Teachers vs. Students, or A Generation That Feels Entitled

Well, a teacher named Natalie Monroe (I think) has been in the news lately for posting a lot of negative comments about her students on a blog. Now she didn't name the school or the teachers and students, but she did express her frustration (and some of it with a healthy dose of profanity) at the sense of entitlement that she feels that her students sometimes have. My favorite part was the comments that she wanted to put on the report card but couldn't, such as (and I paraphrase because I'm too lazy to look it up right now): "This child is worse than the last. You must be the worst parents in the world" and things of that nature.

I posted a link to articles about this teacher and most of what I got were people reacting negatively to the teacher rather than the students. I mentioned that she's entitled to free speech, but one friend did comment that "free speech isn't free." He meant that if she's going to attack her students, even if not by name, in a public forum such as a blog, one of the consequences of her free speech is that the school board may choose to fire or suspend her.

My friend is correct that "free speech isn't free" and there are a number of court cases out there recently about people who trash their employer or work conditions etc. on Twitter, Facebook and Blogs and are fired--do they have a right to do it and such, and what should be the consequences of it, and how far does free speech go,and should employers monitor this kind of stuff--but I am actually more interested in the question of why teachers like Ms. Monroe are so fed up with the kids in our educational system. Because if they all quit tomorrow we would have no teachers.

I hear a lot about kids with a sense of Entitlement. In other words, they think the world OWES them a lot because they have always been given a lot, so why does it need to stop? I personally believe that while this has been a problem for a long time, it is getting even worse, although I'm not sure why.

Part of it is that everything is so "kid centered." Goodie bags at the pharmacy. Coloring sheets at the restaurant. Happy meal toys at McDonald's. Every time you turn around as a parent, someone is handing your child free stuff. It may be for advertising purposes but the kid gets used to being given everything by everyone, even strangers. For birthday parties and soccer parties etc. you get "goodie bags." Parents bring snacks to all the games, as if you couldn't go an hour and a half without eating something. We are told to have snacks for Scouts and Destination Imagination. The kids take snacks to school if they have an early or late lunch. So the kids are constantly eating (usually something that comes in a bag and contains hydrogenated vegetable oil) or being given various free gifts. It's no wonder that some of them are obese and materialistic when they get older.


At some point parents decided that they were supposed to be their children's friends and not their parents. Now I want a good relationship with my kids too but I am not their friend. A parent has to say no. A parent has to impose limits. Friends get to just hang out and have fun. Let's face it, after they are teenagers, the kids probably don't want to hang out with their parents and have fun. They want to hang out with their friends. I am seeing this already and I think it is just one of those things you have to get used to as a parent. You can treat your child respectfully but you are the grownup and you have to be the bad guy sometimes.

Another friend of mine, who lives in a really affluent neighborhood (much nicer than most of us live in) has had several problems with his teenage daughter. One of the more minor ones is that she recently spent $2000 on clothes and her mother (they are divorced) had a fit. Now the mom gave the girl the credit card, and I don't think she ever gave her a spending limit. Don't you think a limit would have been helpful here? (by the way, I don't think I spend more than $2000 a year on clothes for the whole family!! And if I do, you can bet I get some of that money back by reselling the old clothes, especially the kids' stuff). I mean, whose fault is this, the teen's or the parents'? You know, if I could go spend $2000 on clothes without my husband minding, I'd probably do it too. But I don't think that would be appropriate even if I was working, unless I had an awfully good salary!

I think every teen needs a spending limit for clothes. I don't care if it's $200 or $20,000 as long as it's a realistic limit for the kid based on the household budget. Of course, my kids would never be given a credit card and told to just go shopping in the first place--I'd be more inclined to give them cash, a debit card or a gift card. You can't overspend if you pay cash!!! My friend tried to tell me that his daughter's clothes are just really expensive because they live in an "affluent" neighborhood (I guess that's different from the crappy neighborhoods or "wanna be" neighborhoods that the rest of us live in). I don't think the cost of the clothes is the point--it's the amount of the budget and whether the child has ever been given any limits. Because if she decides to use her credit cards like that when she's an adult and is in a starter job, she will be in bankruptcy in a year (unless her parents, of course, bail her out--which of course they probably will).

My latest thing with the girls is to try to give them allowance and pay them for grades, but then when they want stuff, make them use their allowance and grade money only, unless it's for something that is a necessity such as clothing or food (but if they want lots of expensive snacks at the movies I'm not above making them bring their money even if I pay for the movie). They had some Christmas gift cards and they wanted the GLEE DVDs, so they used their gift cards. I think I paid about $1.22 for both the first season and the first half of the second season (and Robert was ecstatic that we could finally delete some GLEE from the DVR so there would be more room for Star Trek, Jeopardy, old movies and documentaries). Yes, I'm the mean mom. They don't have cell phones yet and they are not on Facebook, adn I'm not letting them on it unless they "friend" their parents. You know, they can have face to face and private and even text conversations without me listening in--they don't need to be posting on the Internet for all to see without me knowing about it.

Now GLEE's an interesting show. I probably shouldn't let my kids watch it but since they are still talking to me now I do, but I watch it with them. It does deal with bullying, teen pregnancy, gay teens, teen dieting and body image and other "cutting edge" issues in a much more dramatic and less "High School Musical--Everybody at this school is just AWESOME!" way. People on GLEE do mean things to each other. They lie, cheat, bully, act sarcastic, and sing. It's actually not that far off the mark from high school sometimes. You have the jocks, the cheerleaders, the overweight kids, the drama/music kids, the band kids, the goth/steampunk kids, the gay kids, the minority kids, the Jewish kids, the thug kids, the disabled kids, etc. Although they don't seem to have the "intellectual" good student kids on this show. In fact, most of the kids seem rather dumb on an intellectual level. So, I'm still the unrepresented minority.

