St. Valentine's Day Martyrdom

It's Valentine's Day today! Did you remember? Have you been remembered?

This holiday is seen my by many (especially men) as a Greeting Card Holiday. Manufactured by Hallmark. Not really important. Why spend money for today? I can get her flowers any day of the year, when they aren't so expensive !! (Ah-ha, but do you????)

For women, it is seen as a sort of bizarre litmus test: Does he love me? Did he remember me? Did he get me something nice or something I wanted? Did he think of me without prompting or would he have forgotten me again this year?

For single people or those without a relationship, whether or not they want one, it can be a painful reminder of their lonliness or of the fact that even though they may not want relationships, they don't have them regardless. Maybe I don't want a Ferrari (I;m not that into cars, although I wish I had the purchase price), but I'm not getting one in this life whether I want one or not. For some people, unfortunately it is the same with relationships. They aren't looking for love but love rarely finds them whether they are looking or not. Valentine's Day just rubs salt into the wounds, like Charlie Brown checking his mailbox: "I know no one likes me. Why do we need a holiday to emphasize it???"

My daughter Miranda did a cute little presentation yesterday on St. Valentine and his Day at Kingdom A & S. Unfortunately she had to follow Don Alaric's awesome evolution of the sword class (but that was her choice). We had kids and adults spellbound as Alaric told us about swords (he brought one case with about 20 or so swords and knives of various styles and types used before and in period). He even had one from 1600 although most of course were modern reproductions. There was also a 200 year old calvary sword. We took pictures of kids holding swords, handled swords and really big knives, etc. etc. Of course, the kids are a little foggy on the history (he referred to a Confederate sword, for example, and they didn't really know what that meant, most being between 9 and 12 and living in Texas). Now, I knew what a Confederate was when I was 10 but then I grew up in Virginia, not too many hours south of the battlefield of Bull Run/Manassas (I do regret not touring this with my ex boyfriend who was a Civil War geek). But out here in Texas these kids know the gory details of the Alamo but have yet to study the Great War Between the States (known as the Civil War to you Yankees). Anyway, back to swords and St. Valentine. If you need information about swords, buying them, making them, or their history (and that includes Asian and other weapons that were beyond the scope of this presentation), Don Alaric is your man!

So, Miranda had come up with the idea to research St. Valentine and his Day on her own, and she did all the computer research on her own. Some of the things she found out were pretty interesting. I assumed that Valentines were mostly a Victorian and later custom, and had even planned for the kids to make little Valentines from craft foam. This activity went over like a turd in a punchbowl for these jaded 3rd graders and up after Alaric's sword class; I guess this group is just too bloodthirsty, and too interested in war and killing at their age to stoop to thinking of the language of love. I suggested they make valentines for their parents from my lovely Wally-World craft foam kits and was met with nothing but scorn. I even said, "the boys don't have to do it" and my daughters said, "no, we don't want to do it. We want to go outside and play in the melting snow and watch Youth Boffer." I reminded them that I was told Youth Boffer (kids wearing hockey helmets and padding and hitting each other with foam-type swords) wouldn't be until about 2:30 or 3 and it was only 2pm so they were just practicing out there and working on technique, but NO. They wanted to go outside, watch the practices, and play with the melting snow. My husband and I hauled three tubs of MOC crafts and games to site to entertain those damn kids and all we needed was melting snow to entertain them (tubs were packed way before the snowfall so it was easier to just bring them than to scale down). In fact, while they did watch some youth boffer, which was a lot of fun, the snow was definitely the hit of the day, and dumping big clumps of it into the pond at the fish hatchery. And playing Robin Hood and pretending to fence. Sign those kids up for youth rapier today!!!! Their days of wanting to do crafts and boring Ministry of Childrn'e activiites are over.

In fact, they are not very domestic at all. I tried to get Amelia to finish hemming Miranda's dress (the one Miranda bailed on a few nights ago). She sat down to try, saying, "I like sewing. I'm good at it!" Then after 5 minutes of watching the other kids run around and the youth boffer kids beating the crap out of each other, she said, "No, I don't want to sew. It's boring. You sew,mommy. I want to go play Robin Hood!!"(I guess I need to remind her again that Robin Hood probably sewed his own garb in the forest or had his closest servant do it for him. Oh, I forgot, that's me.)

