I am a former east coaster who has been transplanted to the great Republic of Texas, which as you may not know is almost it's own separate political entity. Or would like to be.
When I was in fourth or fifth grade I vaguely recall reading a few paragraphs about the Alamo and Sam Houston (anybody else remember that??) But now that I am in the Great State of Texas, the Alamo is a HUGE deal. Fortunately we saw it this summer when we were in San Antonio for an SCA event. And we saw it in detail, because that's the kind of people my husband and I are.
I mean, we spent three or four hours there. Who else does that? We took the tour, we saw the museum, we visited the tree,we saw and photographed the monuments, we read all the plaques, and we spent major bucks in the gift shop. We even counted up the number of Alamo soldiers who came from Scotland (oudr presumed ancestral home). Did you know there are remnants of original decoration in the buildings? Did you know that the church building was never finished (not until later when it became a memorial)? I even bought one of the books on the Alamo, signed by the author who was there at the gift shop that day. Although I admit I haven't read it yet. In fact, I wouldn't let anyone buy any cheap souveniers on the Riverwalk (well, almost none) because I wanted to wait and spend the money at the Alamo gift shop (the money supports the historical group that maintains it). I guess you would say we are hardcore when we visit historical sites.
Well, I'm so glad we did! The kids had to do TWO Alamo projects this week, an colored Alamo booklet shaped like the Alamo that opened up and had essays in it from the different characters, and Texas Revolution in a Can. I have to admit, this is a really cute little project, and it could be adapted for any type of historical event. I am thinking for my SCA reinactment and recreation group that "Norman Invasion in a Can"" or "Bayeaux Tapestry in a Can" (Which depicts the Norman Invasion) might be a really cool little project for the Ministry of Children to do. So I am going to start saving cans! I don't know if this will work at our Warlord event in May, where the kids are mostly outside, but we could possibly do it at our Artisan event in August (which is inside).
So, how do you make a Texas Revolution in a Can? Well, the kids had to create paper dolls representing several figures that they had studied, coloring them and writing information on the back (Sam Houston, Jim Bowie, Davy Crockett, Santa Ana, Susannah What's her name). Remember I went to school when things were not so politically correct, so I didn't learn about her. They also had to write letters (which they even crumpled up and distressed) from actual or pretend Alamo soldiers. They decorated the can with paper, crayons and markers and they had a map of the major battles, colored and color-coded. All of it rolled up to fit inside a small can with a lid. So all you need is a can with a lid, white typing paper, crayons, pencils and markers. In other words, if you have kids, and maybe even if you don't, you probably have everything you need already. The smallest size coffee cans or even oatmeal boxes with plastic tops work well, and we also used a toffee can that was left over from Christmas. If you don't have one, buy an oatmeal box and dump the oatmeal into another container or ziplock bag.
So, the pithy and sarcastic comments about this project are just not forthcoming today! I thought it was a cute and creative idea for them to use to learn about history. And I don't even like their history and social studies teacher. But then it's probably in the general curriculum and not her personal idea.
Although yes, I am still washing Barbie hair and dressing naked Barbies. I have a Barbie assembly line on a table by my front door. But I have about 5 Barbies for every Ken. I hope my Kens are heterosexual. If so, they have got it made. And most of them are Princes, but like in the real world, lots of beautiful women are fighting over a few hot, sexy, fabulously wealthy Princes. Of course, how hot and sexy can Ken be? He is missing a few key pieces of anatomy.
And another thing. I know Barbie now sometimes wears little flesh colored underpants but she never wears a flesh-colored bra, even a strapless. A strapless would not show under her strapless gowns, so why not? She just has these big, nippleless breasts. Yes, that's right, Barbie has no nipples. I guess they would show through the clothes and the censors would get upset. I am OK with her having no nipples (after all, 2 year old girls play with Barbies and I don't think they need the anatomy lesson at that age). But why no bra? Amelia commented yesterday (hard not to notice with ten naked Barbies laying around) that "she sure has big breasts." I mentioned that in actuality, no one who is as thin and tall as Barbie has breasts that big in real life unless they have been cosmetically enhanced. It's true, guys, sorry!
Those of us who have had large breasts all our lives are either short (so it makes us look dumpy) or overweight (so we actually ARE dumpy). The one gal I have seen, in my whole life, who really looked like a living Barbie Doll was wearing a tight pink shirt advertising a plastic surgery clinic. Seriously. And she did look awesome, if you like those rounded boobs that don't bounce. Like Barbie's!!!
Most of our Barbies are blonde. I am not sure how this happened. They look like a Tri Delt convention. In fact, many of them have the same face. Oh, sorry, that's just like out here in the suburbs!!!
My daughter Miranda said I could get rid of the Barbie palace as long as I kept the Barbie minivan. Now that's one kid who has her head on straight. She knows that a lot of us may have to get rid of our palaces one day, but the minivan or SUV will be the last to go!
(We have a Barbie minivan because it seats more than the Barbie SUV; when you have more than 25 Barbies these things become important).
Signing off now. I really want to go read Tolkien (just finally got Children of Hurin) but I really ought to tag some clothing for consignment. I was going to sell these Barbies but they are just too damn much fun to mess with. Maybe I could do a display for Arts and Sciences in the SCA: Medieval fashion through the ages, Barbie style (I am thinking it would take a hell of a lot less fabric!) Of course, that would mean I have to learn to sew Barbie clothes but there are worse things in life.
I wouldn't win any awards but I would get some laughs.
Pleasant Valley Mom
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