The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Morning

Well, this was indeed the Morning from Hell.

This is probably because it was the night from hell. R had to work on something from the time he got home until, basically, 3 am. So when he got home he was plugged into a conference call (his phone fits on his ear like a Borg implant). I had to leave at 5:15 to go pick up consignment and I sent one of the girls to tell him to cook dinner since I would not be able to cook until 6:30 (and we don't do fast food most of the time--very rarely). We do Dinner Station instead.

So the good news is that he had cooked the Dinner Station by about the time I got back, but by the time I hung up the leftover consignment clothes and picked up all the clean clothes off the floor of Miranda's closet and laid out some "Let It Snow" shirts for her to wear that she can't possibly wear after March 1 in Texas, and found her "money box" since she has bookfair tomorrow and and and--well, they had already finished dinner and he was going back upstairs on the conference call(I doubt if he ever got off it while cooking--it's a good thing he's one of those rare males who can multitask--the advantages of ADD!!)

Well, we don't know that he's ADD but we just suspect. Our whole house is ADD house. I think that Miranda and I are ADD too but we are better at hiding it. Our pefectionist tendencies come out instead. I managed to get through school pretty well and didn't realize I was ADD until recently, after reading some books on it and self-diagnosing. But when you have two ADD parents and identical biological twins--well, maybe we should have adopted after all.

We are seriously considering designing our SCA devices now that we both have our Awards of Arms and can have our own devices. Since R was born in the year of the Rooster according to the Chinese calendar and since he's the only male in the house (even the Westies are girls), we are thinking that he needs a Rooster on his device. Kind of like the Rooster in the henhouse, although it's not meant in a sexual way of course. But let's face it, men like to be the only Cock around. The girls and I could have hens on our devices in some form or fashion. And it plays into our favorite ADD joke, "Look, a chicken!" Also our church was founded on an old chicken farm and there is a section of the building that was all hand painted by the members, beautiful murals and rock climbing wall and what not, actually to save money on the construction (which was occurring about the time of the 9-11 recession). Anyway, because it was a chicken farm there is a chicken somewhere in the painting or decoration of every room (I think there's a rubber chicken in the kitchen for example). So the chickens tie in for us in a lot of ways.

Now that people have had roosters and such in their kitchens for a decade and it is becoming a less popular decorating motif that has filtered down to Wally-World and such, I am collecting Rooster and Chicken decorations. Bought a few in Canton at a Mexican restaurant when I was last there on retreat, and so on. Bought one on clearance at Hancock Fabrics (yet another Cock in my life!) And so on. I used to collect Architectural Digests and Decorator books and I even looked into becoming an Interior Designer in my spare time although I'm hardly flakey or artistic enough, but then we moved to the House on the Hill. And my husband got laid off four months after we moved here when his company closed their Dallas office, and had to work contract jobs for a year, and then he got laid off again afater 9-11 and had to take a pay cut after 7 months of trying to get back to a management job in Information Technologies, so anyway, the last room I actually decorated was the downstairs bathroom. From Kohl's clearance. In 2000. You think I'm kidding. Fortunately I have really nice stuff from the Days With Money, such as mahoghany furniture purchased in Canton and antiques from King Street in Charleston (that was our honeymoon, $300 candlesticks and such--ah, well, those were the days! What I couldn't do around here with about $20,000!!!)

So I have sold and given away the decorator books, which are out of date anyway. In fact, Half Price even told me they were composting them and I said, "Just pay me a pittance and don't tell me. I don't want to know." They even composted some of the old Martha Stewarts that I was getting rid of. I used to have all of her magazines from the very beginning but I got rid of them when we moved because with twins and no money, what was the point? But I recently picked up the back issues (most of them) for 2009 at Half Price and I am thinking it may be time to subscribe again. Especially since I am really contemplating buying that $23 set of Martha Stewart glitter (about 16 vials!) that is prominently featured in the magazine and on the scrapbooking aisle at Wally-World. Boy, I bet she is glad that her Kmart deal finally expired--she backed the wrong horse on that one.

