valley Mom, going back to the Gulf War Sewing and trying to Catch Up on LOST, which I managed to sleep through last night.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
A Cabin in the Woods For Your Teen
I am actually sleeping through the night now (well, 1 am til 6:30, two nights in a row no less!) so I am very late today on doing the blog update. Sorry about that to all six of my faithful subscribers.
But lately I have been comtemplating how nice it would be to go live in a Cabin in the Woods for a Week. Or to send an unruly teenager there. Not that I have one--yet--but the day is definitely coming.
I was watching the Olympics the other night and Apolo Onton Ohno, the famous speedskater and Dancing With The Stars Champion for those who don't follow pop culture much, was skating for yet another medal. He is now the MOST decorated US Winter Olympian and he is at his third and probably final Olympics. I remember when he was a raw kid 8 years ago in this very aggressive and sometimes brutal sport (short track skating, where anything can happen and people will deliberately knock you down on camera). He doesn't have as many golds as speed skaters Eric Heiden or Bonnie Blair but he has more MEDALS. At any rate, when he was 15 apparently he went through a rough time and did not want to speed skate any more. He was raised by a single dad, a Japanese immigrant who can't have had a lot of money. His dad drove him all over hell's half acre so this kid could compete at quality events. Well, at one event Apolo didn't try very hard and came in dead last. His dad was upset, not at his son's ranking but because he gave up and didn't do as well as he could have. He didn't do his personal best.
So his dad took Apolo to a cabin in the woods and left him there for a week, so Apolo could decide what to do with his life. Now as far as I know he left him food, shelter (heat or the ability to make a fire in a woodstove), water, and he had a phone so he could call his dad after a week. I don't think he had Internet or Cable or the I phone or the Wii or the many modern distractions that we now have. And I don't think he even had a television. I have no idea what Apolo did during the week alone--what would you do? Did he read? What books did he take? Did he fish? Did he masturbate? Who really knows? But at the end of the week Apolo had decided that he did indeed want to continue speed skating, he rededicated himself to his sport, and the rest is history.
My husband's response was, "when can I go?" In other words, when do I get to slow down for a week and think about what to do with the rest of my life? This is a thought that one has as one nears 50 in my case, or passes it as my husband has (and I guess the big 53rd or 54th birthday is coming up in April--I forget which). As you start to see your physical abilities dwindle you realize that there are things that you will never do (and maybe like me you don't care. As a friend once said, "I have no real desire to jump out of a perfectly good airplane!") But obviously as one ages, some doors open but many close. I am watching the figure skaters and I always wanted to get my kids involved in that sport, and I am finding out that it is certainly too late to make them into little Olympians now. Besides, Amelia hates the cold of the ice rink even though she likes skating. But I don't even take them skating very often. I can't do it any more because of my ankle and I get bored sitting there, and the last time they needed a lot of help and I couldn't really help them. Robert had to do it and his knees can't take it very well either. In other words, maybe we are really too old to be good parents! We can't do some of the stuff that the cool, fit younger parents can do.
A friend and her family were at the ice rink that day (I am sorry to say that this was LAST Christmas 2008, not this year, and that is actually the last time I went to an ice rink). She has a son who is in high school and is on an elite hockey team. He is very talented and has even been drafted into the minor leagues. I think the plan was for him to play for a few years and then go to college on scholarship (apparently most hockey players these days do this and are a little older when they hit college, which is not really a bad thing because they are a little more mature). Now this kid has always lived and breathed hockey. I've rarely seen him when he wasn't in uniform, or watching hockey, or even on in-line roller skates. I have supported a few of his fundraisers over the years and I have watched him grow up. His team just won the state championship and he is on his way to regionals.
But he may have played his last hockey game as soon as regionals are concluded. His parents aren't going due to other obligations and expenses. I know that they have put their hearts and souls into supporting him, driving him places, and paying for hockey. The dad was out of work for a while last year and is on a contract assignment now, and they almost had to move to Houston last spring. So it has not been an easy road for them. The two younger kids play hockey. I mean, hockey is really a very important force in their lives.
