Money Makes the World Go Round

So after I explained last week why I am not into diet and exercise right now, I think today I will tackle the subject of money, which "makes the world go 'round" as they say in a really obnoxious song (the tune is stuck in my head right now, worse than the Jonas Brothers!)

Have you noticed how our attitudes toward money have changed? Back in the 80's we wanted everyone to know how much we were spending. Look at my designer handbag. Look at my Ferrari. Of course, some people are still stuck there, but I'm not naming names.

Then in the 90's when we got into the recession, it was all about Value. I was working at JCPenney and we had "Value Right" merchandise (maybe they still do--I don't shop much any more). This was supposed to mean that you got a good value for your money (what it really meant was that the item never went on sale, so if you were an associate you had better buy it on Associate Night.)

We got a lot of towels, jewelery and other Value Right merchandise while I was an associate at Associate Nights. It was our big shopping night of the year, twice a year. I think even my engagement ring is a Value Right product that was purchased on sale at Associate Night!

You think I'm kidding. Well, at least the wedding band came from Montgomery Ward.

The REAL engagement ring is actually a very large 1 caret cubic zirconium from the Texas State Fair, and it has a really big crack in it if you look closely. It was $9in 1993 and no, we didn't notice the crack at first. But lots of people exclaimed over it and told me what a great ring it was. A month later we got the real one (definitely NOT one caret but no one was looking at my ring any more). I still have my REAL engagement ring and I have to decide which kid gets it when I die. Maybe they can sell it on Ebay. It might even bring more than $9 dollars.

But it was good to brag about our new found frugality in the 90's. "I saved 20% on this outfit!" "I clip coupons!" "I got 30% off because I bought 10 of them."

This kind of logic and bragging about what a good deal we have gotten while shopping does not work with my husband. He just says,"How much money would you have saved if you hadn't gone shopping in the first place?"

But even he falls prey to the good deal. He had to do the marketing at WallyWorld on Saturday and the only thing he bought that wasn't on the list was a new drill. It was $20 (regularly $40). Of course, he only has about 12 drills already but "it was such a good DEAL!!!!"

I don't want to hear any crap the next time I come home with clearance merchandise, like the $100 of wrapping paper and Christmas essentials that I got for about $20 at Target on December 26. Or the World Market holiday clearance food that we are still eating (75% off, mind you!)

Now that we are in a full-blown Depression, everyone is bragging about how they are getting out of debt and doing the church financial planning programs and learning how to live on less and so forth. Good for them! And these programs are wonderful if you can stick to a budget and if you don't mind accounting for every dollar all the time. But I'm a freespending lawyer with champagne taste on a beer budget. I'm not a damn accountant. You know, if I'd wanted to be a CPA, then maybe I would have taken some classes in college, you think?

I have a friend who is doing a church financial plan, and she claims that they got out of debt in six months by sticking to the plan. I asked how she did it and she says they cut out a lot of their eating out. If I heard her right, they were spending $200 to $300 per week on groceries and about $500 a month on eating out. Maybe I didn't hear her correctly, but I think anyone could get out of debt if they could eliminate $500 or so of that type of expense level!

Well, that won't work for us. We already cut way down on the eating out nine years ago. We don't eat out more than twice a month and we used to eat out three to four times a week (especially when I was working). We cut down on the eating out when Robert got laid off after 9-11 and was out of work for 7 months or more. We've actually cut it more severely since then (to twice a month down from once a week). I cook. Robert cooks. Sometimes if the kids have eaten and we aren't that hungry, we have a snack and skip meals. Breakfast for dinner is also fun every once in a while.

We also cut out the maid (at least $300 a month) and the yardwork (about $200 a month), and we cut back on Netflix by $30 a month, and we are out there shopping like everyone else for good deals on things like car insurance and Internet service. I cut out all magazine subscriptions and the only subscription we have other than Netflix ($9 a month) is a $15 a month charge from Ancestry.com so Robert can do his geneology research. We cut out the daily newspaper 18 months ago.

I did all my Christmas shopping on line with vendors who did free shipping (or I took advantage of those discounts when they came up). The only in-store shopping we did at Christmas was at Wal-Mart for some decorations to replace things that were broken, and for food. I even bought some food on line (Christmas cookies and Harry and David pears) for gifts and for us. I went to the mall ONE time to take the girls to see Santa and to use a coupon at Bath and Body Works (got $40 of stuff for $18). I made my Christmas cards out of stuff I already had. (OK, I bought a $5 pack of blank cards because I didn't have enough envelopes, and I bought a $35 Cricut cartridge to MAKE the cards with, but who's counting? Not to mention the 3 days of my time, which used to be worth $150 an hour).

(As Robert would say, "how much would you have saved by not going to Bath and Body Works at all?") I suppose next year it will be, "how much could you save by not sending Christmas cards at all?" (Lots of my friends didn't send cards now that we have Facebook).

So I am as virtuous as the next person when it comes to trimming my spending. Did I mention that all my underwear is at least five years old? I got a gift card for my birthday but I am waiting for the right item(s) to come along before I spend it. It's $50 and I had $400 in my on line shopping cart from this store(I'm waiting for the free shipping deal). Oh, wait, I cut some things and now I'm down to $200--trying to decide what $50 item to buy. I would like to get two items but I just can't seem to find anything cheap enough.

Why don't I just go to the store to use the gift card? Because I know I will spend more than the amount of the gift card if I go to the store. Since I only bought one outfit and two t-shirts last year (not counting SCA clothing, fabric, and t shirts of course), my wardrobe is looking a little shabby. But if I do my shopping on line I am not that tempted by other products and I can control my spending a lot better.

My friend the new financial planner claims they only budget $80 a month for eating out. Well, we had one of our rare meals out last night, at a "semi-nice" restaurant, and for the four of us it was $81. So I guess I am already over budget for the month.

Why was it so much? Well, it was supposed to be "kids eat free on Sunday" deal, which was one of the reasons I picked this restaurant. But my kids don't want the kids' meals any more and now that they are 11, I don't blame them. If I was a kid, by the time I got to 11 I don't think I'd ever want to eat chicken nuggets or mac n cheese again as long as I lived.

The restaurant would not give us a credit for the dollar amount of two kids' meals because "our system won't do it" and we were already seated and starving, so we said, what the heck? It's our one nice meal out this month. Kids, get what you want as long as it's not more than $10.

My husband and I each got two drinks, we got an appetizer to split with the family, I got some crab bisque soup (my favorite!) and then my kids wanted to share a soup, etc. etc. We did bring home a goody bag which I will be eating for lunch today.

You get the idea. Our tab ended up at $81 just like that. It was a great meal and I enjoyed it (although I think something was wrong with my husband's because he didn't feel so well last night and I thought he had food poisoning. It was probably just that he's not used to eating restaurant food any more). This was alarming since as usual we independently picked the same entree. Maybe it was the beer. I should rethink that goody bag for lunch, huh?

I did ask my friend what the penalty was if they went over budget for an "allocation" such as their $80 restaurant budget during the month, and she said the penalty was that they had to re-do their whole worksheet and take it from somewhere else.

Now if this system of budgeting and accounting for every penny works for her, I'm happy for her, but it wouldn't work for me. I wouldn't re-do any damn worksheet (especially for $1). I just wouldn't do the damn thing more than once, which has what has happened with every budget that I've ever attempted. I would just have $1 less for the month. I would say that I would just not buy that extra pack of gum or mints, but I never buy gum or mints.

I have a budget. It's in my head. When the shopping cart gets full at WallyWorld and it looks like there's $200 in there, get in line and cut the rest of the list (buy the things you REALLY need first). I gave my husband the list for Saturday. He left off three items that he couldn't find, bought a $20 drill and came in at $217.Not half bad for someone who only buys a big pile of groceries about three times a year.

I have a system for budgeting. It's called Pay Cash. When You Are Out of Cash, You Can't Spend Any Money! I don't have many credit cards any more and I don't use them or carry them except when we travel. They are for emergencies only.

I asked my friend the new financial planner what she does for emergencies and she said, of course, that they now have a "cash fund" I said, "Oh, so you use your debit card if you have an emergency when travelling" and I was told no, only cash. Cash Only. No credit OR debit cards. Too much of a temptation.

Well, maybe that works for her but has she ever tried to rent a car with cash? I haven't but I hear it's a real pain in the butt.

What about if you break your ankle in Arkansas at a horse ranch in the mountains when you are 50 miles from the nearest Wal Mart, and you are on COBRA but you don't know if the COBRA payment has been received or posted? Even though you just sent them a check for $2000? You don't know if you have insurance or not or if you would get reimbursed if you shelled out cash or credit at an Arkansas emergency room. You know you are "out of network." And there's no Internet to check on the COBRA status. And your cell phone isn't working in the mountains and you can't get through on the Benefits hotline. And the only credit or debit card you have with you is supposed to pay for the rest of your trip, so if you use it in the emergency room to get your ankle looked at, you don't have any way to pay the rest of your bill at the vacation resort? Did I mention the non-refundable vacation deposit of $3000? This is why you are on vacation and on COBRA at the same time.

I'm not making this up. This was my Dude Ranch Vacation 2008.

I hope you are rolling on the floor laughing, but at the time I was pretty pissed off, and we were out of painkillers and liquor (Did I mention that civilization was 50 miles away??)

It does seem pretty funny now. Only I could go to a dude ranch in the Ozarks, hike all over the damn place, ride horses, even attempt rock climbing, and then break my ankle on a flat gravel road. It didn't help that I was trying to corral my kids and chase after them when I fell. I said words that no 8 year old should ever hear, right in front of this German woman and her kids. She looked at me with new respect after that.

I now use this as an example for my kids. "Kids, there is never any reason to swear unless you break your ankle or something."

You know what I did to get out of this vacation financial crisis? Sat around with a broken ankle for five days, told everyone it was "just a bad sprain," and went to my local doctor upon my return home to save money. And I didn't even go the first day back, because I couldn't get an appointment until Tuesday! I did laundry and unpacked with my walking stick by my side. My ankle was as big as a tree stump by the time I finally got a cast on it.

Now THAT's frugality.

I dare you to top THAT ONE.

I'm a tough old broad. There's more to me than meets the eye.

By the way, after that debacle I got a new credit card!!!

PleasantValleyMom (whose ankle still hurts in the cold weather)

Sleepless and Silly but not in Seattle

I know I haven't Blogged for a while but I'm sure my friend Patty will ask me at my weekend retreat this weekend why not. So Patty, this one's for you.