So, what is the theme today again? Oh yes, the Terrible, Horrible No Good Very Bad Morning. Well, they said there was a 75% chance of snow. Now I knew the school district would probably not CANCEL school because they've already used up their two snow days (you folks up north and in Virginia have a good chuckle over that). So, I thought we would be going in late. I watched the ice dancing with my kids until at 10:30 they finally decided they were too bored to watch any more (Amelia was doing her homework until 9). She also had an endocrine appointment this morning in Dallas and R takes her, but we had a big argument about 2 am because I didn't want him to take her if it was icy, and these appointments are made 3 months in advance. They are impossible to get and she really needs to go in, but I did not want them in a ten car pile up on 35 this am.

So, I watched the ice dancing until I fell asleep (saw Canada and the US team that medaled but still have not seen the other US team or the Russians--tried again at 3am, hope it's on the DVR). And R tried to sleep for a while from about 1 to 2 am and then got paged and went back upstairs. That's the last thing I remember until about 7 am when he is waking me shouting, "It didn't snow! Get up, get up! The Alarm didn't go off!"

I don't set my alarm because it doesn't work well and I get up naturally between 4 and 5 am anyway, just like my mom used to. His alarm and his cell phone go off and if he doesn't get up (which he usually does) I go wake him and the kids around 6:30. I already have the coffee on and I've usually already done my blog post although I am a bit off schedule this week. But it's really hard to get up at 5 am when you went to sleep about 3 am (I was sewing for Gulf Wars until about 2 am). And now I SO NEED A NAP! And I have DI again today, maybe. If it doesn't snow and the kids don't get out of school early and if I can figure out how to have it when the kids are all sugared up from their delayed Valentine's Day party which is today.

So, Amelia and Miranda are getting up late. Miranda is freaking out and wanting to ride her bike (the tires are flat right now), even though it is snowing and I don't even know if she fits on the damn thing. She doesn't want to be tardy. Amelia is sitting wrapped up in a blanket staring into space. She doesn't wake up very quickly because she's a night owl and she doesn't sleep terribly well, like her dad, so she's a bit of a zombie in the morning. He can be too but because he's a grownup he has learned to overcome it most of the time.

M gets dressed, down the stairs in her Valentines' day shirt, eating breakfast, packing up her Valentines and her teacher gift (thank God these things are finally leaving my kitchen!!!) She has Bookfair today so she is checking to see that she has her bookfair money and I am fixing her instant grits and milk.

I got R to move the car inside the garage last night after moving the backdrop props from DI out of the garage and into my front hall, which you can barely walk through right now what with the Viking clay jewelry and fabric and DI backdrops and scrapbooking and the good dishes are still out on the dining room table from New year's/Valentine's Day, mostly to keep me and anyone else from putting other crap on the table. Maybe if I dust them I can keep them out until his birthday on April 6 and 7. I will explain that one some other time.

So now of course he decides to drive the Van to the doctor because it has better tires and traction control, which makes sense of course but I wish he had considered this last night--oh wait, we were cleaning up the garage and moving the car in while he was on his conference call and it was unlikely that the van would have fit back in the garage anyway--- so of course NOW he has to scrape the van. Fortunately we own a scraper that is from my law school days, because you can't buy them out here in Texas. No one stocks them. Or chains. Sometimes rock salt but usually you use sand or kitty litter out here. No snow shovels. No sleds. My kids have never been on a sled and when I got them Crissa the AG doll and her winter fun outfit with the little round coaster (I don't even remember myself what they are called but I had one, and I saw a picture recently on FB of Bryan Stephenson on one!) Well, anyway, when I got them this doll, they didn't even know what the coaster was for. Sad, sad, sad!!! But at least it's easier on my eczema.

Then he comes in and I am trying to email the teachers about Amelia's appointment and what she wants for lunch so they can order it. I hear R yelling at A upstairs--why are you just sitting there! Your appointment is this morning! I go back to the email of the teachers, get interrupted again. A finally comes downstairs in leggings and a shirt that is above her rear (in other words, not appropriate for school--this kid has the cutest clothes in the world but absolutely no fashion boundaries). I tell her to put her Valentine's gift for her teacher in her backpack but too late, she has dropped it on the floor. Since it's three Valentine's Day candleholders from Wally-World one is now broken. Fortunately I bought myself a set so I can sub out the one broken one after they leave and take it over to school later. I already have to go to the Valentine's Day parties to take pictures and to the bookfair, ,which ends tomorrow, to return the book light A got that doesn't work (the batteries, included, are dead). Don't know what to do about this little thing but I really just want my $8 back. Now I need to repack the gift after they leave and give up one of my little tchotkey candle holders.