But the kid is not sure he wants to continue with hockey. I am not sure of his reasoning because I haven't talked with him and I really don't know him well. But I expect he is getting bored with it, or tired of it, or burned out on it. It's hard. You can get hurt. It can be dangerous. There are probably a lot of good things and bad things about it. It may be that being up there with a farm team or whatever they are called subjects you to certain temptations. Maybe he has a girlfriend he wants to follow to college. Maybe his friends are going to college and he doesn't want to wait and play hockey for a few years. I don't know what his reasons are and some of them may be good and legitimate. But nevertheless this has to be devastating to his parents. This kid has a real gift that he has developed and now he's about to throw that out the window. How will he feel in 15 or 20 years when he is one of us living in the burbs who could have been a great hockey player? Or maybe he won't be a great hockey player, but he will never know unless he tries, right? Or maybe there is something else he is supposed to do with his life. Maybe hockey has got him sidetracked and God has a plan for him that he has not been following. There's apparently a minor league baseball player who was getting ready to be moved up to the majors recently and decided to quit and become a priest. I'm not saying that this hockey player kid is supposed to be in the ministry, but who knows?
You know, we all have missed opportunities. Jobs that maybe we should have taken (or quit sooner). Boyfriends or girlfriends we maybe should have stayed with, or given a second chance. Or Dumped sooner. Or Not Married in the First Place. Maybe we should have tried harder to have children. Maybe we shouldn't have had children. Maybe we shouldn't have gotten drunk on that occasion and said those awful things to those people who never speak to us now because of our appalling behavior. Maybe we should have visited our families more often or tried to understand them better. Maybe we should have sent out more birthday cards on time (a big personal failing of mine--I like to make cards but I rarely get around to mailing them). Maybe we should have remembered those birth control pills and that we were on antibiotics (that's the lament of a friend of mine who has TWO sets of identical twin boys and guess how the second set was conceived???) Life throws us curveballs sometimes, and we don't always respond well. Maybe we should have spent more time with that person but we didn't know she/he was sick, dying, or that it was our last time on earth with them. Or we didn't want to believe it. We all have regrets. We say we don't. Maybe we should have joined that church or organization or activity sooner. Maybe we should have exercised more and eaten better food. Maybe we should have managed our healthcare better or taken better care of ourselves. Maybe we should have stood up for ourselves. Maybe we should have said "no" when asked to volunteer for something we knew we didn't possibly have time to do. Maybe we should have said "yes" and worked it into our already overloaded schedules. Maybe we should have seen the dentist before the teeth fell, literally, out of our heads (OK, this is definitely my lament this week, although I know WHY I didn't see the dentist earlier--combination of fear and insurance woes).
(Rob, if you are reading this and see any subject/verb agreement problems in the above paragraph, please email me. I tried but I'm kind of tired this morning). :)
So I don't want my friend's son to have regrets about giving up his burgeoning hockey career even though he may have good reasons for it. So I told her about the Cabin in the Woods. She thought it was a great idea. But she said the same thing as my husband, "When do I get to go???"
I moved to Dallas in 1986 after graduating from the University of Virginia School of Law. I had a very prestigious job lined up with Jones Day Reavis & Pogue, and they had given me a signing bonus to live off of for the summer so that I could study for and pass the bar exam. Now the wealthier kids took their bonuses and travelled but I used mine, and my graduation gift of money (three months' car payment), to live off of. (Boy, one of my big regrets is not blowing it all on a nice trip!!!) I had purchased a new Buick Electra in January 1986 on the strength of an offer letter and no payments were due until June, but I wasn't working until September. I had credit cards, I had a little money (but not much), I had a new color tv and a new microwave. I moved into an apartment. I didn't really know anyone out here or who to call, and I was scared to death for a while to drive in the city. But I had to go to Bar Review so I figured out how to get there, and I got there and took the class. I networked with other young lawyers in the same position. I studied. I went to the apartment swimming pool, which was filled with working class single people who liked to drink lots of beer on the weekend and play beach volleyball (not really my scene, in other words). In fact, one of the gals took me out to a nightclub once and looked through my closet and said with a Texas accent, "You really don't have no clubbin' clothes!!" I think she had to lend me something. Guess what, I still don't. Met a pipe fitter from Plano at a bar. He didn't call. Big loss. OK, he had muscles, but that's about all.
I went shopping for some work clothes and a new purse (not very much shopping--credit cards were already in a sad state from law school). I didn't go to any parties that I recall except those held at the apartment complex. I didn't go to bars except for the one incident above--didn't want to be out there alone and put myself in a potentially dangerous situation, like I had done the summer of 85 in Atlanta (went to parties by myself, drank too much, drove, hung out with lawyer-types who were doing drugs even though I didn't, things of that nature. Fortunately did not get arrested, in an accident, robbed, stoned, or date raped.)
