The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Morning

Well, this was indeed the Morning from Hell.

This is probably because it was the night from hell. R had to work on something from the time he got home until, basically, 3 am. So when he got home he was plugged into a conference call (his phone fits on his ear like a Borg implant). I had to leave at 5:15 to go pick up consignment and I sent one of the girls to tell him to cook dinner since I would not be able to cook until 6:30 (and we don't do fast food most of the time--very rarely). We do Dinner Station instead.

So the good news is that he had cooked the Dinner Station by about the time I got back, but by the time I hung up the leftover consignment clothes and picked up all the clean clothes off the floor of Miranda's closet and laid out some "Let It Snow" shirts for her to wear that she can't possibly wear after March 1 in Texas, and found her "money box" since she has bookfair tomorrow and and and--well, they had already finished dinner and he was going back upstairs on the conference call(I doubt if he ever got off it while cooking--it's a good thing he's one of those rare males who can multitask--the advantages of ADD!!)

Well, we don't know that he's ADD but we just suspect. Our whole house is ADD house. I think that Miranda and I are ADD too but we are better at hiding it. Our pefectionist tendencies come out instead. I managed to get through school pretty well and didn't realize I was ADD until recently, after reading some books on it and self-diagnosing. But when you have two ADD parents and identical biological twins--well, maybe we should have adopted after all.

We are seriously considering designing our SCA devices now that we both have our Awards of Arms and can have our own devices. Since R was born in the year of the Rooster according to the Chinese calendar and since he's the only male in the house (even the Westies are girls), we are thinking that he needs a Rooster on his device. Kind of like the Rooster in the henhouse, although it's not meant in a sexual way of course. But let's face it, men like to be the only Cock around. The girls and I could have hens on our devices in some form or fashion. And it plays into our favorite ADD joke, "Look, a chicken!" Also our church was founded on an old chicken farm and there is a section of the building that was all hand painted by the members, beautiful murals and rock climbing wall and what not, actually to save money on the construction (which was occurring about the time of the 9-11 recession). Anyway, because it was a chicken farm there is a chicken somewhere in the painting or decoration of every room (I think there's a rubber chicken in the kitchen for example). So the chickens tie in for us in a lot of ways.

Now that people have had roosters and such in their kitchens for a decade and it is becoming a less popular decorating motif that has filtered down to Wally-World and such, I am collecting Rooster and Chicken decorations. Bought a few in Canton at a Mexican restaurant when I was last there on retreat, and so on. Bought one on clearance at Hancock Fabrics (yet another Cock in my life!) And so on. I used to collect Architectural Digests and Decorator books and I even looked into becoming an Interior Designer in my spare time although I'm hardly flakey or artistic enough, but then we moved to the House on the Hill. And my husband got laid off four months after we moved here when his company closed their Dallas office, and had to work contract jobs for a year, and then he got laid off again afater 9-11 and had to take a pay cut after 7 months of trying to get back to a management job in Information Technologies, so anyway, the last room I actually decorated was the downstairs bathroom. From Kohl's clearance. In 2000. You think I'm kidding. Fortunately I have really nice stuff from the Days With Money, such as mahoghany furniture purchased in Canton and antiques from King Street in Charleston (that was our honeymoon, $300 candlesticks and such--ah, well, those were the days! What I couldn't do around here with about $20,000!!!)

So I have sold and given away the decorator books, which are out of date anyway. In fact, Half Price even told me they were composting them and I said, "Just pay me a pittance and don't tell me. I don't want to know." They even composted some of the old Martha Stewarts that I was getting rid of. I used to have all of her magazines from the very beginning but I got rid of them when we moved because with twins and no money, what was the point? But I recently picked up the back issues (most of them) for 2009 at Half Price and I am thinking it may be time to subscribe again. Especially since I am really contemplating buying that $23 set of Martha Stewart glitter (about 16 vials!) that is prominently featured in the magazine and on the scrapbooking aisle at Wally-World. Boy, I bet she is glad that her Kmart deal finally expired--she backed the wrong horse on that one.

So, what is the theme today again? Oh yes, the Terrible, Horrible No Good Very Bad Morning. Well, they said there was a 75% chance of snow. Now I knew the school district would probably not CANCEL school because they've already used up their two snow days (you folks up north and in Virginia have a good chuckle over that). So, I thought we would be going in late. I watched the ice dancing with my kids until at 10:30 they finally decided they were too bored to watch any more (Amelia was doing her homework until 9). She also had an endocrine appointment this morning in Dallas and R takes her, but we had a big argument about 2 am because I didn't want him to take her if it was icy, and these appointments are made 3 months in advance. They are impossible to get and she really needs to go in, but I did not want them in a ten car pile up on 35 this am.

So, I watched the ice dancing until I fell asleep (saw Canada and the US team that medaled but still have not seen the other US team or the Russians--tried again at 3am, hope it's on the DVR). And R tried to sleep for a while from about 1 to 2 am and then got paged and went back upstairs. That's the last thing I remember until about 7 am when he is waking me shouting, "It didn't snow! Get up, get up! The Alarm didn't go off!"