I think my favorite character is Mercedes, who is an overweight African American teen girl who can really, really sing (in fact I think she's the best singer on the show). She played Frankenfurter in the Rocky Horror Glee Show (they had a fun time doing that for prime time!) and she sang an amazing version of Sweet Transvestite (although she had to be from "Sensational Transylvania.") Most of the Rocky Horror show went totally over the girls' heads--they have no clue what a transvestite is, and especially when the role is played by a girl instead of a boy. They wanted to see the real movie and I said, "Maybe when you're sixteen or so." I like Mercedes because she has no fear. She just does what she wants and says what she wants even though sometimes inside she is really lonely and hurting (there aren't a lot of black guys at the school and she doesn't have many dates, and she's not cute and thin like the Cheerios on the cheerleading squad). In fact, she was on the squad for a while until she found out what she needed to do, which was starve herself to death in order to lose weight. At that point she quit. And good for her!! She's very attractive but she doesn't know it, and what makes her attractive is not really her appearance but her confidence.

Of course, one of the reasons that Mercedes is my favorite character is not because she's overweight like real people sometimes are, but that that she's not whiny all the time like all the other kids. Blonde cheerleader Brittany is just extremely stupid and sad. Santana, another cheerleader like Brittany, is the really really mean girl. Quinn, the head cheerleader, is pretty and talented but can also be a backstabbing litte b-i-t-c-h. Rachel, the big singing star, has a lovely Broadway voice but she walks all over everyone else because she thinks she's more talented than they are, and she's obnoxious. Finn, the football quarterback who can sing, is just clueless about life and cute but kind of dumb. Puckerman is the thug and he's the most attractive of the boys in some ways, but his moral compass is totally out of wack, so he's the bad boy everyone loves. Sam is the blonde hunky football star who's obsessed with his appearance and being perfect (boring!!). Artie is the kid in a wheelchair who's really nice but full of self pity. The Asian kid, Mike, doesn't say much and mostly dances. The Asian girl, Tina, same thing, although she does wear really interesting steampunk and goth style clothes that would get you thrown out of our schools on dress code violations (come to think of it, so would some of the other outfits these kids wear). The gay kid, Kurt, had to transfer to another school due to bullying, and he's a really great guy (and this kid is an awesome actor who used to do Destination Imagination), but he's very sensitive. So none of the boys really do much for me--they're--well, boys (actually all of them are in their 20's).

But they all just Whine and Whine about EVERYTHING (except for Mercedes, and she does it sometimes too). "Mr. Shu, (the Glee Club Director), why can't I have the solo? Rachel always gets it!" "Mr. Shu, do we have to sing this stupid song from the 70's that you like?" "Mr. Shu, why do we have to wear these stupid outfits?" On and on and on. Whine about teachers. Whine about school assignments. Whine about whatever you don't like because if you make enough noise about it, someone will fix things for you so they don't have to listen to you whine.


When did we get to whine about everything just because it doesn't suit us? I don't like my chicken. I don't like my milk. I don't like this dress. I don't want to go outside. I don't want to come inside. I don't want to get off the computer. I dont' want to set the table. I don't want to watch this show. I don't want to do my homework. I'll do it later (maybe). On and on and on. My kids do it too and some of these whines are from mine, especially one of them in particular who we call "Stinkerbelle" when she gets into one of these moodes. She got so whiny and ugly with everyone yesterday that I had to speak to her and dock her allowance one dollar. She did shape up a bit after that though.

So, kids, get this: the world does not owe you a living. Many good people are out of work right now. So get serious about school or your career and stop whining about what you want to be when you grow up. Some of us still don't know.

Also, please please please stop asking me for everything you see that someone else has and you don't have. We have a lot of stuff here at the house but we don't have EVERYTHING and we never will. I'm sorry that you don't have an ipad/ipod/video conferencing phone/bmw/pool/treehouse/trampoline/$150 cocktail dress for the opera. I'm really sorry but I'm doing the best I can here. Your dad and I do without plenty so you can have more. Maybe we should not give you as much as we do, just maybe.

There will always be someone with more expensive toys or clothes than you. ALWAYS. Learn to deal with it. We have. This was also true when we had two incomes and no kids and plenty of money for whatever we wanted to do, within reason. There were still plenty of people with MORE.

(Some people say "Less is More" but I must admit that I am actually a "More is More" kind of girl. "Less to me is just "less.")

I felt terrible earlier this week when we went to pick up our Girl Scout cookies and the mom, who put us off doing this for an hour and a half so she could go shopping, had just bought her daughter a brand new spring green cocktail style dress to wear to the opera field trip, with matching yellow shoes (the underskirt was yellow) and beading on it (cost estimate for the whole thing about $200), while my daughter was torn between wearing a secondhand dress picked up at Once Upon a Child and a Christmassy Justice outfit that she hadn't worn over the holidays, that was new but obviously not for spring. The weather had turned warm since we had planned the outfit, and the fact was that everything she had was either too wintery or too casual and for summer. She was leaning toward the secondhand dress but decided on the Christmassy outfit with more glittery stuff on it, since the other child had the fancy new dress. We also gussied it up with some of my jewelry. (She had the best jewelry there, even if she was a tad overaccessorized).

I only felt vindicated when we went on the field trip and it turned out that everyone else, except for this girl and one other, was wearing their holiday clothing or some older dress that had been purchased for a prior occasion. The only other girl in a new, fancy dress has two dentists for parents. Now there's a profession to consider.

The interesting thing was that while we were there, some of the other school groups got there and a number of them were NOT dressed up at all but were wearing jeans and casual clothing. Little Miss Green Dress said, "Why aren't those kids dressed up for the opera? We were told to dress up!!" I said, "look, I don't know where those kids are from or how they were told to dress, but you know, not everyone has dressy clothing in their wardrobe. A lot of people in the community next to ours can only afford the basics and don't dress up, even for their jobs or church." This is true. The community next to us is primarily Hispanic and many of the kids qualify for free lunch and get clothes at Christian Community Action. They go to church in jeans. Most of their parents work in jobs that require only casual dress.