So it was a mild summer, just me and my cat Buttercup, and my little apartment, and my bar review books and classes. I studied a lot. Three days before the bar exam I turned to Buttercup and remarked that she knew just about as much about Secured Transactions as I did by that date. (I spent a lot of my UCC/Secured Transactions class in law school in my new boyfriend's bed and got a C minus--in the class, not in bed, but it didn't matter because I already had my fancy new job). Of course the joke was on me because what class did I have to teach the Buyers at least four or five times while I worked in the JCPenney Legal Department? UCC (Uniform Commercial Code for those of you who did not go to law school, and the other part of the UCC class was, as I mentioned above, Secured Transactions. Article 9. Checks and secured transactions and stuff. Black Gold, Texas Tea. Oops, that was another class that I didn't have in law school and needed for the Texas bar, called Oil and Gas Law.) So yes, I taught UCC at JCPenney's, which meant that I actually had to LEARN the UCC law since I didn't bother for law school and only learned enough to get through the Bar Exam. I had the UCC Nutshell (sort of like Cliff's Notes for lawyers) in my office for YEARS and it probably is still in a box around here somewhere. What a joke--me teaching UCC. Professor Bergin would get a kick out of that, except that he wouldn't remember who the hell I was, since I was never there. Of course, he's retired or deceased by now, as are most of my college and a lot of my law school profs.
So my point is, when do I get to go to the Cabin in the Woods? Like Henry David Thoreau, whose name I hope I am spelling correctly, I want to go to the cabin so that I can learn to live Deliberately. I want some interior focus time. And I'm not going to spend it doing my finances like he did. I don't just want to blog, or meditate, or pray once a day. I want to discover who the hell I am and what am I doing with my life? What are my God-given talents? Am I using them? Am I being the best I can be? I try to get the Destination Imagination kids to focus on doing their personal best, not just winning. Destination Imagination competitions are largely subjective, like ice dancing. We can't always be first place. I am nortorious myself for always being third or fourth, not even second. If I were in the Olympics I would finish just out of the medals. I'm not a winner. I'm an also ran. And so are many of you out there because even though our culture worships and reveres the winners, many of us are damn good but we just aren't the valedictorian or the gold medalist. The margin for error is small and it takes a lot of time, patience, skill and luck to get on that podium. And some of us screw up or just don't quite make the grade.
One of my friends remarked that he doesn't watch a lot of tv because time is running out. There is not time left in his lifetime to do all that he wants to do. He's not that old (at least compared to me) but he's right. We don't know how much time we have. All we can do is make the most of the time that is left to us. I am attempting to quote Gandalf here in the LOTR movie, although knowing the script writers, someone else probably said this in the books. Please email me, all you Lord of the Rings fans, and let me know.
Professor Tolkien spent his whole life trying to write down his version of Middle Earth and never did finish the Simarillion. In fact, fortunately his son Christopher has devoted most of HIS life to preserving his father's legacy and publishing every scrap of Professor Tolkien's papers that can be used. He did finally publish the Simarrillion in the late 90's. I don't know Christopher Tolkien or his family and I have heard that some do not care for him but I admire him for devoting his life to the Tolkien legacy. It's almost like giving his father a second lifetime. My understanding is that Christopher has a son who is lined up to also help with the work, and that is one of the reasons why we continue to get new Tolkien material such as Children of Hurin even though I believe that Christopher himself is in his 80's. So, thank God for the Tolkien family, and if they don't like the movie, well, they weren't really consulted and didn't get all the money from it either, so who can blame them? Although I suspect they are rich enough by now from just the books--there's a whole shelf at Barnes & Noble, and you can even buy the translation of Sir Orfeo there.