Well, it's diet and exercise season, so of course it's now time for the Girl Scouts to sell cookies to all the people who are trying to lose weight. Remember, folks, they have no trans fats (the cookies, not the Girl Scouts)! You can email your cookie orders to me at......wait, I can't afford to ship them to you, so unless you are within driving distance, never mind! Or you can order some to donate to the troops and send me a check from far away.

I tried to blog every day for a while but it was exhausting, like too much exercise. So I quit cold turkey, and now I think I will try to get back into the excercise habit. Mental exercise at least. It's too damn cold even in Texas for all but the die hards to go walking outside, and my eczema is flaring up badly, so the idea of sweating (and itching) to any Oldies or Newies is not very appealing.

I have good intentions, although I don't make New Year's Resolutions. Well, I did make one this year. It was, "take better care of yourself." So I made an appointment to have a really nice facial at a toney salon here in town ($85, no less). I did this as I cashed in the massage gift certificate from my Destination Imagination team that I had been stashing away for about nine months, and it was getting ready to expire. I finally had to use it because I messed up my back putting up all those Christmas decorations! (Don't get me started on why I don't really like massages much. Ok, now that I'm older, they just piain HURT. What's relaxing about that???)

Well, the facial was supposed to happen on my birthday (Jan 2nd). For various reasons I have put it off and rescheduled it at least three times (money, snow, too busy) and I finally cancelled it for good yesterday (it was supposed to be this coming Monday) because I decided to buy some nice period clothing from a friend instead. And the van needs inspecting and the car needs a new battery, etc. etc.--well, you don't want to hear about the mundane problems of my life. I have to shell out $70 for a school field trip by Feb 1 and that's only HALF the fees. My kids want me to chaperone as well but for another $70, I think I'd rather do something else besides ride for hours in a bus full of fifth graders.

Of course, getting new clothes was one of the ways I was going to take care of myself (although new underwear would have been more practical, and I haven't bought any in several years now). Well, it's hard to get excited about buying underwear when you can buy an Elizabethan gown, now isn't it? And the gown was going to be $100, about what I would have had to spend on three new bras and some accompanying panties even at the "buy two get one free" Lane Bryant underwear sale. I am not a great seamstress and $100 for an Elizabethan gown in a color and fabric I liked seemed like the deal of the century, at least to me. Not to mention the sideless surcoat and two cotehardies and two entaries (Middle Eastern coats, probably spelled it wrong) for another $200. So, another allowance down the drain. But now I can take my time and I don't have to make five garments for each family member by Gulf Wars!!

OK, Lane Bryant doesn't really call it an Underwear Sale. It's Lingerie, remember? But Lingerie for larger sizes--well, sorry, but whether you make it out of satin, lace, or cotton, it's still Underwear. In fact, the tv networks pulled the Victoria's Secret Lingerie add for larger sizes this Christmas because the models were too "voluptuous." My husband, bless him, said at least they looked like women!

I can't start a diet or an exercise program in January. For one thing, I have several major January occasions where food is a big deal: New Year's Eve and New Year's Day, my birthday Jan 2nd, Steppes Twelfth Night, my twin daughters' birthday party, my twin daughters' birthdays, and my scrapbooking retreat. I mean, between Jan 1 and Jan 15, even when I don't get a cake for myself like this year, there are still 2 or 3 cakes lurking around because the kids get one for their party, two cookie cakes for school, and one for home. This year we are also having a Populace in the Park Potluck the end of January, and then it's just a few short weeks for us to eat our way to Valentine's Day!!! Besides, I'm still eating all that holiday clearance food I bought at World Market for 75% off the day before 12th Night! Cranberry bread and leftover chocolate, anyone? And Robert claims the peppermint cookies from Christmas are actually improving with age, so how can I throw them out??? They are getting stronger, like a good cordial.

And I can't just NOT EAT CAKE. Even Marie Antoinette thought it was a good idea.

As to exercise, there is the aforementioned eczema, and we quit our gym because we were too busy doing SCA stuff on the weekends and too busy with school, work and housework/taking care of everyone else during the week. Besides, all that working out around young thin people was making me depressed.

I used to work out in high school and college (hell, I used to RUN and do high impact aerobics for an hour and a half) but I can't do that with the messed up ankle. And with Robert's knees, you are not going to be seeing us on a ski slope, not EVER. He's lucky if he can limp upstairs and he just finished a round of steroid shots in his knee in December.

I did buy a belly dancing instruction tape from Wine and Alchemy in December, and I have tried the warm-up (which was really good), but the kids interrupted me and I didn't get a chance to do much dancing. And I WON'T be doing that in public. I'm nore interested in Middle Eastern Drumming anyway. And I got a Wii Fit dance game that the girls have tried out upstairs. They said it was easy, a piece of cake! (see, there's that cake again). That means that 15 minutes of it will probably send me to the emergency room. Especially the way my asthma is flaring up in the cold weather--I feel like a cat about to hack up a hairball just about all day long.. .

So those are all of my exercise excuses. Maybe diet modification would be easier, although I have found in the past that I really need to do both.

I know--I will cut out all soda (because of that pesky high fructose corn syrup!). I don't do artificial sweeteners so that leaves me with water and unsweetened tea. I will cut out all alcohol, especially the hard liquor (started drinking that because the beer and wine upset my stomach in the evenings but Crown and Rum are pretty smooth). Actually, our clock is broken in the family room and stuck at 5 o'clock, so in our house it's always "five o'clock somewhere!"

I will cut out all desserts and carbohydrates! No more chips. No more pasta. No more potatos. No more rice. No more white foods. OK, now that means I am eating fruit, vegetables, and protein.

Wait a minute--have you seen the price of meat lately? Especially lean chicken and pork? And there's something about WallyWorld chicken that I just can't bear. They had some spoiled or near spoiled chicken out about 8 months ago and ever since then I just can't even look at it without wanting to hurl. Seriously.

I'll become a vegetarian! (OK, now I'm down to fruits and vegetables.)

Wait a minute, those fruits are high in sugar!

Oh, darn, I I need to cut out the processed ones too. They are probably full of MSJ or hydrogenated vegetable oil or sodium. And I hear that cooking the vegetables cuts down the nutrients, so I guess I had better eat them raw.

(It's too bad that most raw vegetables give me gas.)

Maybe taking care of myself means not obsessing over food, right???

Pleasant Valley Mom (making excuses and thinking that some dried currents might taste nice now--can I eat some and still make some more cordial? The current one rocks!)

"Avatar" Leaves Me Feeling Blue, Or Why I Should Stop Buying Movies

I finally saw the big blockbuster film "Avatar" this weekend. OK, I know I'm a little behind the times here. I didn't see it in the theatre or read the reviews, although I hear that it is the top selling movie ticket of all time (even ahead of Star Wars and Jaws). It looked pretty and I figured it will probably win some Academy Awards, so I bought it. I always like to have seen at least one of the films that is nominated!!!

We don't always get around to seeing movies in the theatre unless they are movies that we can take the kids to see. Seeing a PG-13 or above movie on a Friday night involves paying $10 an hour for a babysitter or sending the kids to a Friday Night Live program and some careful planning (to make sure that you can actually see the movie and get back for the 10 pm pickup time). Not to mention the cost of the tickets, about $10 each, and the refreshments. It's not quite as bad as in the Jack in the Box commercial where the refreshments are $22, but it's almost that bad. And then you have to listen to all the noise from the other patrons, and watch them not put their cell phones away, etc. And unfortunately, when I sit down in the evening in a dark theatre, there is at least a 50% chance that I am going to fall asleep anyway, so I'm not sure it's worth the investment. I think I'd rather go out to eat or do something else.

In fact, I did fall asleep during our last movie date, which was Sherlock Holmes. Robert kept having to nudge me because I was snoring. I bought this movie later because I was sure I had missed a really great movie that I would want to see again and again. Big mistake--should have rented it. Although I think in some ways Sherlock was better than Avatar--at least it was different, although I could have lived without all the high tech flashing back through particular scenes.

I did talk my husband into going to New Moon with me on a Friday morning (he was off that day). Movie going is often just not a priority, espcially now that the DVD lag time is only a few months. He also was just about the only guy in the theatre for New Moon --most of it was filled with 30 to 50 year old moms who had come to drool over Taylor Launter and Rob Pattison. Kind of sad, really. At least I had a date! Now I liked this movie, because it followed the book fairly closely. Sometimes the dialog is insipid, but it certainly sounds real--just like the sort of things teens would say to each other. And I didn't fall asleep (a bonus of seeing a movie in the morning).

Although I must say, Avatar did keep me awake. I expect it was all the shooting in the second half. But that doesn't mean that I thought it was a really good movie. In fact, my husband and I were doing the "sledgehammer pantomime" behind the kids the whole time. As in, do we really need to bring out the sledgehammer again on this movie? (We felt the same way about the movie Crash, by the way. OK, folks, we get the message--can you please put the sledgehammer away and have some intelligent dialog or something?)

Yes, I let my kids watch Avatar, although I won't take usually them to PG-13 stuff in the theatre (except Harry Potter). The language was bad, but bad language doesn't bother me much in movies as long as it's not so thick that it totally distracts from the dialog (as it did in Crash, by the way). I guess it's because I've read Chaucer--very little fazes me. I just told the kids that I thought the bad language was inappropriate for them to use and that I'd better not hear them using it, but I guess they had to do something to turn this into a PG-13 movie. The violence was not particularly bloody and there was virtually no sex, so you have to do something to get the teenagers to attend. I may have to make another exception for Robin Hood soon, and let them see it in the theatre, although I have managed to get out of taking Amelia to see Clash of the Titans (she likes a lot of fighting in her movies).

The kids loved Avatar. In fact, I watched it TWICE with them this weekend. And the plot was about on their level. The film was definitely pretty, and the special effects were awesome. So I liked that part of the film. But the plot was basically this: environment (sort of a sci-fi rainforest) GOOD. Native people (blue aboriginees) GOOD. Military guys: BAD. Corporations: BAD. Scientists: GOOD but NAIVE. In fact, it's actually very similar in plot to Dances With Wolves. There was very little humor in this movie, as well.

I knew this was not going to be a great piece of fiction when the goons from the Corporation were trying to talk the narrator into taking his dead twin brother's place in their Avatar program DURING the dead brother's cremation. Like this would ever happen! And what was the point of sending the guy to the planet over a five year period, so he could spend three months learning all about the native culture, if they were going to start bulldozing the place BEFORE he had even made an attempt at relocation negotiations? In fact, if the Corporation and the Miliary really just wanted to strip mine the whole planet and kill everyone, why have Scientists and an Avatar program at ALL???? I don't know if something subtle got mislaid on the cutting room floor or what, but the character motivations just didn't make sense. Even the key item that the Corporation was interested in mining was called Unobtainium. You would think with the huge budget that this film had, they could have come up with a less obvious name. It's like they named the substance for fun and never got around to coming up with something better.