I don't set my alarm because it doesn't work well and I get up naturally between 4 and 5 am anyway, just like my mom used to. His alarm and his cell phone go off and if he doesn't get up (which he usually does) I go wake him and the kids around 6:30. I already have the coffee on and I've usually already done my blog post although I am a bit off schedule this week. But it's really hard to get up at 5 am when you went to sleep about 3 am (I was sewing for Gulf Wars until about 2 am). And now I SO NEED A NAP! And I have DI again today, maybe. If it doesn't snow and the kids don't get out of school early and if I can figure out how to have it when the kids are all sugared up from their delayed Valentine's Day party which is today.

So, Amelia and Miranda are getting up late. Miranda is freaking out and wanting to ride her bike (the tires are flat right now), even though it is snowing and I don't even know if she fits on the damn thing. She doesn't want to be tardy. Amelia is sitting wrapped up in a blanket staring into space. She doesn't wake up very quickly because she's a night owl and she doesn't sleep terribly well, like her dad, so she's a bit of a zombie in the morning. He can be too but because he's a grownup he has learned to overcome it most of the time.

M gets dressed, down the stairs in her Valentines' day shirt, eating breakfast, packing up her Valentines and her teacher gift (thank God these things are finally leaving my kitchen!!!) She has Bookfair today so she is checking to see that she has her bookfair money and I am fixing her instant grits and milk.

I got R to move the car inside the garage last night after moving the backdrop props from DI out of the garage and into my front hall, which you can barely walk through right now what with the Viking clay jewelry and fabric and DI backdrops and scrapbooking and the good dishes are still out on the dining room table from New year's/Valentine's Day, mostly to keep me and anyone else from putting other crap on the table. Maybe if I dust them I can keep them out until his birthday on April 6 and 7. I will explain that one some other time.

So now of course he decides to drive the Van to the doctor because it has better tires and traction control, which makes sense of course but I wish he had considered this last night--oh wait, we were cleaning up the garage and moving the car in while he was on his conference call and it was unlikely that the van would have fit back in the garage anyway--- so of course NOW he has to scrape the van. Fortunately we own a scraper that is from my law school days, because you can't buy them out here in Texas. No one stocks them. Or chains. Sometimes rock salt but usually you use sand or kitty litter out here. No snow shovels. No sleds. My kids have never been on a sled and when I got them Crissa the AG doll and her winter fun outfit with the little round coaster (I don't even remember myself what they are called but I had one, and I saw a picture recently on FB of Bryan Stephenson on one!) Well, anyway, when I got them this doll, they didn't even know what the coaster was for. Sad, sad, sad!!! But at least it's easier on my eczema.

Then he comes in and I am trying to email the teachers about Amelia's appointment and what she wants for lunch so they can order it. I hear R yelling at A upstairs--why are you just sitting there! Your appointment is this morning! I go back to the email of the teachers, get interrupted again. A finally comes downstairs in leggings and a shirt that is above her rear (in other words, not appropriate for school--this kid has the cutest clothes in the world but absolutely no fashion boundaries). I tell her to put her Valentine's gift for her teacher in her backpack but too late, she has dropped it on the floor. Since it's three Valentine's Day candleholders from Wally-World one is now broken. Fortunately I bought myself a set so I can sub out the one broken one after they leave and take it over to school later. I already have to go to the Valentine's Day parties to take pictures and to the bookfair, ,which ends tomorrow, to return the book light A got that doesn't work (the batteries, included, are dead). Don't know what to do about this little thing but I really just want my $8 back. Now I need to repack the gift after they leave and give up one of my little tchotkey candle holders.

So they go to school, probably on time. Then R is back with Amelia--she forgot her glasses. She didn't take her medication. She didn't use her steroid inhaler. She probably didn't brush her teeth, her hair or use deoderant either so God knows what they will think down at the endocrine office because she didn't take a bath last night either--maybe they will think he is a single parent. I am afraid I have been very neglectful of her in the last 24 hours but she is 10--she ought to be able to at least remember her glasses, which she has worn since 2nd grade.

I get her a pair of pants to put over her leggings in the car (two choices because of course I know she won't like one). She did take a coat. I make sure she has her valentines. I agree to bring the gift to the party (OK, now I really do have to go). I make sure she has her M & M's for the party and remind her that they are peanut so to tell the moms not to serve them if there are any peanut allergies (they were out of regular when I bought them two weeks ago at the last minute because I hadn't actually volunteered to bring anything. They were supposed to be for M's party but I saw on Friday that they already had their m & m's and we already ate one of the bags anyway so I will send them to A's party--I have found that if I just lay back and don't volunteer right away like all the other perky moms I can usually get away with not sending anything for the parties but I do feel a little guilty--I was a room mom in kindergarten and was really gung ho. What happened???) Well, more about that later, but let's just say I'm not room mom material.