My kids read the Father Christmas letters from Professor Tolkien (and I always cry at the end when he writes the last letter to his little girl Priscilla, because she's grown up and too old to be hanging up her stocking any more--oh dear, crying now!!!) Miranda wanted to know what happened to the kids, so I looked them up on the Internet. I believe that John and Michael are now deceased--John was a priest, and I don't remember about Michael although he was badly injured in the war, and Priscilla was a social worker. I think she is still alive but also retired. So it was really sad--the kids are not only grown up but two of them are gone and two of them are elderly. But there are other relatives to carry on the legacy. And I reminded Miranda that we all get too old one day to hang up our stockings, but we can carry on the legacy of Santa Claus by doing it for our children, our neices and nephews, our community. Still it makes me cry. They are just humoring me now with Santa Claus. I mean, they pretend like they believe and they think they should get wonderful letters like Professor Tolkien wrote, and they even asked a few years ago why they didn't get the wonderful drawings, and I just said that there were so many children now that Santa didn't have the time to do those great personal and lengthy letters and drawings. Some years Professor Tolkien didn't have time to do it either, but I don't have his writing talent and I certainly don't have his artistic talent. Plus Santa uses the PC these days to write those letters anyway. No one will ever want to publish mine--they aren't that good, and they certainly don't rise to the level of Professor Tolkien's letters. Even off the cuff he was ten times better than just about any other writer I know. Most of the latter chapters of LOTR were not even revised very much but simply sprang from his pen like Athena from Zeus' head, full grown.
Well, I hope I don't regret too many things I did or didn't do with my children. I certainly tried. That's part of what this staying at home is all about. But now that they are 10 and I am trying to get them prepared for the next 50 or so years of their lives, I am wondering when I get to go to the cabin in the woods. When I was there (in that little apartment in Dallas with nothing to do but study) I focused on becoming a lawyer, and I did it. I guess that is an achievement of sorts. Well, I was a good lawyer but I was not "partnership material"--not good enough at the client development (i.e. bringing in the business). I had the brains and the writing ability but I wasn't athletic or good looking like a cheerleader so I was definitely a B list lawyer. Went in house and gave up on law firm life (liked in house much better, by the way). Not the whole package. Not John Litchenstein, a successful lawyer from my high school graduating class (I had better grades in law school than he did though). John is a fine Criminal Defense lawyer in Roanoke, Virginia and I would highly recommend him to anyone needing his services, but he is a Total Package lawyer. Smart. Good looking. Well Connected. Athletic. And a Genuinely Nice Guy. Seriously. I really can't tell you anything that is wrong with him because I don't really know him well and haven't seen him for 30 years. But he is a Total Package person and some of us are just NOT. It's very difficult to be smart, good looking, athletic, well-connected and nice all at the same time. I don't know how he, or anyone else who is like this, does it. In fact, some of those Total Package Lawyers that I used to work with in the firms were real shits, but I don't believe that John L. is like that at all. Or at least I hope not, although I know he has to be tough sometimes in his position. Criminal Defense is not for the faint at heart. I have met very few people who are really all of those things that some of the Total Package People are-- deep down, maybe none of us are Total Package People but some of us are just better at Marketing.
And I no longer aspire to be a Total Package Person. I have enough on my plate. I am smart, my husband thinks I'm cute, and I think my kids like me (at least today). Sometimes I can get crabby and be a real bitch, but you know, that's a loaded term. Women who are strong and opinionated and get things done (and mow people over sometimes in doing them) are called bitches. Men who do this sort of thing are just called Aggressive, and it's usually considered a GOOD Thing. But for women, it can hold you back if you are a bitch, and it can hold you back if you are "too nice." So it's a no win situation, especially if you are a strong, smart, opinionated woman. Just keep your mouth shut. "Just Smile and Wave, Boys!" as the Penguins say in Madagascar. Hey, even the Penguins are male!!!! And the female hippo in Madagascar, well, she's just such a "lady" and she's all about flaunting herself sexually. She's one of those tough, hot black women (played by Jada Pinkett Smith, Will Smith's wife). Honestly, the Penguins, who are a tad bit psycotic (or at least they are called so in the script) are so much more interesting!
Just don't get me started on female vs. male characters in literature and the movies. Now that's a Tolkien discussion worth having!!! The truth is that the role models for girls are very conflicted and conflicting, and it's hard to know as a young girl where you fit in. Are you supposed to be strong, successful and intellectual or beautiful and manipulative of men? Hillary Clinton or Anna Nicole Smith? Well, even though I am not exactly her biggest fan I think I would definitely prefer being Hillary, even though her husband cheats on her. At least she's still alive and at least she has a clue. And my wonderful husband didn't even think Anna Nicole was that pretty, just pathetic. He certainly wouldn't have married her, but then he wasn't an old guy with lots of money, was he?