The most interesting thing (other than the florescent jungle, which was reminscient of glow in the dark miniature golf courses), was that the main character was in a wheelchair and was able to do all kinds of amazing things in the Avatar body, so I could certainly understand HIS motivation. And the hot blue chick was a substantial motivator as well. And I liked the scene at the end when she saw what he REALLY looked like without the Avatar body, and wanted to be with him anyway.

So anyway, this movie was definitely a bit of a disappointment for me. I guess my husband and I are not the target demographic any more. We have just seen too many movies. After all, if we are at the movies we usually turn to each other during the previews and say, "That's a MUST MISS!"

Seriously, I think I liked How to Train Your Dragon better, despite the inaccurate Viking Garb and the similarities to the Aragon dragon movie (oh, talk about a BAD movie, and even the costumes stunk!) At least How to Train Your Dragon was funny.
Avatar was just bad allegory. Everything in Avatar was just too black and white, except the florescent rainforest.

I like a little more complexity in my plots, thank you very much. Why not have the "Unobtainium" be a substance (with a better name) that could really help save another planet (like Earth) or another group of people? So it's a choice between helping one world and leaving another alone? Why not deal with issues of responsible harvesting and mining vs. irresponsible behavior? Why not have some good corporate or military goons or some bad natives in the mix? Why not have a native who was selling out the People? Or a group of natives that DID want a different way of life?

Real life is just so much more complex than the movies. For example, my understanding is that we are overfishing our oceans, and now we have a catastrophic oil spill that may really do some serious damage to the Gulf of Mexico and its fishing industry. But there are a lot of complicated issues involved. We want to preserve the oceans and their wildlife and we know that effects our whole ecosystem in ways we don't fully understand. But ordinary people make their living by fishing. Other people like to eat fish and it's good for you, especially compared to some other sources of protein. We are carnivores--most of us are not vegetarians and even some vegetarians like fish. There are lots of restaurants that serve mostly fish and need fish to keep operating (even in the land locked Dallas area). People need oil to run things, like their vehicles. I don't think anyone spilled the oil on purpose or that anyone was drunk this time, so obviously we need to find out why the explosion occurred and make things safer--if that's even possible. I'm sure OSHA and other agencies and groups will be investigating for a long time. But all of these issues need to be balanced. Is there a way to raise oysters and shrimp and some of the other overfished species on land? If not, what limits on fishing should be placed and what will that do to the prices for those types of fish? What should we order in restaurants and what should we stay away from, assuming dolphin isn't on the menu?

And the only thing I could really think of to do about any of it was order some oysters over the weekend while they are still available at a decent price.

Well, Professor Tolkien despised allegory, and I find it's not my favorite genre either. In fact, I'm not even sure this film's plot rises to the level of allegory.
So watch it for the pretty colors, or the great use of digital technology, but don't expect to find the solution to the world's environmental problems in Avatar.

Pleasant Valley Mom (looking forward to Robin Hood--Hope It's Not A Film With a Message)

Stuff to Bring to an SCA Event

I am supposed to be "packing" right now for Glaslyn Defender of the Flame, which is tomorrow, and I am partially packed but I just can't seem to get the final push over with, so I thought I'd write about it instead. Maybe this will guilt me into getting prepared.

There is so much stuff to do to get ready for an event, and we are just "daytripping" this one because it's only about 40 minutes away in Sanger, TX. We are providing some toys and a play area for the children, and I am doing a painting banners class with them in the afternoon.

Things I need to do:

Lay out garb, jewelry, shoes, etc. for tomorrow

Lay out kids' garb, jewelry, shoes, etc. for tomorrow

Make sure kids take a bath

R to get camera charged up

get out stuff in garage and pull it together

make list of food and beverages I need to pack in the am so I don't forget something

Find brown tablecloth for Feast

Find clothespins

Don't forget to pack a cutting board and knife for the cheese

Things we need to take:

Children's pavilion

Rugs for same (ground may be wet)

Children's toys in plastic storage box (packed)

Children's Painting supplies, paper towels, wipes, painting shirts, banners, etc. for project (also in plastic storage box)
(mostly packed)

Personal pavilion (10 x 10 popup)--see garage

Personal camping chairs (4)--see garage

small square metal table and large round table for eating and snacks--see garage

Cooler with food, wine, beer, sodas, water, etc. for lunch and snacks (shopping done today; pack in morning)

Feast gear for eating snacks, table covers, etc. (packed)

mugs and goblets (packed)

Feast gear for eating feast, including silverware, bowls, napkins for 4

Archery gear (for all four or just for husband and one daughter?)

Cloaks (if staying late after Feast for Bardic competition)

Some sort of purse basket with personal items

Rain gear and umbrella (to ward off the rain spirits)

Wow, that's a lot of STUFF!!!!!

We are a stuff culture, and that even extends to the SCA. It is actually similar to medieval times when people moved their furniture and their whole household around to different houses, which is what the royal families and their entourage did. You just have to pack up a lot of stuff and drive a long distance (fortunately in a car instead of on horseback), then unpack it all.

But people in medieval times didn't have so much stuff; at least, I don't think so. The furniture was all designed to break down so it could be moved, and it was mostly tables, bedsteads, and boxes or trunks for storage since there were no plastic storage tubs.

Now we have all the electronics, and decorative items (they hung fabric on the walls but that was mostly for warmth), and kids items, and lots more clothing because it doesn't all have to be handmade. We have telephones and computers and cell phones and CDs and DVDs and stuffed animals and scrapbooks and craft supplies and paper shredders and bags of pure junk that we don't have time to go through (just surveying the office right now).

Sometimes I feel like I am drowning in junk, and even having a garage sale and then giving some of it to charity just seems like a drop in the bucket. I wish I were a minimalist but I am definitely not.

I saw a recent TV show on hoarders and I am determined not to become one, but I am seeing some of the same tendencies. The tendency not to want to get rid of things, in particular, is one of my biggest faults. There was one lady who had so much stuff in her house that she could not use her front door. Just stacks and stacks of clothing, papers, boxes of stuff. Most of the clothing was in piles and was from a thrift store, because she was not rich. She could not find her bed. I don't know how she got dressed in the morning. She worked with a therapist and they were getting it cleaned away but it took months and months. There was another lady who was an "organized hoarder." She had all the plastic tubs but 37 flower vases. She was a mom who kept shopping and buying stuff and there was no place for her husband and kids to sit. She couldn't cook any dinners because there was so much stuff in the kitchen. She was moving stuff around from room to room and making some progress with the therapist but it was slow.

It is really scary to see people who live like that and I am not going to become one, but I can certainly see why it happens! You don't clean out stuff often enough because it's hard to get rid of it, and you keep buying more, and pretty soon there's no room for anything, so the new stuff goes on top of the old stuff.

So from now on, I think I need to devote 2 or 3 hours a week to going through stuff and trying to get rid of stuff or clean stuff up. Of course, I've said this before, but--maybe at least I will get some more of those plastic tubs, Eh?

Pleasant Valley Mom (back to work now!)

Scarborough Faire Escapism

Well, the Scarborough Faire season is in full swing, which explains why I am sleeping more and writing less. I have managed to spend most of the last two weekends in Waxahatchie, Texas, which is about an hour or so from here. During the week I am washing all the garb and trying to get ready for the next outing.

Dressing for Ren Faires and going to Ren Faires is very different in some ways than being in the SCA. The garb is more outrageous and often less period, meaning you can get away with pretty much anything you want to wear. Lots of cleavage, for example, is generally showing, which is probably not the way most of the people dressed (except perhaps the royalty and entourage) during the Tudor period. Also, there are wizards and fairies and pirates and even Princess Leia may make an appearance. Not to mention all the people in mundane clothes (also referred to as "naked.") These are the people that get picked to be in all the shows, so wearing garb is a great way to keep yourself OUT of the shows. Some people wear whatever they can throw together and some people have very carefully put together and maintained outfits. And some of the outfits are outrageously expensive too (one place we looked at sells $600 custom boots, for example).

I heard a great comment/joke or two from the Flaming Idiots act on Sunday. They commented that pirates were the terrorists of their day, so having Pirate Weekend is kind of like having Jihad Weekend. Saying, "Yay! Look at all the pirates!" is kind of like saying, "Yay ! Look at all the Taliban!"

It is revisionist history at its best. At Scarborough, we pretend that we don't remember what eventually happened to Anne Boleyn and various other cast members, such as her drunken brother George, and pretend that everyone gets along famously.
There are muskateers. There are middle eastern dancers. There are Germans wearing lots of feathers and gypsies wearing lots of fabrics. There is a troll, and a tinker knome named Noobler (the girls are still scared of poor Noobler). And there are people selling pretzels and pickeles and steak on a stake. There are wonderful shops full of lovely handcrafted items, but many items are a bit expensive. There are lots of kids swords and costumes available for sale too (people will buy stuff for their kids before they buy it for themselves).

My husband and I used to go separately even before we met. We also have been to the Faire with a variety of friends and relatives, so it is different every time we go. It depends on what activities you do. After we had the girls and we all started dressing up, we decided to get season passes, and of course we realized that we really couldn't see everything in just one visit. We enjoy the entertainment in particular, and there are constant shows and musical acts and lane entertainment all over the place (over 200 different performances a day). Because you are sitting on some rather hard benches with no backs, 3 to 4 shows is about all you can take in for one day, so it really does take the season to make the rounds and see all the performances. Even though we've seen many of them before, they are like old friends, and there are new jokes every year. And there's nothing like the live singing and music and dancing. Many of the performers really do this for a living and travel the country going to different Renaissance Faires, so most of them are fairly talented. Although we don't travel the country attending Ren Faires like some people do (it would get rather expensive and the girls do have school), I can certainly understand the appeal.

So, why do we do it? We used to go once a season in mundane clothes--why do we dress up all the time now and go as much as possible? It's certainly not good for the pocketbook--even though we don't have to pay admission, parking or for water and gatorade (covered by our Friends of the Faire passes), we have to buy food and tip the performers and we always end up buying OTHER STUFF during the season. It has become for us like going to the annual faire would have been in period times: oh, yes, I need some more soap from the Roman Baths place and I need a new corset, and I'd like one of those hairsticks this year....and the kids are now moving on to wanting the more expensive toys and puppets and such, and maybe this is the year to get Robert a doublet, etc etc (Remember, I don't sew very well compared to most SCA people). Of course, we are getting so we don't need as much stuff (although we still both need decent period footwear but hope to find something that is a lot less than $500 each!!!)Actually there was a merchant at Gulf War that we will probably check out on line because they are at Scarbie but can't sell boots there. The organizers limit the number of people who can sell each particular type of merchandise and try to spread them out as well. So maybe one day we will have decent period style boots (my feet are doing very well in the hiking boots right now, although I'm walking more like a lumberjack and less like a lady).