She looked shocked. It didn't occur to her that not everyone lives in a $500,000 house like she does or gets a new cocktail dress (or at least has other decent clothing in their closets) to wear to a function like that. She's a nice girl but she has that sense of "Entitlement." You know, "I'm adorable and my parents love me so everyone else does too, and the world is my oyster." Now this is a nice, smart child who will probably do just fine in life, but altogether too many kids have this attitude.

So, kids out there: it's not that the adults really hate you or your parents, but you need to be realistic about your abilities and don't think for a minute that the world owes youanything. It's tough out there, even for the good, smart, hard-working people. Your parents will shelter you as long as they can from this, but sooner or later you will find out that the world is probably NOT your oyster. Or even a clam. Sometimes the world is a stinky old crayfish and you get to suck out the stuff in the head. Yuck.

(Of course, if you are from Louisiana it won't bother you).

Pleasant Valley Mom (going to go see what my kids think they are entitled to this evening).

Valentine's Day Drinks at the Tilted Kilt

Here I am on Valentine's Day, a day that I know makes most single people miserable. In fact, I am suffering from Valentine's Day overload, having purchased and wrapped gifts for husband, two children, and five teachers and made 7 homemade cards (four of which got mailed very late on Friday night so they probably won't be to relatives in time anyway).

My husband and I had a rather unorthodox celebration on Friday night. We had dropped off the girls at a sleepover about 30 minutes away and realized on our way back home that the new Tilted Kilt is open. Now I had never been to the Tilted Kilt but I had remarked when I saw that they were building it that it might be a good place for a birthday party or something (for an adult).

Little did I realize that the Tilted Kilt is like the Hooters of the British Isles. Ok, I've never been to Hooters and my husband said that the outfits at Hooters are worse (by which he means better, of course, if you are a leering male). The gals at the Tilted Kilt basically wear a tartan push up bra with a little skimpy white shirt over it, a very short and low slung "kilt" that's kind of like a bikini bottom with a skirt, knee socks and black gillies. When they serve the drinks you feel (if you are a woman, at least) like you should look away because you get an eyefull. It makes Scarborough Faire look like a nunnary (except for those ladies ascending the rock climbing wall).

They have AWESOME food though. My shepherd's pie was the best I've ever had, including in England, which is not noted for its fine cuisine anyway. My husband had a pastrami sandwich that had fabulous pastrami in it, and the drinks were pretty good too. Although I recommend sticking to beer--I had a carribean rum drink (because that's what you drink in a Scottish pub, right?) and then I tried to get traditional with a rasberry shandy (good but too rich for me after all that shepherd's pie), and I think I spent enough to cover my Valentine's day flowers. In fact, I may not be GETTING any Valentine's flowers this year because my excessive bar tab kind of blew the entertainment budget. Seriously, those drinks were oveer $8 each. Stick to the beer.

Ok, I'm not a prude or anything and the ladies did indeed look lovely and appear to be enjoying themselves. But I am not so sure about making people dress like that for a job, especially in a bad economy. I found it a bit degrading for them, at least. I'm sure they get hit on a lot and are treated like hookers by some of the customers, even though they are just college kids trying to make a buck. I'm not sure I would want one of my daughters working there even assuming she was 21 in order to serve drinks. I also noted that the ONE busboy, a nice looking guy with lots of muscles, was dressed in the most sober and baggy black outfit they could find. How about a little equal opportunity drooling for all the wives and girlfriends at this place? They have the drinks for us. I really can't imagine a man ordering that rum drink or even a rasberry shandy. How about some eye candy?

After our sojourn at the bar we went by Target to get some strawberries and chocolate so I could make chocolate covered strawberries, which I guess I'd better hurry up and do since two days have gone by since then.

So, Valentine's day. I got the kids those Amazing Hamsters that they can attach to their Webkinz accounts. Why? Because they were 50% off and then another 40% off, so I got these originally $14 toys for about $2.50 each. In fact, they may be getting another one for Easter if I don't decide to keep the extra ones for myself (I got 5, so that's two each for them and one for me. My husband is too busy with geneology to play much Webkinz). I like discounted toys. I am not telling anyone what I got my husband, but I think he will like it. It's from ebay. Ebay is my new best friend. I have branched out away from collectibles and I am loving it. Got some great waterproof gloves for my kids in the middle of all that snow and I didn't have to leave the house! I may do a lot more shopping on ebay in the months to come, but for "necessities" instead of the sorts of things I usually buy there (collectibles, if I have the money). In fact, I think I need an ebay business to get rid of some of the stuff I have accumulated that I no longer need.

I don't have very fancy gifts for the teachers this year. I got them little glass picture frames that were 30% off (so they were only a few dollare each) and then Miranda announced that she wanted a gift for her LEAP teacher too, so I went to the "gift drawer" and found some candles that need a home.

If you are a mom you need a gift drawer. This is where you put all those miscellaneous things you buy on clearance that you don't really need but you think are cute. Leave them in there for a year or two and then pull them out and give them as gifts. Usually the items in there cost less than $10, sometimes less than $5, and they can be used for Easter baskets, stockings, Valentine's day, or last minute teacher or Christmas gifts. There usually isn't much in there that appeals to men, though. It's mostly things for ladies and children. If your gift drawer is getting low, it's time to hit the after holiday clearance!!!!