Pleasant Valley Mom, Thinking It's Time to Go Take Craft Supplies Back to Hobby Lobby and Try Not To Spend Any More Money There
But lately I have been comtemplating how nice it would be to go live in a Cabin in the Woods for a Week. Or to send an unruly teenager there. Not that I have one--yet--but the day is definitely coming.
I was watching the Olympics the other night and Apolo Onton Ohno, the famous speedskater and Dancing With The Stars Champion for those who don't follow pop culture much, was skating for yet another medal. He is now the MOST decorated US Winter Olympian and he is at his third and probably final Olympics. I remember when he was a raw kid 8 years ago in this very aggressive and sometimes brutal sport (short track skating, where anything can happen and people will deliberately knock you down on camera). He doesn't have as many golds as speed skaters Eric Heiden or Bonnie Blair but he has more MEDALS. At any rate, when he was 15 apparently he went through a rough time and did not want to speed skate any more. He was raised by a single dad, a Japanese immigrant who can't have had a lot of money. His dad drove him all over hell's half acre so this kid could compete at quality events. Well, at one event Apolo didn't try very hard and came in dead last. His dad was upset, not at his son's ranking but because he gave up and didn't do as well as he could have. He didn't do his personal best.
So his dad took Apolo to a cabin in the woods and left him there for a week, so Apolo could decide what to do with his life. Now as far as I know he left him food, shelter (heat or the ability to make a fire in a woodstove), water, and he had a phone so he could call his dad after a week. I don't think he had Internet or Cable or the I phone or the Wii or the many modern distractions that we now have. And I don't think he even had a television. I have no idea what Apolo did during the week alone--what would you do? Did he read? What books did he take? Did he fish? Did he masturbate? Who really knows? But at the end of the week Apolo had decided that he did indeed want to continue speed skating, he rededicated himself to his sport, and the rest is history.
My husband's response was, "when can I go?" In other words, when do I get to slow down for a week and think about what to do with the rest of my life? This is a thought that one has as one nears 50 in my case, or passes it as my husband has (and I guess the big 53rd or 54th birthday is coming up in April--I forget which). As you start to see your physical abilities dwindle you realize that there are things that you will never do (and maybe like me you don't care. As a friend once said, "I have no real desire to jump out of a perfectly good airplane!") But obviously as one ages, some doors open but many close. I am watching the figure skaters and I always wanted to get my kids involved in that sport, and I am finding out that it is certainly too late to make them into little Olympians now. Besides, Amelia hates the cold of the ice rink even though she likes skating. But I don't even take them skating very often. I can't do it any more because of my ankle and I get bored sitting there, and the last time they needed a lot of help and I couldn't really help them. Robert had to do it and his knees can't take it very well either. In other words, maybe we are really too old to be good parents! We can't do some of the stuff that the cool, fit younger parents can do.
A friend and her family were at the ice rink that day (I am sorry to say that this was LAST Christmas 2008, not this year, and that is actually the last time I went to an ice rink). She has a son who is in high school and is on an elite hockey team. He is very talented and has even been drafted into the minor leagues. I think the plan was for him to play for a few years and then go to college on scholarship (apparently most hockey players these days do this and are a little older when they hit college, which is not really a bad thing because they are a little more mature). Now this kid has always lived and breathed hockey. I've rarely seen him when he wasn't in uniform, or watching hockey, or even on in-line roller skates. I have supported a few of his fundraisers over the years and I have watched him grow up. His team just won the state championship and he is on his way to regionals.
But he may have played his last hockey game as soon as regionals are concluded. His parents aren't going due to other obligations and expenses. I know that they have put their hearts and souls into supporting him, driving him places, and paying for hockey. The dad was out of work for a while last year and is on a contract assignment now, and they almost had to move to Houston last spring. So it has not been an easy road for them. The two younger kids play hockey. I mean, hockey is really a very important force in their lives.