I think we go because we enjoy being in a different place and time. Although there are plenty of intrustions from the modern world it is still entertaining. It is all outside and goes on rain or shine (as we definitely found out this weekend as we were sitting through a few shows in the rain). The foliage in the ravine is beautiful that time of year and we are surrounded by period style wooden buildings. The rides are powered by human power, not mechanized (in fact, I can't ride any of them any more--I get too dizzy. They don't move as fast as things like roller coasters, so if you don't have a strong stomach, stay off!) It allows us to escape from the every day world. We don't have to wait in lines for things--there's always room to sit somewhere during the various shows, and if you get there late or need to leave early, you just sit down or get up. If there is a line for something it's usually at the bar, and it's usually not very long--maybe 2-3 people ahead of you. So, it's much more appealing than Disney World or even the State Fair--no concrete and basically no lines. So, not a lot of stress either. The main stress is driving down there (and it's a pretty easy drive once you get out of Dallas) and driving back (usually worse because you are tired). And we listen to period and period style music both ways and sing along. If you want to spend all day at East Wind Games and play chess, it's fine. If you want to sit for an hour in a pub and listen to people sing, and maybe even sing along, no problem. You don't have to drink or eat anything unless you want to. You don't have to tip the performers unless you want to (we always do though we don't give big tips because we are trying to make the cash last!) YOu don't have to go in the shops either although it's mighty tempting and part of the experience to see the things that people have made.

So we find it very relaxing and don't realize how tired we really are until we get home that night--and then we are usually EXHAUSTED!!!! Especially my husband who does the driving, and I was pretty tired the night that I drove back by myself.

The Faire has definitely gotten more "corporate" and "child centric" over the years, however. EVERY ACT has CDs, t shirts, even DVDs for purchase and is hawking them now during the performance. That gets a little old. They are even selling period style umbrellas this year (such as one that looks like peacock feathers and black one that looks like cathedral windows inside)! We even bought the peacock one Saturday because I knew if we did it would stop raining (and it worked!)

You can still go in the shops for a chat with people if they aren't busy, and they know a lot of people are not buyers but lookers--however, they are more likely to jump on you and start showing you things these days. There are a lot of things that are directed toward the children--not only merchandise but shows, and of course this means that you spend more when you are with your kids (we always limit our kids to two rides and one item purchased, and if they want something big they need to "save up for it," but it still gets expensive). There are lots of PG-13 warnings for the shows that are later in the day (after 5), which I know makes some parents skittish, but at least they won't be surprised. There are lots of shows for kids that will be entertaining for the adults as well, such as the Docktor Kaboom science show or the turtle races (OK, these get really tedious for adults but the kids love them), and the knife show. Fortunately my kids enjoy the musical performances so that is usually a good bet for them, plus I've learned over the years that if you buy your child an Italian ice to eat, it will entertain them for about 30 minutes through just about any show you want to see. And the PG-13 shows are very funny, even if you have seen them before.

I don't know why I like seeing the same shows over and over. I think it is like re-reading books. They are like old friends. Of course, there are new jokes and there are spontaneous things that happen, and there are things that you thought were spontaneous the first time that you realize are part of the act. But being in a live crowd where people are encouraged to participate and make noise is kind of fun--a lot more fun than going to the movies, at any rate. And it's always amazing to see if Daniel Duke of Danger can really do that stunt again without falling, or if the Fire Juggler really will take his shirt off and light his nipple (not kidding-he really does this). And after all, there are so many shows that often we only see the favorites once (or twice) a season. The musical shows always vary too, and sometimes even take requests.

Maybe it's just the comfort of being in a familiar place that is at the same time so far out of what the familiar is that it does in fact transport you. One of our friends who went with us the first weekend has not been in 20 years, and she yelled something out to one of the performers in response to a query, then turned to me and said, "I behave differently down here." Well, I think we all do. It's more fun that way. We can be more extroverted. And yet it's very comfortable for us because we know where everything is, even particular shops (this took years to get down though). One time one of the performers said to us at the Friends of the Faire dinner, "Welcome Home." So we know it is not home, and yet in a way, it is the Home we would have if we didn't have mundane concerns, like needing groceries and a paycheck. Sometimes I think it would be fun to be an artisan and make stuff and have a little shop, but then of course you would never get to go see the entertainment and such, and it would be tedious after a while and more like mundane life. Having it as a business would be much less fun, of course, and would make it all entirely too serious.

So here's to 3o years of Scarborough Faire (excuse me, Renaissance Festival). And here's hoping that we are still able to go 20 years from now. I don't expect everyone to understand why we have this obsession, but I know that it is one of the highlights of our year, and unfortunately it seems to have ruined us for other faires and festivals (unless they are perhaps ren faires). Because nothing is as fun for us as Scarborough.

Pleasant Valley Mom (Getting organized for next weekend)

What a Strange Easter! Or Sometimes You Need to Sleep.

Well, Easter has flown by in a blur and I must say that this was a strange one. I had big hopes and plans that disintegrated for the most part due to my being overly ambitious about everyone having the perfect Easter. Well, it was an interesting Easter. I got the bunnies and other decorations up the week before despite the chaos in the house left over from Gulf Wars and the Garage Sale. We did make it to church although it was a bit of a disappointment.

I had big plans to go to the church potluck and service on Thursday night, but my friend and I were also going to have Part II of the Big Garage Sale on Friday morning, and I was still pulling and marking stuff at 5 pm. Plus, I had not made my potluck dish of Brownies and thought that taking a loaf a bread was just a little too--cheap. Plus, my friend had been telling me since noon that she was on her way over with a load of stuff for the sale and guess what time she got there? 5:30 pm. So no Thursday service, I guess.

The reason that we were having part II of the garage sale on Good Friday instead of LAST Friday was that (1) I was not ready last Friday and (2) her kids were sick and she was not ready either. So we thought we could do it quickly and easily on Friday morning, then get on with our lives. But there is no such thing as a quick and easy garage sale.

I had planned to go to the Dallas Arboretum Friday with the kids since R had to work, but then it rained Thurs night, and the weather forcast said it would rain again Friday afternoon. I do not enjoy being stuck all the way over at the Arboretum in Dallas, which is a good 45 minutes to an hour from here, in the pouring rain. The kids did not seem particularly thrilled about going either, so I decided that we would do the garage sale and then I would go do some Easter grocery shopping like a good mom, maybe making it to the Friday pm service.

Well, R and I got up at 5 am on Friday and we could not see the sky. The weather report now said 80% chance of rain but we put stuff out anyway. My friend overslept, but after a few phone calls she arrived finally with her kids about 6:30 am and we sent R out with the signs. Well, by the time he got back it was raining. We kept covering things and moving things in to the garage but I did not want the sale IN the garage because of all the tools and bikes and camping equipment in there that were NOT for sale. We finally called it off at 7 and R went and got the signs, because he had a conference call at 8. Well, about the time he got back, it stopped raining!! So then I just had a garage full of wet stuff. My friend and I decided we would try again the NEXT Friday. That's what we get for trying to do a sale on Good Friday.

We had two customers, who together bought some of my friend's toys, and I may be buying some of her junk too (she has an electric guitar and an Eretor set, two things my girls would like but I don't want to spend a lot of money on). So my friend made money. I didn't make ONE Dime.

Then, since the sale was cancelled, the kids (who were out of school and were going to work the sale and sell drinks, etc) were kind of disappointed. So I agreed to take the three girls to a matinee movie. My friend said her other son had a hurt ankle and needed to go to the doctor so she couldn't go to the movies (as of Friday night she still hadn't taken him to the doctor though). I was thinking it would be $5 a kid, but NO, they wanted to see the 3-D version of something or the new Miley Cyrus sappy movie. I talked them into the Train Your Dragon film (A wanted to see Clash of the Titans but it is PG 13 so I said no). We saw the dragon film and split some cokes and popcorn, so $36 plus $18 is...well you get the picture. Then we had lunch ($5 each) and then we got to go to Walley World for shopping. M and her friend wore the wrong shoes for this so they were walking around Walley World without shoes on, complaining of blisters. As a Bad Mom, I had left all my bandaids back at the house.

At one point one of the kids spilled a sample drink and I sent the two of them (M and her friend) to go get someone to wipe it up while A, who still had her drink, stayed with me and the spill. Then they disappeared and didn't come back promptly, so I walked to the front looking for them. Then I alerted Wally World that they were missing and they had to do an Adam Alert in the store to find thethem, so I won't be letting them wander off again. So I really AM a bad mom--almost lost not only my child but someone else's child.

In fact, I saw a neighbor at the restaurant just before Wally World. She LEFT her kids at the movies (boys, the same age as my kids and younger) and went and had a facial. She, of course, got away with it. I would NEVER have done that in a million years. I told her I was going to Walley World with the three of them next and she said, "I hope you have liquor at home." (The good news--yes, I do).

So, Wally World was interesting, to say the least. I haven't told R about the Adam Alert yet. Maybe he will read the blog and find out. I didn't get all the groceries I needed because the kids got bored once I got them the Special Wally World edition of New Moon. That was their other big request this weekend: they wanted to Watch New Moon. And Ben Hur. And Jesus of Nazareth.

After unloading all the Wally World crap I helped the kids and their friend dye Easter eggs. Then I was exhausted and laid down for a nap, and slept until 7 pm. So no Friday service either. In fact, R had to go get Chinese food. We were supposed to be going to Elfsea Defender for the day on Saturday where we would do an egg hunt (I fixed up some eggs for a hunt with change in them but I was very unclear as to when said hunt would materialize--had planned on doing it at Defender). I had packed everything except the cooler already so I would not have to do it all Friday night.

As we ate our Chinese food while R complained that I haven't cooked since Gulf Wars (which I assure you is quite the exaggeration). At any rate, most of the Defender stuff was laid out. I started the girls into picking out their Easter outfits from what was already available in the closet. Literally ONE WEEK ago, A tried on some stuff we already had and told me it would be fine for Easter. Well, guess what? A decides Friday night that the pink shoes and the pink dresses she already has don't fit and she must wear M's shoes on Easter, meaning M now has no shoes!

So I go to bed with a headache and I awoke at 5 am with the same headache. R says we should get up to go to Defender but I am not feeling so great this morning. So we slept until 6 at which point we decided NOT to go to Defender (despite the fact that everyone's clothes are laid out and I am almost packed). I just did not feel good-- Ithink it was allergies (because in truth I was NOT hitting the bottle Friday night, just drinking plain orange juice with my Chinese food).