I worked at Target for about six months when the girls were in preschool to try to make some extra cash for Christmas (and I liked it). In fact, I liked working at Target better than being an attorney, except for the money. I got to go there in the evenings and it was quiet (the girls were 3 and turned 4 while I was doing this). I got to work in Domestics a lot, which meant that I was folding towels and sheets and cleaning up things so that the store would look nice in the morning. It was like being paid to do the laundry. Then after I finished that area I went to clothing and helped sort women's clothing. The men working at Target are totally lost in women's clothing because they don't understand the sizing at all and they can't seem to look at a garment and figure out whether it is girls, juniors or women's. They are clueless, especially the young men (and if you are an older man you are probably off zoning the groceries). At Target (give it that French pronunciation, Tar-jay), there are a few customers in the evenings, so it can be kind of slow, and you are mostly getting paid for "doing the laundry." And I learned how to fold a towel, so now my linen closet looks awesome. Well, except that it's too full of stuff.

Working at Target I learned a lot: where all the clearance aisles are; where everything in the store is located; when things go on clearance and on sale (if you want girls' clothing, Sunday morning is the time to go because it and a lot of things are marked down Sat night as Sunday starts the new Target week, with the new Sunday circular). I also learned that the worst aisles to fix during a holiday (ANY holiday) are Seasonal and Mini Seasonal (which refers to the seasonal stuff near the front of the store that gets you on the way out). This is also where you want to head the day AFTER a holiday, for that seasonal clearance. And if there is anything left a week after the holiday it will be dirt cheap.

It's really amazing how the retailers have conditioned people to shop for the holidays and around certain events that happen again every year. And they are trying to build up the more minor holidays (such as St. Patrick's Day and Memorial Day) around the big FOUR candy holidays. The candy holidays are Christmas, Valentine's Day, Easter and Halloween. Then there are the Patriotic Holidays: centered on 4th of July, they are now trying to build up Memorial Day and Veteran's Day so that you are buying that patriotic stuff for months from May through September. And of course there are Four Seasons for clothing: Spring, Summer, Fall and Back to School, Christmas/Winter. Back to School is the biggest season of all. We adults can limp along on our pathetic wardrobes for another season if we have to, but the kids almost always need new stuff in August, so get out those credit cards!!!

Of course, most men don't do this shopping and are totally oblivious to what is going on in retail at any given time. When you buy a pair of shoes for your child in January that she can't wear until Spring Break because the shoes are 40% off, and the shoes won't be there in her size by spring break, the men just look at you and sigh. I bought Miranda a bathing suit last month, and she won't be going swimming, probably until April. But her suit was trashed, she only wants a one piece, and there were only three at Justice and two of them were black (which doesn't favor her coloring). So I got her the other one. At 40% off. In January. I'll be getting Amelia a bathing suit next week. She has two from last season and the season before (hand me ups) that she can still wear but she doesn't really like either one (which is why they aren't worn out yet).

So, I guess it is Valentine's Day and I need to worry about getting the grapes to the school party and getting the kids out of bed in a few minutes. Last year I did some reasearch into St. Valentine's Day before we went to Kingdom A & S. It was supposed to be for a kid's class. What I found out was that Valentine's greetings were sometimes printed after the invention of the printing press and the day was in fact celebrated prior to 1600. It became really big with the Victorians when they ignited the greeting card industry. But people have sent greetings and messages to loved ones for yearss before that, and I'm sure single people have felt left out for years before that.

My husband used to send flowers to my office because that's where I was, and of course then everyone at your office saw your flowers. This sucks when you are single. In fact, I highly recommend that if you are single and you can afford it, you send yourself some nice flowers or get yourself a really nice gift, even if it's not traditional. In fact, I recommend that you do this even if you have a husband, lover, boyfriend, etc. I got myself a few nice movies to watch when I am sewing.

My husband and I ran into a friend while we were doing our Friday night Valentine's Day shopping and she said, "OH, spending Valentine's Day at Target???" But I showed her my bag of strawberries and whipped cream and I think she was jealous. She was there with her four year old after a hard day of work and, even though it was close to 9 pm, was still dressed in her work clothes.

Boy, I remember those days (the shopping at 9 pm and the days with the 4 year olds). And I'm glad they are behind me.

Pleasant Valley Mom, Signing Off to go to Valentine's Day Some More!!!!!

CheeseHeads Unite, or What's A Girl To Do?

Well, the SuperBowl (big football game for those of you unfamiliar with it) has come and gone, and even if you were living under a rock you probably got exposed to some of the HOOPLA. Why do they have HOOPLA for football? Wouldn't it be more appropriate for basketball?

I always serve lots of snack food for the family although we don't really have a SuperBowl party. It's kind of like our New Year's Eve, a family only celebration.

I am secretly celebrating the end of football season.

Actually, my husband is not too bad about watching sports, although if the Saints are on, don't expect him to clean up the kitchen. And he is also a big Green Bay Packers fan since childhood. He saw the very first SuperBowl, Number I, when Bart Starr was the quarterback (and he pointed out the old man who is now Bart Starr when they showed him on TV yesterday).

Even I remember Bart Starr a little. I joked on Facebook that I wasn't old enough to remember SuperBowl I (well, what I actually said was, I wasn't sure I had been born). Of course, one of my trusty friends made sure she corrected my math and told me (and everyone) that, yes, I was born but the time this Americn Iconic Experience came to town. I remember Bart Starr because I think my brother had football trading cards in Elementary School. Do they still do football trading cards? Does anyone under 45 collect them?

So, the SuperBowl. An American Icon. Now we have celebrities on the Red Carpet, like Harrison Ford (usually they are promoting their new movies and books, so it's like one long advertisement all day long). After Christina Aguillar botchted the National Anthem (did you catch the look on the faces of the Troops in Iraq?), well, there was some politicking and there were references to 911, World War II and other great historic events, although I think they skipped a mention of the Boston Tea Party. I guess freedom means we are free to---have the SuperBowl! A big football game that generates lots of advertising revenue.

I usually watch the Halftime show to see which famous recording artist (usually Non American)will perform. Of course, I probably shouldn't let my kids watch it. They were watching during the famous Janet Jackson Nipplegate a few years ago, although I think we had all turned away to watch Amelia playing with her food or something and missed the actual "flash in the pan." I had to watch it later on the Internet to see what I missed.