But the kid is not sure he wants to continue with hockey. I am not sure of his reasoning because I haven't talked with him and I really don't know him well. But I expect he is getting bored with it, or tired of it, or burned out on it. It's hard. You can get hurt. It can be dangerous. There are probably a lot of good things and bad things about it. It may be that being up there with a farm team or whatever they are called subjects you to certain temptations. Maybe he has a girlfriend he wants to follow to college. Maybe his friends are going to college and he doesn't want to wait and play hockey for a few years. I don't know what his reasons are and some of them may be good and legitimate. But nevertheless this has to be devastating to his parents. This kid has a real gift that he has developed and now he's about to throw that out the window. How will he feel in 15 or 20 years when he is one of us living in the burbs who could have been a great hockey player? Or maybe he won't be a great hockey player, but he will never know unless he tries, right? Or maybe there is something else he is supposed to do with his life. Maybe hockey has got him sidetracked and God has a plan for him that he has not been following. There's apparently a minor league baseball player who was getting ready to be moved up to the majors recently and decided to quit and become a priest. I'm not saying that this hockey player kid is supposed to be in the ministry, but who knows?
You know, we all have missed opportunities. Jobs that maybe we should have taken (or quit sooner). Boyfriends or girlfriends we maybe should have stayed with, or given a second chance. Or Dumped sooner. Or Not Married in the First Place. Maybe we should have tried harder to have children. Maybe we shouldn't have had children. Maybe we shouldn't have gotten drunk on that occasion and said those awful things to those people who never speak to us now because of our appalling behavior. Maybe we should have visited our families more often or tried to understand them better. Maybe we should have sent out more birthday cards on time (a big personal failing of mine--I like to make cards but I rarely get around to mailing them). Maybe we should have remembered those birth control pills and that we were on antibiotics (that's the lament of a friend of mine who has TWO sets of identical twin boys and guess how the second set was conceived???) Life throws us curveballs sometimes, and we don't always respond well. Maybe we should have spent more time with that person but we didn't know she/he was sick, dying, or that it was our last time on earth with them. Or we didn't want to believe it. We all have regrets. We say we don't. Maybe we should have joined that church or organization or activity sooner. Maybe we should have exercised more and eaten better food. Maybe we should have managed our healthcare better or taken better care of ourselves. Maybe we should have stood up for ourselves. Maybe we should have said "no" when asked to volunteer for something we knew we didn't possibly have time to do. Maybe we should have said "yes" and worked it into our already overloaded schedules. Maybe we should have seen the dentist before the teeth fell, literally, out of our heads (OK, this is definitely my lament this week, although I know WHY I didn't see the dentist earlier--combination of fear and insurance woes).
(Rob, if you are reading this and see any subject/verb agreement problems in the above paragraph, please email me. I tried but I'm kind of tired this morning). :)
So I don't want my friend's son to have regrets about giving up his burgeoning hockey career even though he may have good reasons for it. So I told her about the Cabin in the Woods. She thought it was a great idea. But she said the same thing as my husband, "When do I get to go???"
I moved to Dallas in 1986 after graduating from the University of Virginia School of Law. I had a very prestigious job lined up with Jones Day Reavis & Pogue, and they had given me a signing bonus to live off of for the summer so that I could study for and pass the bar exam. Now the wealthier kids took their bonuses and travelled but I used mine, and my graduation gift of money (three months' car payment), to live off of. (Boy, one of my big regrets is not blowing it all on a nice trip!!!) I had purchased a new Buick Electra in January 1986 on the strength of an offer letter and no payments were due until June, but I wasn't working until September. I had credit cards, I had a little money (but not much), I had a new color tv and a new microwave. I moved into an apartment. I didn't really know anyone out here or who to call, and I was scared to death for a while to drive in the city. But I had to go to Bar Review so I figured out how to get there, and I got there and took the class. I networked with other young lawyers in the same position. I studied. I went to the apartment swimming pool, which was filled with working class single people who liked to drink lots of beer on the weekend and play beach volleyball (not really my scene, in other words). In fact, one of the gals took me out to a nightclub once and looked through my closet and said with a Texas accent, "You really don't have no clubbin' clothes!!" I think she had to lend me something. Guess what, I still don't. Met a pipe fitter from Plano at a bar. He didn't call. Big loss. OK, he had muscles, but that's about all.
I went shopping for some work clothes and a new purse (not very much shopping--credit cards were already in a sad state from law school). I didn't go to any parties that I recall except those held at the apartment complex. I didn't go to bars except for the one incident above--didn't want to be out there alone and put myself in a potentially dangerous situation, like I had done the summer of 85 in Atlanta (went to parties by myself, drank too much, drove, hung out with lawyer-types who were doing drugs even though I didn't, things of that nature. Fortunately did not get arrested, in an accident, robbed, stoned, or date raped.)