(I am drinking lots and lots of a particular brand of orange juice lately because the bottle looks like a dombek and I am hoping to get through 20 bottles in time to use the bottles for drum making at Warlord on Memorial Day weekend. I am crazed.)

So, we did NOT go to Elfsea Defender, which I regretted by about 10 am when I finally got up and got moving on the day. Sometimes you just need to sleep. R and I could not remember the last time we had slept until 9 am, and the girls didn't get up before then either.

At any rate, R and I argued because he hasn't done the taxes yet, I watched part of New Moon, then I went Easter shopping since the kids had gone to a friend's house to decorate MORE Easter eggs. I got a new dress each for M and A since there were "dress issues" Friday night as well, and two new pairs of shoes for M (flats and heels), plus a few other things. And I got a new Easter outfit for myself, the first in about 5 years. So, in other words, I had one of those weekends where I feel like all I did was spend money.

A didn't like the Easter dress that I got her so M decided to wear it instead on Easter Sunday and A wore one of the old dresses and some old shoes after all. Oh well. The dresses I got can be worn this summer as well. both by M if necessary, and are casual enough to wear other places besides church. I think we are finally at that stage where the fancy dresses and the tights and hats and such are too "little girl" for my girls.

R set the alarm for 6:30 Easter Sunday but I didn't hear it, even though I fell asleep early on Sat night watching (you guessed it) NEW MOON. Shopping exhausts me, especially trying on clothes myself. I avoid it like the plague. I had not even looked for Ben Hur or Jesus of Nazareth yet--still haven't. The plan had been to watch at least one of these on the way to and from Defender but since we didn't go...well, I guess we will have to watch them later. Who says Easter has to only be one weekend? We still haven't even done our egg hunt yet.

So, on Sunday we are up at 7:30 trying to make a 9:30 service, and I am insisting we have to be there by 9:10 in order to get a seat (which is true, you know). I had done the Easter baskets already on Friday night, so I put them out. I think this will be the last year for Easter Baskets too. I don't think anyone believes in the Bunny any more, and how can you when you get flip flops and earrings in your Easter basket? With chocolate of course. But M doesn't like any candy but chocolate, and she was even separating her stuff out saying it smelled too chocolatety. She's just not a big candy girl, but A makes up for it.

We went to the contemporary 9:30 service, which was nice although a bit disjointed. We really like the guy who sings and plays guitar at our church but we aren't fond of the new pastor (who has been there for a year and a half but we still call him the NEW pastor). He's just a little too corporate--a little too keen on money raising if you know what I mean, and just a little too...well, slick. I'm sure he's a nice person but everything he does is very calculated and just a little manipulative. I really enjoyed the music portion of the service and the interpretive dancers at the end. Now the message was fine--relating to stained glass windows, and how we are all broken but can be put into stained glass windows if we let the light of Christ shine through, etc.--didn't have a problem with the general meassage. One of our associate pastors takes leftover stained glass pieces and makes crosses, and I enjoyed the film showing how he does this, and how it tied into the message. I enjoyed seeing the large cross that he took several weeks to make.

However, before the service they were listing some "historical" facts about stained glass and this part irritated me (and R too), almost to the point that we found it hard to concentrate on the main message. For one thing, they spelled "Chartres" wrong. If you are writing about great Gothic cathedrals, folks, use Spell Check once in a while, will you? Then they talked about how Oliver Cromwell had all the stained glass in English churches destroyed when Henry VIII dissolved the monastaries (they mean Thomas Cromwell. Oliver was his Grandson. Doesn't anyone watch The Tudors? Also, I don't know that ALL the stained glass was necessarily destroyed, although a good bit of it probably was.). Then they talked about how Oliver died of Malaria, which may be true (haven't looked it up yet), but Thomas (the one who worked with Henry VIII) did NOT die of Malaria--he was beheaded for his part in getting Henry VIII to marry Anne of Cleves. And they were really talking about Thomas to begin with, they just didn't know it. But they were trying to tie it in with their Anti Malaria Initiative (raising money to help erradicate malaria in Africa, a noble goal).

So the historical accuracy thing was a real annoyance. How can I take a message seriously when they don't get the facts right? How do I know they are getting the other facts right? They also said that stained glass could be done quickly and easily today (well, not if it's done RIGHT! Even the Associate Pastor's work took three weeks) and they also compared the media screens that we use to stained glass windows and said we didn't need them any more in our churches to tell bible stories because now we have MEDIA. To me, that's like saying we don't need art (i.e. painting and sculpture) any more because we have HDTV. Instead of viewing the Pieta or the great Renaissance paintings we can just watch Jesus of Nazareth or Ben Hur. Or excuse me, a more updated version of events like The Passion (can't even let my kids watch this--it's rated R). Kind of a stupid philistine take on things, if you ask me!!! Not that there is anything wrong with watching contemporary media, but how about a little respect for the past and for the sublime nature of art? Talk about smashing stained glass windows! And what was that saying about people who live in glass houses, anyway???

So, no respect for the past at this church. Out with the old, in with the new. There wasn't even a children's message. Now I like the children's message at Easter because we get to see all the kids go up front in all their finery and the kids get to be part of the service and really understand something about Easter and Jesus. I know my kids are almost too old for this now but I still like it. I'm really glad now that I was too sick to come on Palm Sunday--maybe they eliminated the Palms and the kids marching in with them. They probably decided they could just show a video instead.

Maybe it's time to change churches. Seriously. I do believe and embrace the general message (let the light of Christ shine through you), and I'm sure I'm not doing it with my blog today very well. But some of the messengers have their heads screwed on wrong, don't you think? So this is the best they can do on Easter Sunday??????? As our friend Drew remarked, this should be your Best Effort because it's generally your Biggest Audience. No wonder there was still space available in a few of the pews.

Wow, if it's not standing room only on Easter Sunday, that must be difficult if you are a minister. I remember a few years ago they had to run TWO services in two locations simultaneouly on Easter, AND show it on a screen in the lobby, to accomodate the crowds. Well, I don't think that was happening at our church this Sunday.

In fact, maybe the real highlight for me was Brunch. We went to a really nice brunch for Easter. I bought a ham but we have had so much ham since Christmas (and Gulf Wars) that I think I will barf if I eat any more ham--I will just cook this and Seal a Meal it, I believe.

Brunch was AWESOME! We have a restaurant called Sonoma Grill that we usually don't eat at because it's expensive, but I sure like their Easter brunch. The appetizer choices were eggs benedict, pancakes, crab cakes, or several other yummy things. The entrees were almond crusted chicken, salmon, lamb chops, ham, and prime rib. The desserts were chocolate ganache cake, white chocolate cake with rasberry sauce, and carrot cake, and they had bottomless mimosas. I'm not a big champagne fan but I can drink mimosas (I guess it's the orange juice--lately I just want to drink orange juice all the time). Just what I need at 11 am on a Sunday! Booze! There was enough food left over that I get to have the leftovers today for lunch!!!!! The girls were good sports about the trendy Americano food and A loved the salmon and pancakes, although not the arborio rice, and I ended up trading vegetables with M too, who got the chicken. Miranda and I also got the eggs benedict because it was still breakfast time, although R got the crab cakes and I think we should have done the same. A got the pancakes, of course. They all got the chocolate cake but I got the white chocolate because I knew I would be sick from all that food otherwise. And there were dessert leftovers as well!

I love leftovers. I am the leftover queen. I don't like to waste food so I always try to bring home half (or at least a third) of my restaurant food and eat it the next day. I really hate leaving half full plates in restaurants so I ALWAYS get a goody bag. Seriously. This is a trick in a magazine that I read to help keep you from overeating in restaurants, and it sometimes even works. So far, no food poisoning has occurred. It's just one of my little idiosyncracies. If someone has lamb chops I will even bring home the bones (for the dogs, not for me). If I forget the food and do have to throw it out a day or two later, then at least it is my choice to waste it--I'm not just wasting it because I can't eat any more or shouldn't eat any more. You would not believe the number of meals that I have not had to cook because I do this. Seriously.

Anyway, after we stuffed ourselves at brunch and got our leftovers, we went to the gazebo out in the shopping center where the restaurant is and took some Easter pictures. Then we went hometo change clothes and go down to Scarborough Faire in Waxahatchie, because this was ALSO the day of the Scarborough Academy of Performing Arts Friends of the Faire event! They started at 1 pm, but we made it by 2 pm since we did need to go home and change out of the Easter finery. The performers do their dress rehearsal at this event and rehearsed the chess match, the pub sing, opening and closing ceremonies, etc. The new jousting company was out there practicing (but since they didn't have armour on they didn't actually hit each other). But we got to pat the horses and the girls got to be in the procession for the new company! We saw our friend Drew and got to eat a great German dinner--thank goodness they didn't have lasagna again, which I despise (although the girls and I opted for the baked potatos-still too full from brunch I guess, even by 5 pm).

It is the 30th year of Scarborough Faire (excuse me, Renaissance Festival) this year. I remember going (not with R but with the ex boyfriend) in the late 1980's, and I know R and I were going by the early 90's. In fact, I have pictures from 1997 if not before. Hard to believe that it has really been THIRTY years, and I know I was there for a lot of them. The Faire started about the time that I moved to Dallas. We missed 2000 when the girls were born (they were at risk for RSV and couldn't really go out until June), but other than that I know we have been there every year since at least 1995. We used to go once a season--now we go pretty much every weekend!!!! In 2001 we took them in their twin stroller for half a day. By 2003 they were wearing costumes. By 2005 we were ALL wearing costumes. By 2008 we had joined the SCA and now we all wear GARB, and not just for Scarby.

Of course, we will be fitting in some SCA events too this spring, although most likely just the closer local ones (since the Scarby tickets are paid for and it's only an hour away). I am sad that we missed Defender but sometimes you just need to sleep. However, we will be at Glaslyn's Defender and I am going to try to convince R to go to the Defender of the Tor event which is only about 2 hours away. But I think we will be missing the Austin event next weekend (which is supposed to be an awesome event) because it's SCARBY OPENING WEEKEND!!!

So, the house is a mess and the yard is a mess, and it's time for me to get to work. Only 5 days until Scarby begins!!!

Pleasant Valley Mom who is really looking forward to the brunch leftovers

How to Make $200 The Hard Way

Well, I know it has been a while since I have posted one of my "interminable" blogs, but I hope that you will indulge me as I write today about the Great Garage Sale that we held this past Saturday.