So this year I made a bet with Miranda that the Black Eyed Peas would NOT get bleeped when they sang their Boom Boom Pow song (don't know the official name of this song. Does it matter?) They got bleeped on American Idol a few seasons ago when they did it. She bet that they WOULD get bleeped. So we paid very close attention to the halftime show, and since they DID NOT get bleeped, she now has to make her bed every day this week IN THE MORNING. No waiting until she gets home from school (I'm trying to break this bad habit). Amelia was smart enough not to take the bet although she almost went in with Miranda on it. No one was stupid enough to bet money. At least Fergie has a good nickname.

I thought the halftime show did very well considering that their Friday practice got cancelled at Texas Stadium (the same day that ice fell off the roof and hit workers in the head). I saw one person whose electrically lit costume wouldn't turn off when it was supposed to, but other than that it looked pretty good.

It was a pretty good game, or so I am told. I believe the Packers had several injuries and almost lost their way in the 3rd Quarter. By this point the girls were taking a bath so they could stay up and watch GLEE (they are major league Gleeks). They recently spent their Christmas gift cards and allowance to order the GLEE first season and half of the second season on DVD. It was supposed to be here Saturday on Free Member Express Ship but we got a notice that it would be late due to the ice storms.

We got out Friday and got some SuperBowl groceries and some milk and eggs for a neighbor. By the way, folks, Target prices on SuperBowl stuff on Friday were lower than on Sunday. I had to go by there Sunday to make a return and do some shopping, and I had to buy a second bean dip. It was 50 cents more than the jar that I bought on Friday, and most of the chips and other dips had higher prices as well. Keep this in mind for your SuperBowl planning next year.

Yes, I had a busy Sunday. In addition to returning some pjs and picking up some last minute SuperBowl and other food items that I forgot on Friday, I went clothes shopping for the girls. I got some really inexpensive (nice euphemism for cheap) courderoy pants for between $7 and $4 a pair, and about $50 worth of slip on slippers for $5 a pair (I will be wearing these around the house and the tent at Gulf Wars!!) In other news, the movie The Other Boleyn Girl is available in the cheap movies bin down the way from Electronics for only $5.

I tried to watch this on Sunday when I was back home and doing the laundry. My husband decided to try to prove to me that we owned the movie already by looking through a number of bins and stirring up so much dust that I had to dust the TV set once he finally left the room. No, we didn't own it already. I've only seen it once, and I would have seen it more times if we owned it. The costumes are awesome. Some of it is not strictly historical but that's because it's based on Phillipa Gregory's novel.

I finally gave up trying to watch the rest of the movie since everyone wanted me to come see the kickoff. I came out to see it and then waited 30 more minutes for it to occur (fortunately I was sewing trim on a dress so it wasn't wasted time).

We had lots of food! I made a 7 layer dip although my kids and I argued over whether it really had 7 layers or not. I left out the guacamole (Robert doesn't like it) and the green onions (forgot to get them and they would upset my stomach anyway). So it was a bit bland but still good. We mixed the olives, tomatos, and some lettuce together for a layer (although I counted it as three layers). There's still some of this left for munching today. We had some chili and some queso and some chips, as well as ham, fruit, old cookies from Christmas (now in the trash, thank the Lord). Even the dogs couldn't eat any more and started walking away from doggie leftovers. Since the only liquor we have in the house is vodka, I got some orange juice and I drank screwdrivers because Shiner Bock, my husband's beer, is a little too heavy for me. Of course, the family had already used up all my football napkins that I found last week when cleaning out a drawer, so we used Valentine's Day and old Mother's Day napkins instead. We have a plastic football bowl that was supposed to be a one use only thing--well, five years later it's still going strong.

Amelia and Miranda spent most of the game on a free website decorating rooms. Then we checked Facebook and they thought it was pretty cool (no FB accounts for them until age 14 though). They were shopping the Foamation website for CheeseHead apparel by halftime. I want the CheeseHead earrings and the doggie hats! Actually, if you like foam products that look like Cheese, this place does it all. Cheesy ties, Cheesy tophats, and Cheesy baby clothes (OK, maybe not the last one). And all of the products that I saw retailed at $20 or less!!.

You can tell this is a business that is being operated by a non-retailer. He should have made that price $19.99.

So, this was my day: Go to Target. Return PJs. Buy food. Shop Clearance and Valentines' Day kids clothes. Come home and unload. Try clothes on kids. Try slippers on everyone. Take tags off slippers. Persuade kids to think about the clothes for a few days before I have to take them back. Get Robert to fix everyone brunch (eggs and bacon) since no one has eaten ANYTHING during my absence and it is now 11:30 (what have they all been doing for the last two hours, anyway?) Try to get girls to go get dressed and finish putting away their laundry. Start more laundry. Friend comes over to return some clothes her daughter didn't like and buy some others from my consignment pile in the living room. Friend gives me a hug because my house looks almost as bad as hers does (what can I say, the kids have been out of school since Tuesday and they didn't finish putting their things away upstairs). Make 7 layer dip and put out munchies. Put on new movie. Get annoyed at husband for stirring up dust trying to prove that we own movie already, when I know we don't. Fold and put away three loads of laundry. Match up odd socks. Finish snacky lunch and second screwdriver. Start sewing trim on sleeves of dress, my friend's idea. Check Facebook and put silly stuff out there on the web. Check Ansteorran digest (It's so refreshing--people in the SCA have to ASK what time the game starts!! It started about the same time it has every year for the last 12 years or so, around 5:30 to 6:00, depending on whether you want to see the national anthem and the coin toss prior to kickoff.)