They finally head out to the appointment after 8 and I remind my husband to take it slow and not rush, and call to say that they are on their way but will be late because of the weather. I hope he takes my advice and slows down to 70 or so--he's a notorious speeder. He will probably be careful today. Then I send them on their way. A has her glasses, her meds, her breakfast to eat in the car because she didn't have time to eat her grits, even her milk (I think she took it--I guess I will go drink it in a minute if not). She has her backpack. She has her Valentines. She has her assignment for later. I have her gift and the item that goes back to the Bookfair. Geez, I'm going to be doing this stuff for this kid until she's about 25, I guess. Maybe even though they are twins I can send them to college at different times--I would probably have a better result. R didn't go to college until later and it was probably the best thing for him too. In fact, he is five years older than I am and he didn't graduate from college until 1986, the same year I graduated from law school. He was WORKING in the 70's!!! We joke about this a lot because he LIVED the disco era--I was just in high school. He was out in the bars listening to a lot of really bad music. He doesn't dance much (bad knees, you know) but if he does, it ain't to disco!

Pleasant Valley Mom YAWNING>>>>>OK, just heard from R. They are there on time. Now I can go back to bed with the doggies.



And people wonder why I don't work full time?????????

Super Bowl Chickens

OK, I did give in and watch the Super Bowl on Sunday. My husband has been waiting 43 years for this game. I was running late with the food so I missed the first 30 minutes and a lot of the commercials and let him be a couch potato (after all, 43 years is a long time).

I did note, however, a number of commercials involving Chickens!! So what is with the chickens anway? I wish I could tell you that I remember what they actually did in the commercials or what product they were actually advertising, but like I said, I was too busy being the Kitchen Wench.

What is it about the chickens?

IN fact, Chickens are the symbol of ADHD (in fact, there are shirts for ADHD people that say, "Look! A Chicken!") People who are ADHD and ADD are easily distracted, like by chickens on the side of the road. They move rapidly from one unfinished project to another. Come look at my house and you will get the idea.

One of our daughters is ADHD or at least ADD, but we have decided that we are actually ALL ADD or ADHD here in the Wilson home. It just manifests itself differently in all of us. Some of us are more competent than others at hiding their disorders; however, mine is in full view. There is a stack of fabric in the living room next to a big SCA pile of stuff for Ministry of Children and Gulf Wars. There is a pile of unfinished leatherwork in the bedroom (well, it used to be an unfinished kumihimo loom and a bunch of beebees and a scale, so things are improving). There is still a Barbie group on a table in the foyer although it is getting smaller. There are pieces of snowmen on the scrapbooking table that are starting to get dusty as they have been there for two weeks. There are scrapbook bags and things all over the dining room, which is also home to Girl Scout Thinking Day materials. There are bins of DI materials all over the family room and garage, which is also home to DI despite the cold and rain. There are bins of consignment materials in the downstairs office. The Beanie Baby bins just went back upstairs--I'm not dealing with them right now.

In other words, it looks like a bomb exploded and left crap all over the house instead of shrapnel. Other than the fact that it doesn't smell like cats, you walk in and say, "Oh, SCA house!" But then the SCA folks don't usually have all the consignment and kid crap and Destination Imagination and Scrapbooking and Scout Crap and....Yikes! It's actually WORSE than an SCA house. At least the toilets are clean. Well, at least the toilet that guests use is clean.

It's a good thing I can't afford a maid right now because I could never get the house picked up enough right now for her to clean it. If you are planning on visiting us, please give us at least 30 days notice. I'm not kidding. If you want us to entertain, 45 days notice would not be unreasonable.

This is not a scientific dianosis and I don't mean to make fun of those of you who have such a diagonsis. bu we really are an ADHD House. Well, Amelia actually has the diagnosis, but I wanted her to get it it so that she could get extra help and accomodations in school. It wasn't hard-I just filled out the questionnaire honestly, and about 50% of all kids could qualify. However, after reading about three or four books on ADHD as I usually do when I need to learn about something new, I have come to the following conclusions:

1. If you are very smart you are probably ADD or ADHD.
2. If you are very creative you are probably ADD or ADHD.
3. If you are productive sometimes and other times, it's just a CF (email me privately if you don't know what I mean), then you are probably ADD or ADHD.
4. If you have a lot of energy sometimes, and then you just don't, you are probably ADD or ADHD (unless you are manic-depressive, of course!)
5. If some days you are firing on all cylinders and on other days you can't remember your own name, you are probably ADD or ADHD.
6. If you are a perfectionist you also are probably ADD or ADHD but no one may ever know it, and you may be able to avoid being medicated. In other words, you overcompensate for your disorder.

So in other words, I expect that most of you reading this fall into one of the above categories, if not more than one. Welcome to the Chicken house!

We have not designed our devices for the SCA yet but we are thinking that my husband needs a Rooster on his (he is also born in the Chinese year of the Rooster) and then the girls and I need Chickens in some form or another. So he's the Rooster in the Henhouse, so to speak. (Of course if you are an official SCA hearald, please disregard this and believe that we would never pull such a foolish stunt on our official insignia, of course.)

So, here's to all you chickens and roosters out there! And if you can't be a chicken or rooster, hug one today!