We kind of threw this together in a few days as I was unpacking from Gulf Wars. Needless to say, while the Gulf Wars laundry is (mostly) done (except for the cloaks which need to be Dryel-ed), the unpacking is not done because of this garage sale. I looked at the calendar and realized that not only was Easter upon us, but the Bridlewood community sale was coming up, and this is a great weekend for Garage Sales Extraordinary.

Bridlewood is this toney golf course community that is across from Wellington, the cheaper toney community that I live in. We bought the bigger house in Wellington as opposed to the smaller house in snobby Bridlewood (actually, given how snobby even Wellington is, I know we made the right choice). Bridlewood Elementary's PTA dues are three times what our PTA dues are. Our PTA offers constant programming, teacher grants, and even subsidizes class parties, so I can't imagine what their PTA offers that ours doesn't--maybe everyone gets a free pony or something.

Anyway, the Bridlewood sale is huge. Now, I don't actually go and shop because there are so many cars and pickups and flatbeds driving through the community at huge rates of speed that it is just downright dangerous. Plus, I don't need any more junk in my house. But it is a good opportunity to divert some traffic away from the sale and to our house.

I took all the really nice kids clothes that were left over from the spring Divine Consign sale to Once Upon a Child and got $59, then took my nice adult stuff (dressy clothes mostly) to a women's consignment shop, where they will be for 90 days. Fortunately I have now found one in the area (I used to live near one in Dallas). I should make a few bucks from this venture as well, maybe even about $200 or more since I did take 70 pieces (including jewelry). She takes 60% (ouch!) but it's better than I can get at a garage sale. Seriously.

So at our garage sale we had mostly men's casual clothes, a few ladies items that were too shabby for the consignment store, a few kids items that were too shabby for the consignment store, a few purses and accessories and old perfumes and bath products. I got my husband to sell some of his extra tools, drills and so forth, and we had a few housewares but not a lot since I didn't get through the whole kitchen in time.

We made $202 although we had a $4 item stolen and almost lost a brand new copy of High School Musical Extended Edition (duplicate) when a kid tried to run it to the car while I was heavily discounting the kids clothes his mom was buying (selling Gymboree for .50 to $1.00 really frosts me even when I know it's damaged!) We also had the city come through and take down three of our six signs, two of which belonged to a friend, and with it two of our candle lantern stakes were lost (which we reluctantly put on some signs at 2 am when we realized we didn't have anything to stake the signs down with).

But that is making $202 the HARD way, people. I told my husband, next time I will just try prostitution. It's not as much work and it's over faster. And I don't think I would have to haggle as much.

I priced everything at twice what I wanted and I still was amazed at the nerve of some people. I finally let some witch give me $5 for our sandbox turtle, because it was pretty beaten up and starting to crack, and I didn't want to haul it to consignment so I could get $7. But it still hacks me off. That's the Scot in me--I want to sell everything for top dollar. I will spend $50 for something I dont' need, but when I go to sell it I want $45. This is why I have so much crap in my house--because if I can't sell it for what it's worth, I don't want to sell it.

I don't mind when people are poor and want a good deal, but it irritates me when people are taking advantage of me, rich or poor. And that is the problem with garage sales around here--people take advantage. You know, I wouldn't be doing it if I couldn't use the cash, folks. I could be walking the dog and enjoying the beautiful weather, or at my crop that I didn't make it to until 2 pm. Spent too much at Gulf Wars. Need money for Scarborough Faire season. Don't have any other time to do a garage sale this spring.

My friend Lisa and I are going to try to do ANOTHER sale this Good Friday. Her kids were sick last week so she couldn't do it. The kids are off school this Friday but Robert has to work (although he will probably do so from home). In fact, he's on call, which I hope does not blow up in our faces since it's Easter Weekend and we also have Elfsea Defender and the Scarborough Faire dinner on Sunday afternoon. I had hoped to take the kids to the Arboretum but it's always so crowded on Good Friday (unless it rains, of course).

Besides, Lisa has an ebay store and she is really good at the retailing thing, so I want to see how she does a Garage Sale. Maybe I can pick up some pointers.

OK, have to run. The nurse just called. Amelia vomited at school so now she has to come home. It's a good thing I don't have a real job.

Pleasant Valley Mom (dreading going to school--did not shower yet)

Gulf Wars Groupie

Well, we are home from Gulf Wars and tired but happy. It was a fabulous experience that I hope will soon be repeated, not just one of those once in a lifetime experiences. We got to stay in the marquee tent belonging to our friends Regan and Faelen (thanks, guys!) and in the words of Owen, currently King of Ansteorra, it was AWESOME!!!! It was like having a great big medieval room to live in. We had rugs over most of the tarp, including big ones under the two beds (cots, ours with an air matress on it). I think we need a new airmatress though. We were airing it up every night and by the end, once you were out of it, you couldn't really get back in. At some point it was like being in more of a hammock or on a waterbed or something. I had lots of fleece and fake fur to layer over the sleeping bags so we were comfy during the chilly nights, even though it was in the 40's. At least, I was comfy unless I had to get up to use the potty and then it was frigging COLD!!!

For those of you who are not in the SCA or have not been to Gulf Wares, it was amazing. My husband and Amelia counted license plates from 37 states and Ontario, although we know that there were people from Quebec there as well. Just about all the Kingdoms in the Known World were represented except for the European kingdom, which I think is Drachenwald. In other words, there were people from everywhere, coming in all week long, even Saturday for just the day. As Miranda said, it was like being in a Medieval Town all week. Many people especially down toward the fields had period encampments; ours was less so, regrettably, but still fun. We were camped on top of Namron (northern Oklahoma) and they got a kick out of hearing the encampment referred to as "Stamron" (Steppes/Namron). There was little extra room at the Ansteorra campground!

There was an opening procession where all the royalty and entourage processed in the morning, with the kings, queens and heirs on horseback. The current Queen of Ansteorra is blind so her horse was led by appropriately dressed persons, but she rode it nonetheless!!! (She's a brave lady). I don't have a great camera but I took lots of pictures and we were down front for all of the pageantry. The Kingdom of Glenn Ahban (Lousiana, probably spelled the kindgdom name wrong) hosts this event in Mississipi (which is part of the Kingdom of Meridies), so they are the "hosts" but it is a war between Ansteorra (Oklahoma and Texas) and Trimaris (Florida). I don't even know the official results yet although I understand we kicked butt in a lot of the battles, and we always kick butt in the Arts and Sciences competition. There is so much to do that I didn't even see anything except for one battle, and didn't see the rapier or the youth boffer either. Or the Bardic competition, although I heard a lot of the bards who competed, including the first and second place bards, at the Green Dragon.

So what did we do all that time if we weren't doing the other things? Well, we took lots of classes. The girls wanted to do Page School, which they loved. They met three of the four queens, had tea on the rapier field, made period fishing poles and went fishing, made bath salts, made a booklet, painted plaster figures, played games, and did lots of other cool stuff. The children's activities were four hours a day with a break for lunch, so it was close to the classes and easiest for us to do, especially since they WANTED to go. Plus it was close to the vendors (I did a bit of shopping too, in fact, quite a lot of shopping and looking and talking to vendors). I took classes in Lampwork, Naalbinding, the Bayeux Tapestry stitch, and the Florilegium (my beading class got cancelled so I slipped into this at the last minute; this was about Stephan's project to collect SCA-related articles and knowlege all in this one website). Two of my classes were cancelled at the last minute but I toured the Arts and Sciences populace display and voted, and Amelia and I toured the barn to see the horses (and we did see some youth boffer and rapier on the way). Miranda and I toured the Greyhound paddock and she got to walk a dog for thirty minutes (R took A down later and they all did this again--it was a big hit). We did not actually see the greyhound coursing or the equestrian events but R was also busy taking classes in a number of macho areas. We observed the leather bottle making and got some materials to do it, and he also took woodscraping, went to see a wood furniture slide show one night, and did a number of other classes. He and Miranda also took an egg basketmaking class and are halfway through an egg basket. He and the girls took a period games class while I was doing lampwork. I skipped the basket making because I unfortunately had burned my finger doing the lampwork (not badly but badly enough that i didn't feel like doing basketry with it). The light was coming into the classroom at a weird angle and I couldn't see the torch so I just took my finger right through it. Next year I want to take some classes in early period life because they have great classes (cooking over an open fire, lots of period stuff). In particular I want R to make the outdoor furnace--there's a class where you can make a little furnace out of a coffee can and mud and use it to start a small fire, kind of like a miniature fire pit--very cool and perfect for roasting marshmallows, and I think you can put charcoal in it.

So I had some mishaps, being accident prone as I am. In addition to burning myself--twice--during lampwork (but not enough to require medical attention), I almost fell off the shower platform in the Namron camp shower and broke my other ankle (keep in mind I was trying to shower at night in the dark with two ten year olds who were screaming that they didn't like showering in the camp shower--Miranda said that was the worst experience of her life). So, no more camp shower in the dark with twins for me. I offered to escort them to one of the bathhouses so they could shower again, but indicated that I would not be walking all over camp in my non period bathrobe, so they decided that one shower for the week was enough. So from then on I used the camp shower on my own in the daylight--unfortunately I never did figure out how to get the propane on hot though, so my next two showers were very cold. It reminded me of that time I went to Europe and showered three times in one week, and only one of the showers was hot. Well, fortunately it was gorgeous weather and not too hot, so I didn't sweat much, and in the open air you don't smell as bad either. I did bring some perfume. I never did get my hair trimmed but it did OK--I kept it in a snood or under a hat most of the time and tried to brush the tangles out twice a day.

My other mishap was that unfortunately I got the stomach bug that was going around, so I had about 24 hours where I didn't get much accomplished, just laid in bed. Fortunately we brought our portable potty and we weren't that far from the regular port a potties (but far enough!!) However the tent was very comfortable. It only rained once, at night, and that was a good thing because the roads were dusty and it cut the dust and the allergens. My nose had been running steadily and I was using lots of non period tissues (no way to wash hankies really), so it was nice to not have to do that. I thought it was asthma because I went into a portapotty after someone had been smoking in there and had an asthma attack and was violently ill. Then I had to go to the chirgeon tent later and get my husband to bring the nebulizer down (we had no electricity and I didn't realize we could have gotten it for medical reasons). So I had a breathing treatment and so did Amelia, who really needed one. But I still didn't feel well and it turned out I had a stomach bug.

So I had a cold when I got there, allergies, asthma attacks, burned finger twice, almost broke ankle, and stomach virus. All in all a typical vacation week for me! (I don't know what it is about vacations but it brings out the worst in my health--broke ankle the first time on the ranch vacation walking on the ROAD, not hiking--serious asthma and allergy problems at Disney World the next year, and I bet I had stomach flu or something on a prior vacation if I really think about it).