So they go to school, probably on time. Then R is back with Amelia--she forgot her glasses. She didn't take her medication. She didn't use her steroid inhaler. She probably didn't brush her teeth, her hair or use deoderant either so God knows what they will think down at the endocrine office because she didn't take a bath last night either--maybe they will think he is a single parent. I am afraid I have been very neglectful of her in the last 24 hours but she is 10--she ought to be able to at least remember her glasses, which she has worn since 2nd grade.

I get her a pair of pants to put over her leggings in the car (two choices because of course I know she won't like one). She did take a coat. I make sure she has her valentines. I agree to bring the gift to the party (OK, now I really do have to go). I make sure she has her M & M's for the party and remind her that they are peanut so to tell the moms not to serve them if there are any peanut allergies (they were out of regular when I bought them two weeks ago at the last minute because I hadn't actually volunteered to bring anything. They were supposed to be for M's party but I saw on Friday that they already had their m & m's and we already ate one of the bags anyway so I will send them to A's party--I have found that if I just lay back and don't volunteer right away like all the other perky moms I can usually get away with not sending anything for the parties but I do feel a little guilty--I was a room mom in kindergarten and was really gung ho. What happened???) Well, more about that later, but let's just say I'm not room mom material.

They finally head out to the appointment after 8 and I remind my husband to take it slow and not rush, and call to say that they are on their way but will be late because of the weather. I hope he takes my advice and slows down to 70 or so--he's a notorious speeder. He will probably be careful today. Then I send them on their way. A has her glasses, her meds, her breakfast to eat in the car because she didn't have time to eat her grits, even her milk (I think she took it--I guess I will go drink it in a minute if not). She has her backpack. She has her Valentines. She has her assignment for later. I have her gift and the item that goes back to the Bookfair. Geez, I'm going to be doing this stuff for this kid until she's about 25, I guess. Maybe even though they are twins I can send them to college at different times--I would probably have a better result. R didn't go to college until later and it was probably the best thing for him too. In fact, he is five years older than I am and he didn't graduate from college until 1986, the same year I graduated from law school. He was WORKING in the 70's!!! We joke about this a lot because he LIVED the disco era--I was just in high school. He was out in the bars listening to a lot of really bad music. He doesn't dance much (bad knees, you know) but if he does, it ain't to disco!

Pleasant Valley Mom YAWNING>>>>>OK, just heard from R. They are there on time. Now I can go back to bed with the doggies.



And people wonder why I don't work full time?????????

The Gulf War Meltdown, or Snow Days in North Texas

Six inches of snow on the ground in North Texas and I just can't catch a break! Boy, snow days sure exhaust this Pleasant Valley mom.

It started snowing last night about 2 am and I didn't even notice what it was doing when I was up doing my blogging thing. About 5 minutes after I quit, I went to get the girls up, and THEN I looked out the window. I no longer watch the news and I rarely watch the weather, but even I knew it was probably going to do something--but what?

Our school district won't make a closure decision until 6:45 and sure enough, I was back on line when the emailed update came through. The snow was pouring down. Robert decided to work from home. The kids got too excited to go back to bed but I made them wait until 8 am to go out (I tried to go back to bed but to no avail. Unlike the rest of them I get up between 4 and 5 am lately with no alarm clock--just like my mom used to do).

Well it snowed and it snowed and it snowed and it snowed. At least six inches and still coming down. It doesn't usually snow like that in North Texas. At 8:15 precisely the girls were ready to come back in. The snow was very wet and sticky, because the temperature was hovering right around 32 degrees. Also we have no waterproof gloves, boots or pants other than a pair of rainboots that are 2 years old. We don't ski or visit winter climates (doesn't agree with R's knees or my ecsema)so we don't have any ski clothes or other proper winter playclothes. Other than possibly getting some more rain boots (which I won't be doing today), our gloves and hats and things are quickly soaked in a snow like this. Amelia in particular doesn't last very long, poor baby! I don't even go out in it. R has some old waterproof gloves so he can clean off the car and such, but not me.