So it was a mild summer, just me and my cat Buttercup, and my little apartment, and my bar review books and classes. I studied a lot. Three days before the bar exam I turned to Buttercup and remarked that she knew just about as much about Secured Transactions as I did by that date. (I spent a lot of my UCC/Secured Transactions class in law school in my new boyfriend's bed and got a C minus--in the class, not in bed, but it didn't matter because I already had my fancy new job). Of course the joke was on me because what class did I have to teach the Buyers at least four or five times while I worked in the JCPenney Legal Department? UCC (Uniform Commercial Code for those of you who did not go to law school, and the other part of the UCC class was, as I mentioned above, Secured Transactions. Article 9. Checks and secured transactions and stuff. Black Gold, Texas Tea. Oops, that was another class that I didn't have in law school and needed for the Texas bar, called Oil and Gas Law.) So yes, I taught UCC at JCPenney's, which meant that I actually had to LEARN the UCC law since I didn't bother for law school and only learned enough to get through the Bar Exam. I had the UCC Nutshell (sort of like Cliff's Notes for lawyers) in my office for YEARS and it probably is still in a box around here somewhere. What a joke--me teaching UCC. Professor Bergin would get a kick out of that, except that he wouldn't remember who the hell I was, since I was never there. Of course, he's retired or deceased by now, as are most of my college and a lot of my law school profs.
So my point is, when do I get to go to the Cabin in the Woods? Like Henry David Thoreau, whose name I hope I am spelling correctly, I want to go to the cabin so that I can learn to live Deliberately. I want some interior focus time. And I'm not going to spend it doing my finances like he did. I don't just want to blog, or meditate, or pray once a day. I want to discover who the hell I am and what am I doing with my life? What are my God-given talents? Am I using them? Am I being the best I can be? I try to get the Destination Imagination kids to focus on doing their personal best, not just winning. Destination Imagination competitions are largely subjective, like ice dancing. We can't always be first place. I am nortorious myself for always being third or fourth, not even second. If I were in the Olympics I would finish just out of the medals. I'm not a winner. I'm an also ran. And so are many of you out there because even though our culture worships and reveres the winners, many of us are damn good but we just aren't the valedictorian or the gold medalist. The margin for error is small and it takes a lot of time, patience, skill and luck to get on that podium. And some of us screw up or just don't quite make the grade.
One of my friends remarked that he doesn't watch a lot of tv because time is running out. There is not time left in his lifetime to do all that he wants to do. He's not that old (at least compared to me) but he's right. We don't know how much time we have. All we can do is make the most of the time that is left to us. I am attempting to quote Gandalf here in the LOTR movie, although knowing the script writers, someone else probably said this in the books. Please email me, all you Lord of the Rings fans, and let me know.
Professor Tolkien spent his whole life trying to write down his version of Middle Earth and never did finish the Simarillion. In fact, fortunately his son Christopher has devoted most of HIS life to preserving his father's legacy and publishing every scrap of Professor Tolkien's papers that can be used. He did finally publish the Simarrillion in the late 90's. I don't know Christopher Tolkien or his family and I have heard that some do not care for him but I admire him for devoting his life to the Tolkien legacy. It's almost like giving his father a second lifetime. My understanding is that Christopher has a son who is lined up to also help with the work, and that is one of the reasons why we continue to get new Tolkien material such as Children of Hurin even though I believe that Christopher himself is in his 80's. So, thank God for the Tolkien family, and if they don't like the movie, well, they weren't really consulted and didn't get all the money from it either, so who can blame them? Although I suspect they are rich enough by now from just the books--there's a whole shelf at Barnes & Noble, and you can even buy the translation of Sir Orfeo there.