One of our acquaintences in Steppes was not impressed with the merchants, who she said have been better in prior years, but there was plenty for us to choose from. I enjoyed chatting with the merchants too. One guy and his wife had lovely hand painted wall hangings and I bought a few of the seconds for $1 each. He had taken leave from Iraq just to be there and will be back this week. Turned out he is from Lufkin originally and went to school at a small Christian school here in Flower Mound! So I wish him and his wife the best. They also had lovely hand-carved clay pipes, which I did not buy because I have so many knick knacks and we don't smoke, but they were very nice indeed.

I got some linen, some naalbinding materials, some Viking glass beads (I made a few but they aren't very good), some veils (I can't get the hang of the edge sewing on the veils--it's like making wedding veils, kind of tricky). Some veil pins, some naalbinding needles, some pins, some buttons, etc. (things that don't cost much and are easy to transport back). R got a knife and a new bag and we both got some cheap leather belts that we may decorate later with some conchos or something. We got a pack of harder leather and some leather ties, and the girls also learned from the leather guy how to braid one or two strings of the leather into belts and bracelets and hat bands. I got some books in kuminhimo (Japanese braiding) so maybe now I can use my loom to full advantage, plus I got the little foamy things, numbered like the book, to use while sitting in bed watching TV. Amelia made me buy some buttons but I don't know what those are for, exactly. The girls got some honeysticks and some other little tchotskes, and I got some inexpensive cloak clasps (mine is still not sewed on and I have to re-do R's but at least we have something--we decided we didn't like the pins I have been holding for us since the Scottish festival). I got them some Viking pins for their little aprons. What I didn't get but wanted was something from the Scandanavian booth that had items made from all over the world by Viking Reinactors, including lanterns made from wood and sheep's bladder, weaving, pottery, beautiful handmade bronze etc. My favorite piece was the $450 coat pin, but of course I didn't get it. Just looked at it three or four times. It was really museum quality stuff. I really wish now that I had gotten the lantern, which was still $90, but I need some veils and linen and stuff more (white linen was $5 a yard and it's $12 a yard on line and never less than about $8 here in town, if you can even find it. At Perth Street linen is $6 a yard but they rarely have black, brown or white). Well, maybe they will come next year. They were very expensive but had beautiful work--it's just that I focused on basics instead this year. Oh, and don't forget the Gulf Wars t shirts!

The trip didn't seem that long for me. It was about 12 to 13 hours with all the stops but I was sewing all the way down and most of the way back except when it was dark. We did have bad weather warnings on the way back (and snow in Dallas) so we stopped in Ruston and spent the night at a Holiday Inn express--got cleaned up and had an awesome breakfast. I also don't know the name of it but there is a fabulous truck stop between Lufkin and Tyler that has marble bathrooms and serves great Barb-B-Que, although it's not cheap ($9 a plate, $2 for extra sides). I got Amelia two sides and Miranda insisted on getting her own meal, but I took the leftovers home and had them for lunch Monday. The Barbeque is not as good as the Bodacious Barbeque which is in the same general area, but it is not bad. Only in Texas do the truck stops have Marble Bathrooms. Welcome back to civilization. It was snowing (flurries) and I wore my cloak inside so I got some strange looks, especially since our wardrobe by then was not very coordinated (whatever was clean, basically, and R was wearing my Big Rock Ranch shirt--hopefully no one knew it was from a Scrapbooking retreat).

But back to Gulf Wars. The best part of Gulf Wars for me was going to the Green Dragon to hear Heather Dale and other premiere bards, from Ansteorra and other parts of the known World. I didn't buy any CDs because I know I can get them later but the music was fabulous. This is a real pub, and everyone sits around in garb in the candlelight. There is some artificial lighting in period style lamps but not much. There is a gallery overhead where the performers can be or they can be on the main floor. They have beverages and food for a "suggested donation," a whole Ploughman's platter for $3. Presumably if you can't pay you can still eat and drink a bit. (of course there's a lot of free food and booze and the nightly parties too). We heard Ken Theriot (whose SCA name I am blanking out on) sing "To Serve the Lily" from Human History (one of his albums of SCA songs) and Owain Phyfe who we know from Scarborough Faire was also there! He was also at the Mediterranean place the next day (fabulous food there too!) And of course Heather Dale herself, all the way from Canada, although I believe she is going to be giving a house concert here in Dallas soon. She has, as one person in the audience said, the voice of an angel. She made me cry, and the girls were transfixed. We had to leave after her second set because they were getting tired and my stomach was acting up, and there were royals in the gallery so I didn't want to have an accident or something up there, so we sort of snuck away to give them a better seat, but it was marvelous. Except for a vehicle that I saw go by outside (probably a golf cart since most vehicles are parked at the parking lot all week), it was really like being in a medieval pub, except that people probably smelled better and were from all periods of history in their dress. Oh, R and I also really enjoyed the dirty Viking humor on the last night, especially the Odin Revival done in the style of Jimmy Swaggert ("Can I get an Odin? Do I hear an Odin? As opposed to "Amen.") And we weren't even that drunk.

We did take the kids to the Green Dragon a lot (although we left them in bed for the Viking humor part). We went to the Axmore party for Baroness Morgan's Pelican elevation (got our Bob names and everything--tasted some really good trashcan punch and mead). We skipped a lot of the wilder parties, and I was sick or I would have gone over to the Wolfstar party. We did go to the Known World party hosted by Ansteorra, which was Octoberfest--lots of free sausage on a stick and pretzels to die for, and German Bar maids with shots, and mead and beer and some of the sourest cider I think I have ever had. Plus trashcan punch of course, and I was proud to say that we contributed some of the Christmas lights that were decorating the place. This was held inside the fort after the grand court and the elevation ceremony of Baroness Morgan, who gave us all linen handkerchiefs as favors so we could cry with her (and we all got to wave them in the air). Even the girls enjoyed the Known World party, although we did take them home after a short while and put them to bed, then went out again ourselves and back to the Green Dragon and the party. There was lots of drumming and dancing, although I never did make it over to the middle eastern area. Next year maybe we will get out more, since the girls don't mind sleeping in the tent alone now. Unfortunately though, there is not much for teens--they need some teen activities in the evening, or teen parties, because some of the parties will not admit anyone under 21.

Well, enough for now. I will probably be gushing about Gulf Wars all week. The kids are ready now to go to Pennsic. Probably won't go this year, but we are definitely thinking about Lillies War in Kansas this summer!

PleasantValleyMom, sorry to be back in the mundane again

Packrats R Us

How did I get so much STUFF? My house looks like World War III. It doesn't help that I am packing for Gulf War, but it was bad before anyway because of DI, Girl Scouts, Scrapbooking, etc. As someone recently said as she walked in the door, "you have a lot going on!"

But how did I get so much stuff? I used to be able to put everything I owned in my Buick Electra. Granted, it was a 1967 Buick Electra and it was HUGE. It held 8 college students. This was my first car, and my grandparents gave it to me my senior year in college. I moved from law school to Atlanta in that car and I put everything I needed for the whole summer in it.

But seriously, I am packing and repacking plastic bins for Gulf Wars and I am amazed. One bin for shoes. One plastic shoe box (small) for belts. One slilghtly larger plastic shoe box for hats. One bin for blankets and insulating stuff for the matresses. One bin for table coverings, cooler coverings, chair coverings, towels and pillows. One bin for kids clothes (period garb or medieval costumes). One bin for adult clothes (also period). One bin for general camping stuff like bug spray and flashlights. One bin for cooking equipment and dishes. Feast gear. Archery stuff. Drum. A & S projects. Sewing. Yikes!! I don't think it will all fit. This does not even include the tent, air mattress, rugs, tarps, four cots, tent poles (some of this stuff is going on the top of the van), cooler, food, bottled water etc. etc. I am seriously amazed. I don't know how we are going to get it all there, or home. Is it too late to buy a trailer?

Christianna aka Pleasant Valley Mom thinking, What Have I gotten Myself Into?

How to Overschedule and Burn Out Your Children

OK, it is now about 1:15 am and I am FINALLY finished with the DI paperwork. I copied most of it today but the damned detailed spreadsheet wouldn't work out at 2:30 am yesterday so I finally finished that too. I really did want to make sure I had spent under $125 (the budgeted amount) on this challenge and not $175 like it was telling me. The problem was that I had 25 feet of craft wire listed incorrectly so it was showing at $35 instead of .50. Or at least that was ONE of the problems. Anyway, it doesn't actually agree with what I am giving the appraisers but it is LESS than what I am giving the appraisers (the appraiser sheet estimates too high a cost for duct tape, for example).

I could work on it all night but it would never agree. This is why I hate Quicken and I hate to balance checkbooks. I am no accountant. I had a rough idea of what I had spent (about $110 to $120) and sure enough, one report says $107 and one says $116. So I'm pretty damn close in my head, and I haven't really overspent except for the color copies of the forms today (not part of or included in the budget but would you believe, over $59!!!) I sure hope I don't get audited, as they say. Although I think I am about as accurate as I can be at this point, and I even have receipts. Of course, part of the reason that I am trying to be accurate is so that my husband can write some of it off the taxes, since I always end up spending more of my personal money than my fair share when I do these things. It's one of the reasons I got out of Scouts--the recordkeeping was so burdensome and I always ended up out of pocket.

But I have just about had it with these oversheduled children and their parents! Some months ago I told everyone to totally block out March 6th for the TOURNAMENT because I didn't know for sure when we would be performing, etc. I also asked that the kids be present for the Instant Challenge Workshop where they all need to practice IC as a team, and for the dress rehearsal last Sunday. Well, in all cases (even tomorrow) someone can't be there or couldn't be there for the whole thing. The parents never tell me this until the last minute, as if I am going to argue with them or something. It really hacks me off. Now one little girl needs to go to soccer tomorrow, even though that means that the whole group will have to try to meet up with her mom in the middle of the day so she can go home. I wonder what other surprises are in store for me tomorrow. I sure hope they all show up at 7:30 am.

Now here's the thing about Destination Imagination: although there is a tournament and a competition, it's more about process than product. It's about teamwork and learning how to work together. It's very subjective (well most of it anyway) so you can't really predict how you will do. It's the Ice Dancing of the kids' activities world. Your goal should be do to your personal best. If you can do your personal best, then it is OK if you don't get the gold medal. You may be a bit disappointed but you shouldn't be disappointed if you don't win American Idol when you are next in line behind David Cook. But here's the trick--you get out of Destination Imagination what you put into it. You have fun and you get silly but you work and work and work on stuff. One of our backdrops took over 10 kid hours, and that was with two or three kids on it at all times. Some of the stuff they make can be incredibly involved. And they have all these grandiose ideas at the beginning, many of which turn out not to come to fruition, which is a shame but it's just DI. Sometimes the ideas you have are too grand for the budget and the time you have to complete them.