Our cars, of course, are BOTH in the driveway covered with snow because it's Destination Imagination season, plus we are still reorganizing our camping equipment and getting ready for Gulf War (we almost finished the reorganization last fall but Christmas intervened, and it's been too cold to hang out in the garage much lately). Hope it warms up by Saturday because we have a big event in Athens to go to (Kingdom A & S), and then there's also a DI work session on Monday! Pray for nice weather because I am just not going to allow six fourth graders to paint backdrops in my foyer (they might get paint on the fifty pounds of fabric sitting out there!)

We don't own a snowblower or a snow shovel because some winters it doesn't snow at all and it usually stays less than 24 hours. I don't know about this one though. I made R go out and move the van a bit and shake some of the snow off the trees, in a rare break from his work (I never saw someone work so much on a snowday!) I stood on the porch and in the back and took a few photos with the old camera, because I put the better one down in the house somewhere during DI practice this weekend, and now I can't find it. Maybe it's in the Scouts stuff from Monday--I literally just remembered as I am sitting here writing.

So the girls are literally soaking wet by 8:15 and I am putting the wet clothes in garbage bags because Thursday is the secondary laundry day around here. Monday is primary laundry day, but by Thursday there are 3-4 MORE loads of crap to wash, so Thursday is secondary laundry day. When I miss one of these days there is hell to pay until the next one. Since I got my fleece for Gulf War cloaks on Tuesday, I washed all of that stuff between Tues and Weds (total of 35 YARDS! Some of it is for blankets though). Anyway, I am doing about 15 loads this week with the extra fabric for Gulf War. And people wonder what I do all day?

Then I am freaking out trying to get some hot chocolate or grits or something down these little girls, and it's 8:20, and you know who is already up in the office working! So I am trying to get him downstairs to eat too so I can get some eggs cooked. R is the official breakfast cooker--he cooks eggs, pancakes and french toast and usually uses his cast iron skillets. I don't touch the cast iron skillets--they have bad karma for me. Every time I touch one of them, something happens and it gets rust on it that has to be polished off, so I leave them both the hell alone. That's what happens when you integrate someone else's pots and pans into your kitchen. Those damn things have been in my cabinets 17 years now, and they make fabulous food for him, but they hate me. They leave rust spots on my shelf liner paper just to mock me. "Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah! You can't cook with cast IR-ON!"

So, R FINALLY comes downstairs and agrees to fix some eggs although he reminds me about 40 times that it is a WORKDAY for him (yes, and I will be painting my toe nails and eating bon bons all day like usual, in between the 15 loads of laundry of course).

I am rapidly losing my patience with the three muskateers (my husband and the two kids) as I mentally tick off the things I need to get done before Saturday: finish making Valentine's cards with the new Cricut I got for Christmas (can't afford to buy cards since I just spent all that money on a die cut machine!!). Finish birthday card for Tanya for Sunday's birthday party (wrapped Zhu Zhu pets already at midnight one night this week). Cut out at least one clothing item each day for Gulf War using the patterns Viviana made for us. Sew something and finish something that will be used at Gulf War. Paint puzzles for MOC on Saturday because they need to dry by Friday. Paint black star on MOC floor cloth for tic tac toe game. Clean out MOC tubs for Saturday and get stuff together for Kingdom A & S. Get garb ready for four people (or at least three) for Kingdom A & S. Get SWAPS counted and coins rolled for Thinking Day Feb 20th (maybe kids can do this with supervision). Get Miranda to research her St. Valentine's presentation for Kingdom A & S. Bribe at least one child to do Environmental Contest, due Monday, with promises of money in allowance account (I keep their allowance account on paper so that I can make additions and deductions all the time without going to the bank). Work on presentation board for Thinking Day and see what is missing about the country Colombia from the research the Scouts already did. Oh, do six loads of laundry. clean bathrooms upstairs and make sure upstairs doesn't get trashed, because we have two girls coming over Sun night for a sleepover and we will be gone all day Sat. And I don't do housework on Valentine's Day. Call PTA mom re book presentations for Friday to find out what she will do if school is delayed start tomorrow.