Back to my day: Try to order some stuff from Kohl's--needs to wait until I can put some money in my account (the bank was closed Friday when I tried). Bid on another present for my husband on Ebay (I am determined that I am going to win this!!!) Tinker with Kohl's order to try to get free shipping. Switch clothes over and start another load. Go clean up kitchen and some snacks. Feed tidbits to dogs. Eat some more. Watch Halftime show. Win bet with Miranda over whether the Black Eyed Peas will be bleeped. Listen to husband complain about how mediocre they are (well, I don't disagree). Go back to Internet for a while and read SCA digests and Facebook Posts on the SuperBowl. Clean up the rest of the SuperBowl food and set up dishwasher to run in 4 hours. Watch last two minutes of game and part of the trophy presentation. Explain to the girls who Vince Lombardi was and why the trophy is going Home to Green Bay (VL was the first coach of the Packers and coached them to their first two SuperBowl wins, in SuperBowls I and II. Then they went downhill for a while. This is only their fourth victory in 45 years, and Robert still has the sweatshirt from the last time, which Amelia is wearing to school today). Go to bedroom to watch Glee. Crash about halfway through Glee and miss the big Thriller finale (Michael Jackson's relatives must be making a fortune exploiting his music--his death must be the best thing that ever happened to them). Get up later and get ready for bed. Take another Benedryl to stave off eczema and itching. Sleep until 3am. Get up to do email and blog. So now we are caught up. Except on laundry.

Who has time to watch football, anyway?

By the way, the other team playing in the SuperBowl was the Steelers, a great team if you like Pittsburgh. I'm sure there's at least one ex boyfriend of mine out there rooting for them (in football you root. You don't cheer. This was wisdom imparted by my sports fanatic ex boyfriend, and even though he is my ex boyfriend, he was usually right on anything sports related).

There were some interesting and accurate Facebook comments about how all men don't look good in tight yellow pants. Well, the Steelers may not have won the game but they won the tight yellow pants contest hands down on FaceBook. Most of those Green Bay guys looked like they had eaten too much Wisconsin cheese.

Pleasant Valley Mom (will I actually get to sew or scrapbook today or is there too much laundry left?)

Girls' Night Out in Ansteorra

It takes at least four hours to go buy some dowel rods and washers in Ansteorra. Really.

I guess I should explain. "Ansteorra" is the name of the SCA Kingdom (fictitious of course) that includes Texas and Oklahoma. Within our Kingdom we are organized into Baronies, Shires and Cantons. The Barony of Stargate is Houston (get it? Astronauts, etc.) The Barony of Namron is Norman, Oklahoma (which spelled backwards is Namron). My favorite name is the Shire of Dragonsfire Tor (near Stephenville/Glen Rose and a nuclear power plant). Here in Dallas we are the Barony of the Steppes (I guess because it's flat) and Fort Worth is the Barony of Elfsea (I don't know why they get this cool name. Maybe someone will write and explain it to me). It's a lot easier to find themed gift items for prize baskets and largess if your name is "Elfsea" (the symbol is the shell) vs. The Steppes (our symbol is the oak tree and our motto is something along the lines of from little acorns mighty oaks grow). In fact, the Barony of the Steppes awards an acorn as a service award and if you have done lots and lots of cool stuff for the Barony, they may make you a member of the Order of the Oak.

I don't know about you but I'm lucky to get a few shoots to grow when I plant an acorn. I haven't gotten a real oak tree out of one yet. About the only use I have had for acorns in recent years is to mount them on felt, draw faces on them and call them Girl Scout Swaps. As in, "Happy Fall to All!" SWAPS are Small Whatchamacallits Affectionately Pinned, and the girls make them and trade them in Scouts these days. The boys make them too but they are usually gross and have to do with bugs and green slime.

If you pick the acorns up off the ground when they are too green, they shrink up when they dry and the "hat" comes off so that all that is left is the little face glued to a scrap of felt. And there's nothing sadder than a bald acorn swap that has lost its's hat!! Happy Fall indeed.


So, back to the four hour trip to the hardware store. This all started when I asked one of the SCA ladies to teach a small spinning class to children and possibly adults at the January Populace in the Park meeting that was last Sunday. She decided to teach spinning, and Duncan (excuse me, that's my husband Robert's SCA name) agreed to make ths spindles. He's a woodworker when he's not an Oracle DBA. We started this process on Tuesday becuase I just had a feeling that making a spindle would have a lot of steps and need to be accomplished over several days, and I was right. Besides, my husband is extremely meticulous and I knew he would want them to be the best spindles you ever saw, so best not to start on Saturday and have to pull an all nighter. There's already enough of that around here as it is.

"The Girls" (who are not really girls, but mature ladies) called Tuesday afternoon that they were on their way and were kidnapping me to go to the hardware store, and they showed up around 4 pm. Now let me explain the SAHM (Stay at Home Mom) typical and ideal schedule: Up at 6 am or earlier. Do stuff around house like starting laundry, unloading dishwasher, making coffee. Husband gets up at 6:30 and has coffee and showers. SAHM makes breakfast for kids (some would do it for the husband too but I usually let him get his own--he's a big boy after all). Get kids up, yell at kids about something. Usually the state of their room or their morning pokiness. Kids come downstairs. Yell at kids about something. Usually not being ready for school or having their stuff packed up. Get kids' lunches made, stuff ready for school, papers signed, etc. (if not done the night before). Feed kids. Husband comes in to take kids to school (driving kids to school with 1000 other parents because it's too cold for them to ride their bikes and there is no bus service). Kids need to be at school by 7:50. School is five minutes away. Due to traffic jam Husband and kids must leave on or about 7:30 or earlier to avoid the rush and a line of 1000 parents.

My morning continues. Yell at kids to get coats on. Husband yells at kids too. Husband takes kids to school (then husband goes to work unless husband works at home like mine. If husband is already in Seattle or something for the week, SAHM of course will be taking kids to work and picking husband up at the airport to save on parking).