The other thing about DI that a lot of people don't get is that the kids do all the work. If the parents help or do it for them, it is interference and it's a penalty at the tournament. I am supposed to facilitate and generate ideas but not give them ideas. I am supposed to get them to do research and look at books and such. I am supposed to get them to learn by participating in workshops and trying things out. This year we learned how to make paper pulp and sculpt in clay, and we also learned that our clay puppet head just would not attach well to the body and was very heavy, so we spent a lot of time on a solution that got abandoned. But here again, this was process, not product. (And I also learned that you should never make paper pulp out of newspaper in your kitchen--the ink is a MESS! Finally had to borrow my friend Viv's dye pot--thank God for the SCA, where people who live in apartments own pots that you can use to make a big mess in.) The next time I'm at a thrift shop or CCA or something, I am looking for a big dye pot myself. Or I could always just keep borrowing someone else's dye pot.

So I'm tired of the constantly overscheduled kids. They don't get the full benefit when they don't participate. Now I could be a meanie like a soccer coach and say if you don't participate for a certain number of hours, you don't get to do X. My friend Cyndy who coaches a high level team that has been to Globals makes her kids sign in and out to see who is putting in the most time. She also told me not to let one girl participate in IC (instant challenge) since she missed the workshop for a drama thing at church. But you know, I'm not that big a hard ass. For one thing, the girl that missed is one of our most experienced team members and I WANT her in IC because she knows what she is doing. Also, the dress rehearsal for the church thing supposedly came up kind of last minute, and these things happen. Finally, her mom is very supportive of DI and is being an appraiser this year, a substantial time commitment. So no, I am not booting her out of IC, in part for political reasons, and except for this one thing, her attendance has been pretty good. But I do think that from now on I may make it a policy that if you miss the IC workshop you can't do IC with the team. Because we have a really good team and we could be great, but only with time and effort and commitment, just like a sports team. We have the brains--we need the focus and the unscheduled blocks of time. And that is the hardest thing of all to come by in our overstructured and overscheduled society.

My girls participate in Destination Imagination, which I coach, and Scouts. Because we do the SCA thing and the Ren Faire thing in the spring, we aren't in sports right now. The last time we tried it, it severely limited what we could do on Saturdays with our other activities. If my girls were really talented at sports it would be one thing, but they are small for their age and don't have a lot of sports aptitude. M was really good at soccer but when the field got larger and the girls got taller, they mowed over her (even her own teammates). She was a great ball handler but they just took it away from her (even her own teammates) and then missed the goal. I mean, M could score 6 goals in a game when the field was small, but she couldn't keep up with the running. And A in particular struggled with her asthma in the spring. They play in February around here and it was really cold this year, so I was glad that we were out of it. Plus, it looks like they are going to be around 5 feet tall IF we are lucky.

We have tried gymnastics and dance but with the ADHD they are both so distracted that it just becomes extended playtime. And dance gets really expensive with two girls, about $1000 a semester around here by the time you buy all the costumes and the shoes and pay for all the lessons. So I haven't done it. I got M a guitar for Christmas and I got A the small drumset from Target and I would like to get them into music, but not until DI is over. Plus they have Scouts and scout campouts and such, and it often conflicts even with DI (they are missing the Father Daughter Girl Scout Dance this year, unfortunately, because of this conflict). The DI state tournament, which we were going to go to and watch even if we didn't place high enough to go and perform, is here locally this year. Unfortunately it conflicts with the big Girl Scout campout. So if our team makes it to the State Tournament, we will have a big brouhaha about all of that, since five of our six team members are supposed to go on the campout.

(send me a note if you know how to spell that "brou ha ha" word, OK)??

I guess I am not feeling very amused right now. I am so tired of kids missing DI because of all of these other things that they are doing. The girl down the street has soccer, hockey, student council and jump rope team. And she's 9. Another girl I know who doesn't have time for DI does gymnastics 5 days a week. Another kid I know is in three sports. The Tae Kwon Do and Karate people do it 3-4 times a week. Plus in addition to the games there are bithday parties and family things, and so forth and so on. Two of the girls missed dress rehearsal, one because of a family thing that was important (90th birthday party of grandpa), but it would have been nice if she had told me in advance so I could have rescheduled. The other missed dress rehearsal because her family decided to take an impromptu vacation and forgot totally about it. So I had to schedule ANOTHER one, because with only 4 girls to do a skit that was intended for 6, the firs dress rehearsal was a total train wreck. We have it on tape. I am trying to read the parts of the other two girls and keep time. It's a mess.

We finally ALL practiced today and all I could think of was how much better this skit would have been if we had all practiced together Sunday or even before. But we couldn't get our props, including the giant Chinese Dragon Puppet, done in time to practice much before, plus it has been way too cold in the garage and because we live out here in Texas, we don't have a basement. In fact, we didn't even paint anything this year except a few chairs because it just wasn't warm enough most of the time to paint outside or in the garage. And we had several days where we had three of the six show up for work sessions (two of them being my kids, of course).

My daughters get a little frustrated because if there is anything that needs to be done in DI they end up having to do it. But I have explained that this actually benefits them, and that if they want me to coach they need to put in the extra time too. In fact, I do have one rule: they can't take unfinished stuff to tournament. If they scale back the original idea, that's fine--but they can't take a half finished backdrop or puppet or something to tournament. They must finish their props, costumes, etc. to take them. The items don't have to be perfect and some of them don't even have to be good but they do need to be DONE. Finish what you start.

I am not sure where all this overscheduling of 9 year olds will lead. I think it will lead to total burnout, and that some of these kids will decide not to go to college or will not want to do much with extracurriculars even in high school. Others will be so specialized by the time they are 12 that they won't have anything to fall back on if whatever their specialty is doesn't work out in the long run. I remember meeting kids at Target who weren't in college and had very little future, and in one case it was a gal who was a great soccer player but dropped it for political reasons after her junior year of high school. She did complete high school but she had nothing at all to fall back on and couldn't afford to go to school, got no soccer scholarship, and for all I know she is still folding towels in Domestics like I was. The difference being that I wanted to be there and make a little Christmas money and get away from 4 year old toddlers for a few hours, and for her it was a career.

Now those of you who know me from high school know that I was overscheduled, but I did this myself (not my parents). And I learned the hard way senior year that being the News Editor of the Paper and the Literary Magazine Editor and in NHS and Key Club and Latin Club and all of these other things--and I didn't do sports--was very difficult. It led to a lot of late nights and a lot of tears sometimes as I tried to balance schoolwork with all the writing and the other more academic interests. I was on the Certamen team (college bowl for Latin geeks). I flirted with chess club and debate team (or at least with the guys--my kind of guys!!!) I studied Mythology and took the exam at the Latin convention and was third in the state, two years running (see, always an also-ran). I was fourth in the class (again, always a bridesmaid, never the bride). I thought I was really hot shit, let me tell you.

When I got to college things were different. My parents wanted me in a sorority because I went to their college and that was the thing to do at William and Mary, so I was in a sorority, Kappa Alpha Theta. Not really my thing, being around all those women with all their hormones, but there were some good experiences that came out of there and I learned a lot about "corporate" leadership skills, although unfortunately since there were no men involved it wasn't very realistic. But a sorority is generally very well run from a business perspective--a sorority is a little on campus business. They are in the business of self promotion so they are always reminding you when to wear your pin (and when not to, like when you are drunk). On Mondays we were supposed to dress up (plaid kilts and sweaters and clogs, really!) and wear our pins because that was Meeting Day. On Fridays it was Jersey Day and you wore your Kappa Alpha Theta black and gold jersey but not your pin. Because on Friday you just might go out and party or something in college. Go figure. Anyway, other than Theta and studying with my graduate student boyfriend (who took me to the library every night from after dinner until 10 pm, and I am not kidding), the only other activity I had was literary magazine, where I was a mere staffer for three years. I didn't have time to write for the college paper; I tried but it was too much like an unpaid job. I was spending the rest of my time either studying my ass off at William and Mary or having sex. Seriously. And the studying was much more prolific than the sex too. No wonder I made Phi Beta Kappa ahead of my much brighter friend Rise, and got nearly straight A's, was 12th in the class, and went on to a bright future at UVA Law School. Hopefully you can read between the lines and catch a bit of the sarcasm here because I'm not trying to brag. I really did do all these things, but it turned out that law wasn't exactly what it was cracked up to be for me, although that's a whole different essay.

The point is that I didn't burn myself out with activities in college because I learned my lesson in high school. College was harder than high school so I concentrated on my studies. It paid off. In law school, my extracurriculars (other than sex of course) were the Journal of Law and Politics (ironic since I don't really follow politics much but this journal specialized in things like election law, which I find fascinating, and had people of both political parties involved in it), and Moot Court, which I only did briefly because my partner was a lovely woman and a space cadet with a huge brain but very little common sense. She had the longest hair I've ever seen and she would have LOVED the SCA. She was very bright but she was a bigger pointy headed geek than even me, and she struggled with appellate argument although this would have been a good place for her in the legal world. I wish I knew what happened to her--I miss her. Maybe she is on FB. Anyway, between me and my partner, with whom I was probably very well-matched, we just weren't practical enough and just didn't have enough of that killer instinct, so we didn't advance beyond the first round. My boyfriend at the time went on to the final round of Moot Court--he wouldn't be partners with me though because he didn't think I was smart enough and after all, I was only a woman. I didn't realize until I got to law school how sexist life out there could be, at least in the 1980's--I had been sheltered by sorority life, I guess.

My favorite part of law school was my trial practice class, where we got to do a criminal defense case and I put panty hose over my head at closing argument. It was a lot of fun, even though I got reamed by the judge ( a REAL judge in real life) becuase of course I couldn't have gotten away with that in a real trial. But it got a laugh out of the jury and we won our case. That's me, Liz Wilson, Comedy Trial Lawyer. Not that I ever really wanted to do criminal defense work (corporate defense work being so much more on the morally high ground, you know), but I sure did enjoy that trial!!!

Well, I should really go to bed because I have a 14 hour day tomorrow with six (well, now it may be down to 5) 10 year olds and I suppose I need some sleep. And my Earl Gray Lady tea and Samoas are gone so I guess it's time to go push the dogs off my pillow and wake up my husband briefly and climb back into bed. Tomorrow is another day. In fact, since it's already Saturday, tomorrow is Sunday and by then the DI tournament will be OVER!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!

Pleasant Valley Mom, wondering if she can get away with visiting the Team Manager lounge this year and switching off with Hubby. He can visit it too if he likes.