The list continues: Call other mom re Destination Imagination t shirt order that is due Fri--did she get it? I left it under the front porch mat yesterday (chat with her 20 minutes about DI and Freecycle once I get her on phone--other mom never calls back--she actually went to an EYE appointment in all this mess--her hubby took the message but I bet he forgot to give it to her). You always have to call twice if the husband answers the phone--they never give the message to the mom. My husband is guilty of the same thing on more than one occasion. And if one of them does slip up and give the mom the message it's almost always garbled or wrong. In fact, I send this mom an email later for clarification purposes. I have learned the hard way in years past--these suburban husbands would never make it as receptionists. Their hearing has developed over time into "selective messaging" mode so they can tune out their wives.

More of my to do list: Iron and tag all consignment clothes--dropoff is Feb 19th, which is going to be a busy day since ARD meeting for Amelia is that morning and possibly rescheduled book presentations. Not washing the damn things again--they were washed when put in the plastic bins,stored in a closet, and they are clean enough. Need to print consignment tags while R is here so technical difficulties, if any, can be resolved. Sew some more for Gulf War. Feed kids and husband. Clean up after kids and husband. Cut out more clothes for Gulf War. Etc. Etc. Etc. I am really stressed out right now, you know????

So, I start to delegate. Husband is out of pocket; back in office because it's a WORKDAY for him. The girls want me to sit and watch Robin HOod DVDs. I say, I will after I cut out something for Gulf War and do some painting. Maybe you could help by hemming those little Viking dresses Viv made you? I can show you how. Major whining. It's our day off--we want to play and have fun. We don't want to sew. Sewing is work.

"Well, how about if you guys roll some more coins for me for Thinking Day? (Oh, good, they did finish that with R last night). Then, could you count these SWAPS (Some Whatchamacallits Pinned Affectionately Somewhere)." SWAPS are traded in Girl Scouts and each country has one for Thinking Day. Our country is Colombia. We need 270 for Thinking Day. Now, these were handed out to the 10 girls last week and they did bring them back, but several ran out of coffee beans and didn't finish their packs. A count reveals we have 242 so I am trying to get M and A to make the other 28. It's pretty easy: stick coffee beans and a label in a jewelry bag and add a pin. But M doesn't want to do the pins: "Mommy, will you do the pins for me?" So I do SWAP pins for 30 minutes with Disney Channel blaring in my ear.

Then I work on painting one side of these cool puzzles that Lady Stephanie Lillburn made. I want to paint one side to make them more colorful so they will appeal to the kids at MOC, but I want the edges and the other side left natural so you can see the wood grain. This is an interesting feat and as I am trying to do it mostly with foam brushes in my front foyer (yes, I am allowed to paint there and only me)--well, it's not the best job but they actually look very good. Try to get hubby's consultation on what to paint and how since he's the woodworker, but he doesn't want to come downstairs because of his knees and because he's WORKING. Painted mouse puzzle, pig puzzle, two small and one large dragon. After drying, I accented them with marker. They don't look totally professional--but not bad.

Then I cut out a navy dress for Gulf War. Kids are upstairs playing somewhere. I go back in the family room to put away the SWAPS, I change the laundry, yada yada yada.

Pretty soon it's noon and everyone says they aren't hungry (well, R says nothing because he's on a conference call). I am starting to lose it. I am working my ass off and everyone else is ignoring me, like I'm the maid.

I fix lunch for me and go lay down to watch a movie and maybe sew. M wants to go outside again. I get her bundled up and leave bags and stuff by both doors with instructions that coat is to be hung up and wet stuff put in bags. I fall asleep watching movie--I did get up at 3 am last night so I am pretty tired by now. Oh, let the doggies out and then get the clumps of ice off of them. Twice. Put away some laundry. M is yelling that she ran hot water on her feet and now she hurts--what time is it??? 2 pm????? Did anyone eat lunch???? There is wet stuff including coats all over the foyer. Water running in rivulets down the tile, and now the floor is trashed and I can't cut stuff out on it. Wet towels everywhere. Kid yelling upstairs. Hubby incommunicado.