SAHMs who are younger and cuter and hipper than I am then go to the Gym and to Starbucks. Then they go shopping or have lunch with girlfirends and gripe about kids/husband/the price of designer handbags while their cleaning lady is working on the house. Shopping may be shopping for clothes, designer accents for the perfect home, or the armpit of shopping: groceries. However, I no longer have a cleaning lady or a yard boy. That would be my husband, the old white yard guy. We are the only people on the block that have a non-hispanic yard guy except for the asian family across the street, but they like to garden and grow vegetables in the backyard. We also are one of the few families on the street without a pool so I don't have to meet with the pool guy (since a pool is a hole in your yard into which you throw money). I also don't have to meet with the decorators or the contractors because the truth of it is that I haven't changed the walls, painted, or updated the wallpaper anywhere since we moved in and our "income level changed," as they say. Oh, I had big plans once but now "decorating" consists of saying, "what can I put over that carpet stain so it won't be so obvious?"

So I usually (1) keep doing laundry; (2) decide to start cleaning out a drawer or something and then stop halfway through, distracted by something else and leaving the mess out for a week. I'm supposed to have breakfast, shower, and go run errands at this point should errands be required, eating lunch by myself on the run or trying to make do with a snack at the Starbucks at Target or Kroger or the Dunkin Donuts at WallyWorld. If I don't have much money I can't run many errands because errand running requires money (going to bank, post office, to mail packages, to pick up dry cleaning, to go and buy some arcane item for school like colored marshmallows, etc).

So what I usually do is go check my email and (1)blog; (2) play computer games like Webkinz and waste time; (3) email my friends and check my Facebook account; (4) read about celebrities on the Internet; (4) research obscure SCA topics on the Web and in Stephan's Florilegium; (5) email teachers/Destination Imagination team, doing school and kid business, checking kids' grades so I have something to yell about when they get home, (6) bid or add to my Ebay watch list; (7) put stuff in shopping bags at favorite stores that I know I'll never buy, (8) check book prices on line at Amazon and Barnes and Noble, etc. I wish I could tell you that I am writing the Great American Novel but I've just been planning to write it for the last ten years.

Other things I do: think about scrapbooking and walk past table but don't actually sit down and do it. Run laundry through dryer twice and then try to hang it up inside so it dries the rest of the way (not allowed to do this outside because of HOA rules, and dryer is not working so well these days). Some days I am putting something away or getting something out or moving something around or cleaning things, so I do the heavy stuff in the morning and then take a shower before the girls are scheduled to come home. Being a SAHM is actually a fairly physical job sometimes. Cleaned out the girls' closet upstairs last week. Working on consignment for February sale. Put away Christmas decorations a few weeks ago (well, except for what's still upstairs in the hall--I am missing a box lid and I don't know where it is).

Anyway, the day passes much too quickly. Where did all that time go? I never sat down once or watched any tv unless I was folding laundry. I eat lunch, and want to take a nap but don't usually. Then I pick up kids from school at 2:50 or persuade my husband to do it because I am still in pjs and need a shower. Get in shower. Kids come home.

Then my day REALLY begins. It is time to look at the kids' folders, get them to start on their homework, make sure I am doing something useful so they don't goof off, check email again for afternoon messages, get dressed if not dressed already, dry hair if not dry already, cook dinner starting around 5 to 5:30, feed family, clean up dinner (or persuade husband to cook, clean up or both). Collapse and watch tv with kids and husband if he is not paged or on a call and kids don't have any more homework. Fall asleep during tv show. Can't wake up all the way. Go up to bed to see kids or just blow it off and let husband get them in bed (especially if I have been up half the night on the Internet with eczema bothering me).

So when "the Girls" picked me up at 4, we were going to the hardware store and then possibly to get something to eat. I told my husband to go on and start dinner without me if I wasn't back by 5:30. I didn't know at that time that I was going to be gone over 4 hours during the busiest time of the day, and neither did he, so he got a little annoyed about it! "The Girls" are single and between jobs at present so they don't realize that this is the busiest time of my day either, and that the errands and such usually get done before 2:50, not after.

Of course, were I a younger and hipper and richer mom. I would be running my kids to activities and sports practices all afternoon and sometimes in the evening after dinner, but my kids are more limited than most in their activites. They have Girl Scouts, which is on the street, and they have Destination Imagination, which is in our house, and at present they have no sports or music lessons although this is always subject to change (youth boffer they do have but it is Sunday afternoons. Amelia is in Drama Club and Miranda is on the Jump Rope Team but these are free and meet Thursday afternoons after school, so they are just picked up late).

So I go to Lowe's with "the Girls." Not a traditional Mom stop! By this time it's about 5 since we spent some time talking with my husband about the spindle requirements. One of the ladies is donating some wooden disks from her father's old woodworking supplies so we need dowel rods and washers to make the spindle heavier, and some cup hooks (all in all about $15 worth of materials). Well, we take our time at Lowe's. We look at the bathroom fixtures. We get John or Bill or whoever (he's cute!) to to take us to Steve who helps us troubleshoot what type of cup hooks and dowel rods and washers we need. We have Steve help us pick out the best dowel rods that are straight (easier said than done, by the way. When I got home my husband told me the best thing to do is to try to roll them on the floor). Lowe's was as dead as a poisoned rat. By the way, I saw a large rodent--almost a ROUS or Rodent of Unusual Size--run into the sewer drain outside Lowe's as we were leaving. Ick.)

An exterminator once told me that if your neighborhood has squirrels you also have rats. Squirrels are just rats with tails, in other words. I don't think their Squirrelly Excellencies of the Steppes would be pleased with that (their personal symbol is the squirrel who of course gathers the acorns, get it?) Baron Duncan had a new tunic for Twelfth Night and I took Miranda up to the front to see the machine embroidery on the squirrels, not realizing that His Excellency's tunic would have such large--acorns--right on the lower front, strategically placed! I suppose I should have said, "Your Excellency! What nice big Acorns you have" but I just couldn't do it with a straight face in front of my 11 year old, and I didn't want to have to explain myself.