My kids read the Father Christmas letters from Professor Tolkien (and I always cry at the end when he writes the last letter to his little girl Priscilla, because she's grown up and too old to be hanging up her stocking any more--oh dear, crying now!!!) Miranda wanted to know what happened to the kids, so I looked them up on the Internet. I believe that John and Michael are now deceased--John was a priest, and I don't remember about Michael although he was badly injured in the war, and Priscilla was a social worker. I think she is still alive but also retired. So it was really sad--the kids are not only grown up but two of them are gone and two of them are elderly. But there are other relatives to carry on the legacy. And I reminded Miranda that we all get too old one day to hang up our stockings, but we can carry on the legacy of Santa Claus by doing it for our children, our neices and nephews, our community. Still it makes me cry. They are just humoring me now with Santa Claus. I mean, they pretend like they believe and they think they should get wonderful letters like Professor Tolkien wrote, and they even asked a few years ago why they didn't get the wonderful drawings, and I just said that there were so many children now that Santa didn't have the time to do those great personal and lengthy letters and drawings. Some years Professor Tolkien didn't have time to do it either, but I don't have his writing talent and I certainly don't have his artistic talent. Plus Santa uses the PC these days to write those letters anyway. No one will ever want to publish mine--they aren't that good, and they certainly don't rise to the level of Professor Tolkien's letters. Even off the cuff he was ten times better than just about any other writer I know. Most of the latter chapters of LOTR were not even revised very much but simply sprang from his pen like Athena from Zeus' head, full grown.
Well, I hope I don't regret too many things I did or didn't do with my children. I certainly tried. That's part of what this staying at home is all about. But now that they are 10 and I am trying to get them prepared for the next 50 or so years of their lives, I am wondering when I get to go to the cabin in the woods. When I was there (in that little apartment in Dallas with nothing to do but study) I focused on becoming a lawyer, and I did it. I guess that is an achievement of sorts. Well, I was a good lawyer but I was not "partnership material"--not good enough at the client development (i.e. bringing in the business). I had the brains and the writing ability but I wasn't athletic or good looking like a cheerleader so I was definitely a B list lawyer. Went in house and gave up on law firm life (liked in house much better, by the way). Not the whole package. Not John Litchenstein, a successful lawyer from my high school graduating class (I had better grades in law school than he did though). John is a fine Criminal Defense lawyer in Roanoke, Virginia and I would highly recommend him to anyone needing his services, but he is a Total Package lawyer. Smart. Good looking. Well Connected. Athletic. And a Genuinely Nice Guy. Seriously. I really can't tell you anything that is wrong with him because I don't really know him well and haven't seen him for 30 years. But he is a Total Package person and some of us are just NOT. It's very difficult to be smart, good looking, athletic, well-connected and nice all at the same time. I don't know how he, or anyone else who is like this, does it. In fact, some of those Total Package Lawyers that I used to work with in the firms were real shits, but I don't believe that John L. is like that at all. Or at least I hope not, although I know he has to be tough sometimes in his position. Criminal Defense is not for the faint at heart. I have met very few people who are really all of those things that some of the Total Package People are-- deep down, maybe none of us are Total Package People but some of us are just better at Marketing.
And I no longer aspire to be a Total Package Person. I have enough on my plate. I am smart, my husband thinks I'm cute, and I think my kids like me (at least today). Sometimes I can get crabby and be a real bitch, but you know, that's a loaded term. Women who are strong and opinionated and get things done (and mow people over sometimes in doing them) are called bitches. Men who do this sort of thing are just called Aggressive, and it's usually considered a GOOD Thing. But for women, it can hold you back if you are a bitch, and it can hold you back if you are "too nice." So it's a no win situation, especially if you are a strong, smart, opinionated woman. Just keep your mouth shut. "Just Smile and Wave, Boys!" as the Penguins say in Madagascar. Hey, even the Penguins are male!!!! And the female hippo in Madagascar, well, she's just such a "lady" and she's all about flaunting herself sexually. She's one of those tough, hot black women (played by Jada Pinkett Smith, Will Smith's wife). Honestly, the Penguins, who are a tad bit psycotic (or at least they are called so in the script) are so much more interesting!
Just don't get me started on female vs. male characters in literature and the movies. Now that's a Tolkien discussion worth having!!! The truth is that the role models for girls are very conflicted and conflicting, and it's hard to know as a young girl where you fit in. Are you supposed to be strong, successful and intellectual or beautiful and manipulative of men? Hillary Clinton or Anna Nicole Smith? Well, even though I am not exactly her biggest fan I think I would definitely prefer being Hillary, even though her husband cheats on her. At least she's still alive and at least she has a clue. And my wonderful husband didn't even think Anna Nicole was that pretty, just pathetic. He certainly wouldn't have married her, but then he wasn't an old guy with lots of money, was he?
Pleasant Valley Mom, Thinking It's Time to Go Take Craft Supplies Back to Hobby Lobby and Try Not To Spend Any More Money There
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