I make M get dressed and A get dressed too. She apparently went outside and went through clothing set number 2 and now she is complaining that she has no clean clothes. I LOSE it because they are supposed to bring their own laundry down, and I am the one that did it this morning since I noticed that they hadn't put their clothes away from Monday and the hamper was full again with dirty clothes since Monday.

Kids find something to wear. I give them hot grits and hot chocolate--don't feel like fixing another lunch. R still has not eaten I don't think--not sure. I yell and scream at kids who won't sew and want to play all day. "Mommy," says Amelia, "why are you being so mean???" But I am on the warpath. They have trashed upstairs too and I don't have time to clean it tomorrow if they are in school. I make the go upstairs to clean up playroom, make beds. I show them how to clean the bathroom by cleaning the downstairs one and give them the bathroom stuff for their two bathrooms upstairs. That will keep them busy for a while so I can go work on laundry and take a shower.

I pile all of Hubby's laundry on his side of the bed. That way he has to put it away before he can sit down and watch TV. I am getting really pissed--there is so much crap all over the bedroom that I couldn't clean it if I had 10 days. I even stack up some papers and things he keeps moving around the room. My mom would throw them away but it's woodworking stuff so I don't want to do that. I spend an hour or more putting away my clothes and getting hangers for the laundry room, and changing laundry over etc. etc. Then, finally about 4 pm, I take a shower. Of course the shower really needs cleaning but I can't see that well in there without my glasses, so I ignore it. People banging on the locked bedroom door while I am trying to comb out my hair, with bathroom cleaning questions.: "Go ask Daddy!!!"

When Husband resurfaces I inform him that I am not cooking tonight but I am sewing instead. There is a steak thawed out and mashed potatos he can heat up plus salad. I am having soup (can't chew much until I get this dental work done which will probably not be until next week with all this snow). I tell him about steak and such. I go and play on computer for a while and read Facebook. I go and sew.

I tell all three of them that if they are watching TV, from now through Gulf Wars, I want them sewing something. I have HAD it. If they can't sew their clothes then they can wear them unhemmed and unfinished. R leaves me alone on the computer while he grudgingly cooks dinner (he conveniently forgets about the steak and does leftovers so he has less to clean up). Kids are hungry and whiny since I didn't feed them properly today, but they wouldn't eat when I offered, and you would think they could learn to fix a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or two.

Finally around 8 pm I get my way: Family time! H is sewing on his blue hat (after all, he told the girls this morning how the men sew in the SCA--so now I am making him do it!!!) Amelia takes to the sewing just fine and completes her hem but Miranda whines and only does about 3 inches. She is really really tired. We watch a few episodes of Robin Hood. I sew something else for Gulf War and actually finish it (it's only a cloth for my basket, but it's something!) I do have to help the other three-well at least the girls-- with the sewing as well, after all. All I have to do with R is keep handing him various magnification devices because he is having trouble seeing the navy thread on the navy hat.

It's still snowing, mixed with a little sleet. They actually cancelled school again for tomorrow. I've never seen it cancelled two days in a row. No book presentations; no Valentines' parties; no Lightning Thief field trip Friday afternoon. I guess we will be squeezing these into my "workweek" next week while I am trying to finsh Scouts and Consignment. It will be icy in the morning; in fact R says that there is no point in shoveling the snow away because it provides some traction if we need to get out. There will be a layer of ice underneath the snow on the driveway--he is actually correct about this, not just trying to get out of it. The road will be a solid sheet of ice though, and we live in the house on the hill. So we are not going anywhere for a while. Hopefully it will be clear tomorrow so we can go to Kingdom A & S.

Oh, Crap! I'm stuck with them all again tomorrow, and it's another WORKDAY for R. I guess I should get the bonbons and the toenail polish out. Oh, wait. I'm out of bonbons (what is a bonbon anyway?) and I haven't painted my toenails since spring 2009 (last formal pedicure). Remind me to write about how I am SO not a spa girl tomorrow.

Plesant Valley Mom signing off(exhausted and looking forward to maybe not doing anything much for Valentine's Day--except Gulf War sewing!!!) OK, do you see why the Tolkien discussion is STILL on the back burner????