Folks, this is the time to go to Lowe's--on the way home from work or during dinner. We got the red carpet treatment. "The Girls" show a real spindle to people working at Lowe's and they think it's cool, or they pretend to at least. At the register I sort of try to persuade one of them to hurry up and pay for the merchandise and she says, "it's not like there's a line" and then she turns around and realizes that about three people have come in to do returns while we have been standing there showing off the spindle and yes, there is now a line of irate people who don't give two hoops about spindles.

Then one of them mentions that she needs to get some money and a few things from the store, so I take them to the Gucci WallyWorld across the street. Now, I have written about the Gucci WallyWorld before but we decided to take a partial tour. The girls are impressed by the WallyWorld. They've never seen one with a park out front (seriously, there's a large tree out front that has been preserved and it's a kind of park, with benches for eating lunch and everything). We pick out the personal items that one needs and we look at the sewing and crafts items, and some of the food items, and we browse electronics and look at movies, Skipe cards, and other interesting items. I want to browse camping but they dissuade me. The one gets money and gets in line to buy her things. I talk with the other after a trip to the restroom.

At this point they are hungry. I should have called my husband by now but I am having a lot of fun and not really thinking about it. After all, I told him to start dinner if I wasn't home by 5:30. Wasn't that essentially a tacit admission that I wasn't GOING to be home by 5:30??? In the Legal World we call that an Admission Against Interest.

I talk them into one of my favorite restaurants, the northern branch of a burger chain called Snuffers. The original branch is on Lower Greenville near SMU, and my law buddies used to go there to drink and eat cheddar fries. It had a wooden floor and was the kind of place that frat boys and sorority girls would go eat, but in those days I was in my 20s and not very far removed from those college and law school days (as were my law buddies). This Snuffer's is more sanitized, more corporate, more for young affluent families and their children, more of a sports bar with big screen tvs everywhere, for people who are shopping for overpriced designer clothing. They have the best hamburgers and cheddar fries in the world. Seriously, I went all the way to Stillwater OK to eat at Eskimo Joes (four hours each way)--well, I guess I was really there for Red Tape (King's Round Table)--and Eskimo Joe's couldn't touch Snuffers' curly fries. I was disappointed.

So we have a great meal at Snuffers. I have to be a little pushy with one of "the Girls" (I'm getting really sick of referring to these ladies as girls. "The girls" is usally how I refer to the real girls, my twin girls who are 11). One of the Ladies (see, that'a a little better) is diabetic and eats very few carbs so she mostly eats meat, protein and vegetables, making eating out a challenge. She really wants to go to Taco Bueno but I realize it is getting late and I don't even know where a Taco Bueno is, but not close to where we are. I finally tell her that if she will just try Snuffer's, she never has to go there again, and she can pick the place the next time (she is trying to get me to go to Appleby's and I hate Applieby's, plus I only have $20 and I'm buying dinner for the other Lady as well since she is ferrying us around using her gas). The diabetic lady gets a taco salad without the shell or tortilla strips and seems satisfied. The other lady and I split a huge burger and an order of curly fries and we are stuffed. A pretty decent meal for about $10 a person, including my beer. Well, I can't very well go to Snuffers without having a beer, now can I? So I hoist a beer in memory to those good old legal days with Dave and Tim hanging out at the SMU Snuffers and griping about the Jones Day partners.

(I can tell you that one time, Dave and Tim and I went to Snuffers for lunch and we just stayed there for the rest of the afternoon. After we drank way more than we should have we drove over to my townhouse about 4 pm and sat in the back yard and planned out the law practice that we were going to start together. It was going to be a litigation boutique practice and we were going to kick some legal butt and be millionaires by age 35. Tim went to Harvard Law and Dave went to SMU and had some local contacts, and I went to Virginia Law, so we had some serious brain power there in that back yard, even if we had been killing brain cells all afternoon. It was a lovely spring day and the yellow asian jasmine was in bloom on the fence. We finally started sobering up --probably the thought of those $20,000 per year malpractice premiums did it, and this was in 1988. We did keep the planning up for a few weeks and tried to put together a business plan, but of course we didn't really have the funding to go out on our own. Dave later did for a while but then went back to a lawfirm environment, in house, then back again to a law firm, and after all, that was the day he told me that he couldn't live on less than $90,000 a year (remember, this was 1988). Tim and I moved on to smaller firms, then I to in house practice at JCPenney. Tim's wife left him when he had an affair with a stripper and nearly married her--after she took him for a ride both literally and figuratively, he met a nice girl and remarried. Dave, who was already married, hence the need for the $90,000 a year, had twin boys and named them both after himself--one was David Henry which was his first and middle name and one was Alexander, which was his Catholic Baptism name. Dave probably made lots of money because he was a real go-getter, and I don't know whether he still has his first wife or has "upgraded" to a younger model, and now I am a SAHM who likes to tour WallyWorld in her spare time. Sigh.)

OK, back to reality now. The girls decided after WalleyWorld to go to Starbucks (now it's starting to be more like a mom outing!) So we got Starbucks, even though we just ate, and I finally called my husband. He's wondering where I am and so are the kids. He thought I would be gone about an hour or so and now it's almost 9 pm. I go back in and somehow it gets mentioned that Barnes and Noble is still open and just around the corner (actually it was across from Snuffers). One of the Ladies wants to go there but I persuade them to come out another day to try the local B & N, a lovely store where I can spend a lot of time. I really don't need to be out much later because even with the Starbucks caffeine I am about ready to turn into a pumpkin. I have been up since 4 am after all.

So we Wayward Wenches return to the homefront and the other girls (the 11 year olds) are in bed. The husband looks at the materials that it has taken us more than 4 hours to bring him and seems satisfied, so all is well. But next time I think I need to phone home a little earlier or provide a better time frame for him!!!

Pleasant Valley Mom (feeling like a Starbucks run about now, but unfortunately Pleasant Valley does not have an all night Starbucks)