However, the kids did listen to Miranda's presentation for a few minutes and here are some of the most important things I learned: St. Valentine performed marriages in secret during the reign of Emperor Claudius II in 3rd century Rome (Claudius was trying to discourage marriage so he would have better soldiers who weren't tied down to wives and families). Claudius ordered him put to death for this (she didn't get into it but he was stoned, beaten and then taken outside the city walls and beheaded. At least this is one version. I bet Alaric could tell you what kind of sword or axe they used, and I'm not joking). Valentine, according to legend, sent the first "valentine" greeting himself to his jailer's daughter, signing it "from your Valentine." The story is murky and my own research indicated that there are more than one martyred individuals named "Valentine" and the status of St. Valentine as a saint in the Catholic Church has diminished over time (no feast day any more, for example, and as far as I recollect from my almost a Catholic days, it is not a holy day of obligation, meaning you don't have to go to mass. But I could be wrong about that. (Actually my ex boyfriend was almost a pre-Vatican II Catholic so he probably did treat it as a holy day of obligation--anything for another opportunity to go to mass--in between infidelities of course--for that guy!)

But back to Miranda's research. It is believed that the Christian church may have decided to comemmorate the anniversary of Valentine's death or burial in mid-Feburary in an effort to Christianize the celebration of pagan Lupercalia. We always celebrated the fesat of Lupercalia (a time for cleansing and purification in Rome, using salt) about the ides of February (15th) in Latin class in high school. Although Mrs. Lurlene Todd my Latin teacher didn't really overly emphasize it (I believe Mrs. Todd is still alive today so my mom could ask her), Lupercalia was a fertility festival dedicated to Faunus, the Roman god of agriculture, as well as to the founders of Rome, the twins Romulus and Remus (suckled by the wolf mother--remember the statue?? I can tell you from first hand experience that the double nursing of twins is a rather draining event, in more ways than one!) As you may recall, the Christian church did this with Christmas too, moving it to December not because Christ was born then but because it conflicted with the festival, now but not then at the end of the year, of Saturnalia. In fact, in the Roman calendar I believe the Ides of March (15th, day of Julius Ceasar's death) are the start of the new year. I am stating this from memory of many Latin Club days long ago, so if I am incorrect please send me a note through the Blog or FaceBook.

Pope Gelasius declared February 14th to be St. Valentine's Day about 498 A.D. and outlawed the Roman lottery system for romantic pairing. During the Middle Ages, in France and England, February 14th was considered the beginning of the birds' mating season, a day for romance (I better watch out because those swallows will be nesting again by the front door and there will be bird poop all over the stoop soon--they reuse the nest up there every year, sometimes twice).

The oldest known valentine was written by Charles, Duke of Orleans to his wife about 1415, when he was improsoned in the Tower of London following the Battle of Agincourt. Apparently the British Libary still has this greeting although I don't know if it is available for the public to see. King Henry V also hired a writer named John Lydgate to compose a valentine note to Catherine of Valois (the first ghost-written greeting card???) In Britain, Valantine's Day became popoular around the 17th century (1600s of course) and by the middle of the 18th century (1700s) it was common for friends and lovers in all social classes to exchange greetings or small gifts and tokens of affection (the origin of modern Valentine's Day retail). Printed cards were used near the end of the 1700s because of course by then they had the printing press and its technology had been improved. Ready made cards were easily used to express emotions that people did not feel comfortable expressing face to face (also kind of like today, even though we are more expressive today concerning our emotions). Cards were even mailed by the 1700's because postage became cheaper (but remember the Stamp Act? Is it cheaper after the American Revolution? Most likely.) Americans started the tradition probably in the early 1700's.

Mass-produced Valentines were initiated by Esther A. Howland (a woman of course) in the 1840's. She also made her own cards with real lace, ribbons, and colorful pictures known as "Scrap," and she is considered the Mother of the Valentine. However, the oldest known Valentine Card is on display at the British Museum (the research doesn't say how old it was but say written Valentines begin to appear after 1400, an apparent reference to the poem written by the Duke of Orleans in prison. So I can't tell from Miranda's research if the one displayed is the Duke of Orleans' letter or a different Valentine--has anyone reading this ever been there and seen it? I believe that the British Museum and the British Library are in the same building but again, my recollections of London 30 years ago are a tad hazy).

Now one billion cards are sent each year, vs. 2.5 billion for Christmas, and approximately 85 percent of all valentines are purchased by women. And I have done my part this year, and gone overboard as usual. I made cards using my Cricut and a $1 pack of card stuff for my family and have a $1 pack for next year (I had plenty of scrapbook paper I could use but no cards and envelopes left that I could find). But I also got my husband candy (the gift that keeps on giving since I can have some too), a little plaque that he can hang up in his closet telling him how much I love him (awe! Only $5) and a practical gift, a coffee pot for Gulf War that has little to do with Valentine's Day other than to keep the caffeine coming at Gulf War. (I hate our current camping coffee pot; it's hard to pour and it gets grounds all over everything. Maybe this will be better). I got my daughters little $5 stuffed critters in baskets with a minimum of candy (they still have the Valentine's candy from school last year), and little Valentine's Day fleece blankets with matching pillows (also for Gulf War). I don't usually do this but I even got myself Valentine's pjs because the bottoms, which match the girls' blankets and are also made of fleece, can also be worn to---you guessed it--Gulf War! I didn't have any fleece bottoms and I have to wear the men's long underwear since Wally-World had no long underwear for women (so now you know what I will be wearing under my underdress!) I got little $5 candleholders for the girls' teachers (and me). Of course I got the kids their valentines for school (holographic dogs this year; wished I had gotten Harry Potter, remember?) and the little boxes of candy to hand out to their classmates, like all the kids do at our elementary school. I got the movie "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" even though I wanted "Julie and Julia" or the three seasons of "Beauty and the Beast" for ME (hint,hint). The "Cloudy" movie concerns an invention gone awry that is later fixed and I wanted the DI kids to see it, although probably they won't have a chance to watch it until their DI party at my house following the March 6th tournament (but that date would be March 9, just around the corner)! In the past we watched "Meet the Robinsons," also a great movie about inventions.

I gave my husband a coupon for $1.50 off Valentines' cards when he went to the store the other day to get milk and bread and stuff, once some of the snow melted, and he looked at me blankly and said, "Oh, right, is it Valentine's Day already?" Now I have a big display with photos, fake flowers, stuffed animals from prior years, etc. right in the front hall--it looks like a Hallmark window. He made this statement while standing in front of it. I even told him about the movies I wanted and that I didn't want flowers this year but I have a feeling I know what I am getting. The $4.99 card he bought. If he had just bought two $1 cards for the girls he could have saved $1.50 and had cards for them for just .50 more but he didn't do the math and brought the coupon back (I know he bought me a card though because it's on the receipt--I'm a good snoop). But that's OK--I have his back (although this year for spite I just signed the cards for the girls from Mom--I was the one making them at 2 am today as I laid out the Valentine's Day stuff). Where would this family be without me?

So, Valentine's Day. Do you think I can guilt him into making waffles? I did get him to get us some nice seafood at the store for tonight, which I really hope I won't have to cook. I would really like a day off from cooking (although I still have to make those chocolate covered strawberries today--didn't get to it before Kingdom A & S.) Well, the kids would have eaten them all during Court anyway--they stayed in the back room to eat during Court yesterday to eat and I didn't make them bring their chairs in afterward, but they didn't behave very well back there with some of the other kids, so we won't be making that mistake again for a while.

By the way, Kingdom A & S was awesome! Some of the displays I liked the most (and I don't remember who did some of them) were the black illuminated manuscripts, the hand sewn dress out of silk velvet that had about 4 layers and at least 8 different types of fabric used (Amalia's I think), all completely done by hand; the Middle Eastern cooking dispay (fabulous food; didn't know I liked middle eastern cooking so much, but I am going to have to try it at home), Saqra's weaving and Katya's basketry (excellent documentation there), Maggie's research paper (giving me hope for the future since I'm not so artistic), Susannah the Herbalist's cough syrup although I didn't taste it, the medieval medicine cabinet, the Oak Gall ink display, the woodworking display in the back, Sylvius' blacksmithing tools and files, the medieval poetry display, wow! I ran out of Largess; in fact, I liked just about everything, including Neil's working trebuchet (display by one of the MOC children, and we had fun playing with that once the room was open for viewing). Wow, I sure hope Robert has time next year to make his project and compete. Now that we have seen some of the displays I think I have a better idea of things we could do to compete or at least display next year. And I had better get to work soon!!! Steppes Artisan is just around the corner!!!

OK, finally some advice for surviving St. Valentine's day: do something with someone you love. Even if it is your cat. (Not kidding--some of my friends are very close to their cats and prefer them to people. Having been a cat owner in the past I quite agree sometimes). Don't worry if you didn't get flowers or greeting cards or your husband wouldn't remember Valentine's Day on his own unless you hit him with a heart-studded 2 x 4. It's NOT the thought that counts; it's the people (or even critters) that count. My husband already showed me he loved me--he went to the store in the bad weather when he knew we were running low on groceries and he knew I was too chicken to go out in the snow. I just had to tell him what to buy. He drove us to Kingdom A & S in the fog and some bad weather just because he knew I wanted to go, and we were supposed to do MOC and a gate shift. He gave me money to take the kids over the fish hatchery for a tour, since he knew I gave him all my cash for the grocery store, and he didn't fuss when I bought them mood rings at the gift shop (Miranda lost hers in the snow, of course!). And he won't fuss when he sees the more than $100 of stuff that we really don't need that I bought for this holiday. At Wally-World of course.

Valentine's Day costs less at Wally-World. But I am in the 85%. It cost me over $100if you count the kids' stuff for school and the movie. It cost him $4.99.

Happy Valentine's Day.

Pleasant Valley Mom (is it too late to go back to bed???)